Play Pretend

Chapter 2

Formalities

I was walking on eggshells while following him closely behind. Throughout the whole ride, we were accompanied by silence. Hindi ako nangahas na magsalita dahil biglang naging mukhang problemado si Xaiver.

I couldn’t help but steal glances at him from time to time. Pinapakiramdaman at inaalam ko kung ano pa ang mga nagbago sa kanya. Nakatingin lamang siya sa labas habang nakakunot ang noo. His jaw would also clench at the same time the creases on his forehead moved. Kung ano man ang iniisip niya, mukhang ayon ang nagpapairita sa kanya. Iyon ang dahilan kung bakit siya problemado.

Kahit na gusto kong malaman kung mayroon ba akong maitutulong, mas pinili ko ang manahimik. I kept silent until we arrived at the company.

Once again, all eyes were on us. The same scenario happened every time we would come to the company. Mas bumilis nga lang ang paglalakad ni Xaiver. It didn’t help that he had way longer legs than mine. Matangkad din naman ako, pero halos tumakbo na ako para lang maabutan siya.

“Chantal.”

I snapped straight and turned my head to him. “Yes, Sir?”

“Please ask the cook to prepare two servings of lunch today.”

“Noted, Sir.”

“Thanks.”

Tipid akong ngumiti. Nang bumukas ang elevator pagkarating namin sa tamang palapag ay agad na lumabas si Xaiver. I let out a sigh of relief before following him again.

Mukhang bumalik na siya sa pagiging masungit kaya naman nawala na ang aking pagkabalisa. Dire-diretso siyang pumasok sa kanyang opisina habang ako naman ay naupo na rin sa lamesa ko. Joseph was already there when we arrived. Lagi siyang mas nauuna sa aming dumating.

“Badtrip si Sir?” bungad niyang tanong nang napansin siguro ang pagkunot ng noo ni Xaiver. May himig ng takot ang tono ng kanyang boses.

Tipid akong ngumiti saka nagkibit-balikat. Sa totoo lang ay hindi ko alam kung badtrip ba talaga si Xaiver, pero mas gusto ko nang makita siyang nagsusungit kaysa nakangiti at mukhang mabait. Pakiramdam ko’y hindi ako makakatulog nang maayos kung nagpatuloy pa ‘yon.

Before checking my emails and organizing Xaiver’s schedule that week, I sent a notice to the cafeteria regarding his lunch. Sinabi kong dalawa ang pinapahanda niyang serving ng lunch. I figured he must have a friend coming over, or it could also be his cousin na lagi ring bumibisita rito. Sigurado akong hindi tungkol sa trabaho ‘yon dahil alam ko dapat kung ganoon.

Mabilis ang pagtakbo ng oras kay Joseph na mukhang madaming ginagawa habang ako naman ay pilit na naghahanap ng gagawin. I had already planned his lunch meals for the rest of the month. Mayroon ding optional dinner para kung sakaling mag-o-overtime siya ay may nakahanda na agad.

“Bababa ka na?” tanong ni Joseph nang makitang tumayo na ako para kuhanin ang lunch ni Xaiver sa cafeteria.

I nodded. “Sabay ka ba?”

“Mamaya na lang kapag bumaba ka na ulit. Tapusin ko lang ‘to,” sabi niya sabay nguso sa monitor. “Patingnan na lang muna kung ano mga ulam ngayon.”

“Okay. Baba na ako.”

Wala akong inaksayang oras at agad sumakay ng elevator. I was grateful that I could use his private elevator during lunch dahil madami ang umaakyat-baba nang ganoong oras. Some were having lunch at the cafeteria. Ang iba naman ay kung hindi may baon, bumibili lang sa cafeteria o sa labas pagkatapos ay sa office lounge kumakain.

One of the benefits as an employee at Dele Vega Holdings was our meal cards. Hindi mo na kailangang problemahin ang pagkain ng tanghalian dahil sagot na nila ‘yon. Kaya nga lang, mas pinipili pa rin ng iba ang magbaon dahil pwede mong idagdag sa salary mo ang matitirang balance ng card every month. Sayang at nasa limang libo rin buwan-buwan kaya gano’n ang ginagawa ng mga nagtitipid.

Dati ay hindi ko ipagkakailang ganoon din ako, ngunit nang nakaluwag-luwag na, sinamantala ko na rin ang libreng lunch. Masasarap din ang luto sa cafeteria na pwedeng pantayan ang mga pagkain sa Filipino restaurants na may kamahalan ang tinda.

“Chantal!” ngiting bati sa akin ni Ma’am Sofia, ang manager ng cafeteria. Nakita kong nakahanda na ang pagkain ni Xaiver sa isang trolley.

“Good afternoon! Nandito na po ba lahat?” tanong ko saka sinuyod ng tingin ang trolley. Mayroon kasing takip ang mga plato kaya hindi ko sigurado.

“Oo naman. Handang-handa na. Two servings of lunch, ‘di ba?”

Tumango ako at ngumiti. “Thank you po, Ma’am Sofia,” sabi ko saka inabot ang meal plan na ginawa ko kanina. “Ito na po pala ‘yung hanggang katapusan. Bigay ko na lang po ‘yung pang next month kapag nagawa ko na.”

“Ayon! Itatanong ko pa lang sana,” natatawang sabi ni Ma’am Sofia at agad na tinanggap ang papel. “Thank you! Pinapadali mo talaga ang trabaho namin dito.”

I chuckled at that and lightly shook my head. “Wala pong problema,” sabi ko. “Balik na po ako sa office at baka nandoon na ang bisita ni Sir Xaiver.”

Pagkatapos naming magpaalam sa isa’t isa ay pinasadahan ko muna ng tingin ang mga ulam nakahanda para sa mga empleyado. May iba’t ibang klaseng mga putahe gaya ng nakagawian. May soup, pirito, sinarsahan, at purong gulay na ulam para sa mga vegan. Aside from those dishes, mayroon ding dessert na leche flan.

Once done checking all the dishes, I quickly pushed the trolley out of the cafeteria and went up to the executive department. Saktong oras na ng lunch, pero para makasiguro ay pinindot ko ang intercom upang makausap si Xaiver.

“Yes, Chantal?” Xaiver answered right away with his low, quiet voice.

“Your lunch is ready, Sir. Ipapasok ko na po ba?”

“Yes, please.”

“Okay po.”

Muli kong pinindot ang intercom para patayin ‘yon. Nagsenyasan kaming dalawa ni Joseph na maghihintayang bumaba para kumain ng lunch bago ako tuluyang pumasok sa opisina.

Xaiver seemed to be finalizing some papers as he was still on his desk. He quickly signed at the bottom of every page at the speed of lightning. Agad ko ring iniwas ang tingin sa kanya at tinungo ang small lounge area sa loob ng opisina niya. I placed all the plates on the round dining table before taking off all the covers.

As always, Xaiver’s lunch was like a very expensive meal at a 5-star hotel. He was going to have steak, mashed potato, and sautéed broccoli for his lunch. The same set was also prepared for his friend, or whoever would join him for lunch.

Pagkatapos kong ihanda ang mga pagkain, lumapit ako sa mini fridge kung saan nakalagay ang mga paborito niyang inumin. I grabbed two bottles of water and cans of Coke zero. Hindi siya mahilig sa masyadong matamis, but he loved drinking soft drinks when eating lunch. Kaya naman ang walang lasang Coke ang gusto niya.

Once I was done with everything, I glanced at Xaiver again who was still working on his table. Not wanting to disturb him, I quietly pulled myself away from his office. Hindi pa nga lang ako nakakalagpas sa kanyang lamesa ay muli siyang nagsalita.

“Where are you going?” Xaiver asked, and I heard the click of his fountain pen.

Mabilis ko ulit siyang nilingon. Nilapag niya na ang fountain pen sa lamesa saka tumayo. He loosened his tie and removed his coat before draping it behind his swivel chair. His eyes were all on me while folding his sleeves up to his elbows.

“Uhm, magla-lunch na po sana…” nag-aalangan kong sagot. “May ipapagawa pa po ba kayo, Sir?” tanong ko at may naisip na sigurong iuutos niya sa akin. “Ipapasundo ninyo po ba sa lobby ang bisita ninyo?”

Xaiver raised his brow, looking confused. “Bisita?”

I nodded, then pointed at the dining table where two servings of lunch were served. Huwag niya sabihing siya lahat ang kakain no’n?

Xaiver followed my pointer finger. His lips slightly parted as if he realized something. I didn't know if I was just seeing things, but I saw his ears show a hint of blush. I thought maybe he was embarrassed that he forgot about his guest.

Umayos ako ng tayo at saka tipid na ngumiti. “If there’s nothing else, Sir, labas na po ako. Just call me if you need anything,” I said, then twisted my heels to leave his office.

“Wait, Chantal.”

Gulat akong tumigil sa pag-alis at napatingin muli kay Xaiver nang tawagin niya ako. He was already walking toward me with hurried steps. Hindi ko ‘yon inaasahan kaya naman napaatras ako.

“Sir?”

“Don’t leave,” he simply said and stopped right in front of me. Konti na lamang ang natitirang distansya sa pagitan naming dalawa.

“Po?”

“I mean…” He sighed, then turned away his head, avoiding looking straight at me in the eye. “Eat lunch with me.”

My eyelids immediately fluttered while staring at him in shock. I froze, unsure of what to do. Gusto kong tumakbo agad palabas ng opisina, pero baka hindi na ako makabalik kahit kailan dahil sinisante niya na ako.

“Ako po?” walang kwentang tanong ko upang makasigurado.

Xaiver turned to me again, looking a little annoyed. “Who else?”

Napalunok ako at muling nilingon ang nakahandang pagkain. Papayag na sana ako nang maalala ko si Joseph. Madalas kaming magkasabay kumakain ng tanghalian at gano’n ang balak naming gawin noong araw na ‘yon. He was even waiting for me outside!

“Uh… Kasabay ko po kasing kumain si Joseph…” nag-aalangan kong sagot.

Xaiver frowned. Deep lines were drawn on his forehead. Halatang hindi niya nagustuhan ang sinagot ko. Mas lalo akong natakot. Mukhang masisisante na talaga ako.

Kasalanan ‘to ni Joseph!

Bago ko pa mabawi ang sasabihin ko, muling nagsalita si Xaiver. “You can… invite him to join us for lunch, too,” sabi niya at hindi ko napigilan ang pagsinghap. “But I only asked you to prepare two servings. He can bring his own food here, though, if he wants.”

“S-sigurado po kayo?”

“Yes.” Xaiver’s jaw clenched. Para bang hirap na hirap siyang sabihin ‘yon.

“Uhm, s-sige po. Tawagin ko lang po si Joseph,” sabi ko na lang.

Xaiver just silently nodded.

Nagmamadali akong lumabas. Naabutan ko si Joseph na handa nang umalis. Dala na niya ang meal card at ang kanyang tumbler. When he saw me, he stood up and asked, “Tara na?”

Ngumuso ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano sasabihin sa kanya na inaaya kaming dalawa ni Sir Xaiver na kumain kasabay niya.

Dahil sa katahimikan ko ay napakunot na rin ang kanyang noo. “Bakit? May gagawin ka pa ba?”

“Hindi… Kasi…” Napabuntonghininga ako. “Sabi ni Sir, sabay ka na raw sa aming kumain ng lunch sa loob.”

Gaya ng reaksyon ko kanina, nalaglag ang panga ni Joseph. His eyes also went wide open, looking very flustered. “Ha?” tanong niya nang makabawi. “Sigurado ka ba diyan? Baka masisante tayong dalawa, ha, Chantal.”

Mabilis akong umiling. “Sigurado raw siya.”

“At bakit naman niya tayo gusto makasama kumain?”

“Sabi niya kasi sabay na raw kami kumain pero sabi ko hinihintay mo kasi ako kaya ayon…” hindi ko siguradong paliwanag. “Baka gusto niyang may kasama dahil nalulungkot siyang kumain mag-isa!”

“Ikaw lang naman pala! Idadamay mo pa ako!” sabi ni Joseph na para bang napakalaking kasalanan ang ginawa ko. “Sige na. Kahit hindi na tayo sabay kumain. Samahan mo na si Sir Xaiver. Kaya ko naman mag-isa.”

“Ha? Pero—”

“Kaya mo na ‘yan, Chantal!” Tinapik niya ang aking balikat. “Good luck!”

After wishing me luck, Joseph quickly ran away as if he was running for his life. Hindi ko na siya nahabol at mukhang hindi rin naman magpapapilit. Bago pa maubos ang pasensya ni Xaiver dahil sa paghihintay sa akin ay naglakas-loob akong bumalik sa kanyang opisina.

Pagkapasok ko, nakaupo na sa may dining table si Xaiver. His head quickly turned to me when he heard the door open. He tried to take a peek behind me and slightly frowned when he didn’t see Joseph.

“Where’s Joseph?” Xavier curiously asked.

“Nauna na po palang bumaba at bumili ng pagkain,” sagot ko na lang dahil baka mapagalitan pa si Joseph kapag sinabi kong tumanggi siya sa kanyang imbitasyon. “Ako na lang po muna ang sasabay sa inyong kumain, Sir.”

“Oh… Yeah, sure.” Bahagyang umaliwalas ang mukha ni Xaiver.

Tahimik akong naglakad papalapit sa kanya. Medyo nailang pa ako dahil titig na titig siya sa akin. It wasn’t the first time we ate together, but never in his office. Madalas ay kapag nasa labas lang kaming dalawa at inaabutan ng gutom sa daan. I had no idea when his office started looking like an intimate place to me, but I felt like we were having an intimate lunch rendezvous because of the setup. Nakakailang na kaming dalawa lang sa loob ng kanyang opisina para kumain.

Nanginginig ang aking kamay nang hinila ko ang upuan. I uncomfortably settled in front of him, then surveyed the dishes served on the table. Kahit na alam ko na kung ano ang mga pagkain at ako pa ang nag-ayos no’n, hindi ko mapigilan ang tingnan ulit kung ano ang aming kakainin. I kept searching for anything I could busy myself with, so that I wouldn’t have to look at him.

“Do you like steak?” Xaiver suddenly asked.

I snapped my gaze up to him. “Okay lang po.”

Tinagilid ni Xaiver ang kanyang ulo habang titig na titig sa akin. “What’s your favorite food then?”

“Kare-kare.”

“Kare-kare?” ulit niya at sandaling napaisip. “I think I know that. That’s what you ordered when we ate at Bistro, right? Kare-kare.”

Napaawang ang aking mga labi. “Natatandaan mo?”

One corner of his lips lifted when he realized he was right. “Of course, I do,” he proudly replied. “You also ordered lechon kawali and adobong pusit. Ayon ba ang mga paboritong ulam mo?”

Mas lalo akong namangha dahil natatandaan niya pa lahat. Kung hindi niya binanggit ay baka hindi ko pa maalala. I never thought that he would be that attentive. Hinayaan niya lang akong mag-order no’n dahil abala siya sa tawag ng isang kliyente.

“Yes…” nahihiya kong pag-amin.

When Xaiver asked me to order that time, hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong piliin ang mga gusto kong ulam. He also didn’t complain that time, so I was proud that he seemed to like what I got us for dinner.

Xavier nodded at that. “You should ask the cooks to prepare the dishes you like next time.”

“Po?” Ako naman ang napakunot ang noo. Hindi ko alam kung talaga bang naintindihan ko ang sinabi niya o hindi.

Umayos ng upo si Xaiver. He managed to keep my attention locked on him as he leaned forward and stared closely. “I would like us to eat lunch together from now on,” he simply said, but every word that came out from his lips was like a hammer banging my heart hard. “And you should drop the formalities. We’re both in our twenties. Hindi naman gano’n nagkakalayo ang edad natin, ‘di ba?”

Napalunok naman ako. “O-okay po, Sir…”

Xaiver shot his brow up. I immediately realized that I didn’t drop the formalities he wanted me to get rid of.

“I mean… okay.”

Satisfied with the adjustments I did, Xaiver flashed a small smile. Goosebumps once again pricked my skin when I saw that very rare, genuine smile of his. Mukhang hindi talaga ako makakatulog agad nang maayos mamayang gabi.

“Better. I like that,” Xavier simply replied as he kept his smile, oblivious to all the emotions that he made me feel.