The Diary Of Jeca

There's always a rainbow after the rain. I always think that way, no matter how big my problem is. Hi, I'm Gabb. I'm twenty-eight years old. I am just a simple guy with a simple dream. Today, I want to share my story with you. This could make you happy, angry, or even sad. So please bear with me. I have a girlfriend named Jeca, and we have been in a relationship for a long time. At first, we were happy, and she was the girl of my dream, but then my life became so difficult when she became pregnant. My parents and my sister can't accept it. They think that the baby was not mine. Yes, I know there was a third party, but I love her and am willing to take the risk. After all, I believe that people can change. My father was so upset about the situation that he forced me to go to my Aunt's place to study and finish my course as a computer programmer. He thinks that if I am away from Jeca, I may forget about the baby. Of course, I had second thoughts. I wanted to finish college, but I am with my baby and Jeca. If I do not go, I can't afford to feed them and give them a good life. So, I decided to go to my Aunt's house, and even if I disagreed with my dad's decision, I would still be in a bad situation because I would be kicked out of our house, and they would not support me for my finances so that I can finish studying if I did not go. I am afraid of losing a home and support from my family while I am learning. I need to graduate to have a better job. I don't have anywhere to go, and I know that a family is always a family, so I can't disobey my family's decision. I am under pressure. I don't want to leave Jeca, but Honestly, I feel like Jeca is hiding something. So even though it was hard, I decided to go to my Aunt's place. Maybe I need some time to think more about my situation. After a week, I started my journey to Manila, where my aunt's place is. Jeca tried to stop me, and she was so angry and said something terrible to me. She said, "This is your daughter, and you will not take responsibility? f**k you! Go to hell and die already! Please don't come back, and I don't need you. I can take care of my baby on my own" She constantly mocks me on the phone. But I am trying to understand her will. I know I am making a wrong decision, but I feel that Jeca is up to something, and I know this isn't good. So I decide to go. While studying there, I met some friends who made me feel that I was not alone. I told them my situation with Jeca, the baby, and my family couldn't accept it. They tried to tell me that if I thought that baby was mine, then I needed to make a decision, and I told them I had second thoughts about it because I knew Jeca had another relationship with another guy. And they said people change, and we can't hide it. Every day Jeca tried to message me and convince me to come home to take responsibility by mocking me. Every day and time came, she begged me to come home and sent me some money to go home to the province. But I need to think about this a lot. What if my family is right about the baby? Maybe this baby is not mine? But what if this is not mine? I couldn't afford the DNA during that time, so I couldn't check if the baby were mine. But I need to decide whether this is mine or not. Maybe I needed to decide fast? My auntie treated me very well. She also talked to me about what I should do about my problem. She just said only one thing. If your heart tells you that the baby is yours, take responsibility. Then I decided to return home. I called my sister first because she'd understand the situation even if she was upset. I told her I wanted to go home to take care of Jeca and the baby. I want to find a job for my family. At first, my sister and I had a big argument about it. I can't blame her because she saw Jeca with another man and doesn't like her attitude. Jeca is rude to her family, materialistic and enjoys playing with boys, and never respects the people that love her for the sake of money and power. But then, she agreed with me when I said, "I want to take responsibility for the mess that I made." She gave me some money, even though she got second thoughts about my decision, and after a week, I went home. I had a big problem when I came back home. My parents didn't want me anymore and thought I had disobeyed them. But I tried to talk to them to settle things. I even told them I needed to be responsible. After a day, I called Jeca and told her I had gone back home. And she was so happy about it. She even gave me money to visit her because she knew I had little money. Then we met. I always take her to our computer shop because that's the only place we can sleep without thinking of being caught by my family and her parents. And of course, because my sister lives in the computer shop, she allows me to stay together with Jeca because she slowly accepts the situation and even offers me some help to find a good job. Jeca and I discussed our plans, like jobs, money, house, and wedding. But it seems like Jeca was not excited to hear about marriage. I wonder why. The time came that I needed to face the family of Jeca. I need to be strong even if there is a threat in my life. I must be brave and face this problem if I go in there. I hope that the Lord God will help me. When I step into their house, I feel anger and disappointment in the atmosphere. Her dad, brothers, and sisters look at me, then they beat me, and I never fight back. Jeca cried and shouted, "That's enough. Please stop." I can't blame them because this can stain their dad's reputation as a pastor. Yes, the father of Jeca is a pastor. He is holding a small church in a small village. His wife had already left him because of a guy at that time, too, so the problem he got was too much to bear. The people in the village are talking about him because of the things that happened in his life. He just lost his wife, and Jeca and I did awful things against his teaching. When I try to talk to them, I can't even say a word because they will speak words that are not pleasant to my ears. But I need to face this problem. I need to understand everything happens because of the result of our actions. It's just me and Jeca who can fix it. So I tried my best to apologize and talked to them. They can't accept me and never say a word, but after some time of trying to speak to them, they say I need to go, and they don't want me to get in their house again because they will never accept a person like me. Tears were flowing as I walked out o the house. Jeca tried to talk to me, and she said we could solve this problem. I tried my best to look for a job to support my family, take Jeca to my place, and buy the things she liked. I know her very much she likes fancy items and expensive ones. Even though this is very hard for me, I hope that Jeca will change her attitude toward her love of things and money. And yet she is getting worst. Every time I can give her the things she wants, she will scream at me and mock me as if I am a useless person. Maybe this is what they said love is blind. I am trying to fix everything even though it's hard. If I get into this relationship and take responsibility, my life will become even more miserable. May the Lord help me to change everything smoothly. While waiting for the baby's arrival. I applied for customer service in a call center, and I got the job with the help of a friend and my sister. Then I started to work, but the salary was too low. I have difficulty keeping up or even sending some money to Jeca. When the time came that the baby was born, I wanted to go to the hospital, but the father of Jeca was mad at me, and they told me that if I came to their house, they would beat me to death again, and I was not allowed to be absent from my job either. I need to keep a good record because I am new to the company. I may lose my job and be unable to support Jeca and the baby if I get fired. After a week, I went to her house. I am so excited. But I felt a bit uncomfortable because the father of Jeca looked at me with anger in his eyes. The brothers and sisters of Jeca were unhappy to see me, yet I greeted them. Then the brothers of Jeca rushed to me to beat me again, and Jeca tried to help me. And yet I look at them and say I'm sorry for the things I caused, but they are too angry to hear me out, and they look at me with anger in their eyes, then they leave. I took a step toward the baby's crib. I felt so happy. And I said, " You are so beautiful like your mother, dear. What is her name? " I asked her mother. Then Jeca got close to me and hugged me. She said, "Her name is Sofie," and I said, "I will do my best to fix everything. I will work hard. We will get married. We will buy a house. " I said with excitement in my eyes. But Jeca was just silent during that time. I don't know why. I hoped my suspicion was false that she was hiding something I didn't know. I decided to talk to her father about the situation. I told him, "I know I made a mess, but please let me be a father to your granddaughter."I never regret having a beautiful daughter, and I hope you feel the same way. I'm sorry, "Then he was silent. I looked at my daughter again. Then, I heard him say, " Why don't you stay for a night to have a longer time with your baby and Jeca? And I smiled. Then I said, "Thank you." Then he smiled at me, and I asked him, "Does this mean you already forgive me?" "Everybody is not perfect, even me. I made mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from our mistakes. I forgive you, and I thank you. Even though the situation was hard for you, you chose to stay. "Please take care of my daughter and granddaughter," he replied. "Thank you for forgiving me." "Can I call you dad?" I asked, "Sure," he answered. I stayed in Jeca's house for two days and two nights. Even though it was a tiring day because I needed to take care of two important people, I felt satisfied and happy. Having this family is a big blessing for me, and I thank God for it. I hope this happiness will never end. I hoped to be a better person and have a happy life with Jeca, but I was wrong. This is just the start of my miserable life with her. I kept sending some money to Jeca, and I was so confused why she was not happy she didn't want me to see my baby I always begged her to let me see my baby she got mood swings, and I keep understand the things that were happening because he is a new mom. I send gifts as long as I get some money. I work day and night, yet she's not happy about it. I tried to ask her the problem, but she was not answering, and she would look at me with anger as if she was not happy if I was around. Every day I try my best to please her I spend money, time, and effort, but to my surprise, if I will not do anything special, she will be in a good mood and always get mad at me, and I can feel that she doesn't like me to be in her. Is she hiding something from me? But she's the one that was asking me to stay, so why is it right now she wants me to go? But I let it be. I am trying to convince myself that everything is alright and it is just her mood swing, but one day, I ask her to come to have a date with me together with my baby. She always has a lot of excuses; I am begging for time with my baby. She knows that I am busy at work and I have just a little time to be with them, and yet she doesn't think about it and gives me a hard time being with my baby, and ignores my request. I hope that this is just nothing. I wish I didn't make the wrong decision.