Play Pretend

Chapter 13

Formalities

“Xaiver, ano ba?!” I angrily pushed him away with full force. I thought he wouldn’t budge, but his body fell back a little. Bumagsak din ang kanyang ulo at balikat.

I didn’t mean to shout at him. Natatakot ako na baka magalit siya sa akin at masisante ako, but I wasn’t comfortable with his aggressive advancements. Kung tingin niya ay makikisali ako sa laro niya dahil boss ko siya, nagkakamali siya!

Xaiver looked dejected, not until a playful smile touched his lips.

“Pwede bang huwag kang magbiro nang ganyan?” The growing anger inside me stung my eyes with heat. Pinipigilan ko lamang ang sariling tuluyang maiyak dahil sa inis at sa nararamdamang hindi ko maintindihan.

“Until now, huh?” Xaiver licked his lips. “Until now you still think I’m just lying and playing?”

“At ano’ng gusto mong mangyari? Maniwala ako sa ‘yo?” tanong ko, naeeskandalo sa mga sinasabi niya. “Nagbibiro ka man o hindi, marriage isn’t something that should be taken lightly. At least, that’s for me. Kung tingin mo’y laro-laro lang ang pagpapakasal, ikaw ‘yon — huwag mo akong idamay.”

Napakunot ang noo ni Xaiver at nawala ang ngisi sa kanyang mga labi.

Although I was putting my job at risk, wala na akong pakialam. I had to let him see reason dahil baka masyado lang din siyang nape-pressure sa mga nangyayari, and he needed someone to guide him. I had to let him know na hindi tama ang ginagawa o iniisip niya.

Sino’ng baliw ang magpapakasal sa taong hindi niya gusto?

And yes! Alam kong hindi niya naman talaga ako gusto gaya ng sinasabi niya. Gumagawa lang siya ng paraan para mapabilog ako’t mapaniwala na gusto niya nga ako para i-consider ko ang pagpapakasal sa kanya.

Unfortunately for him, I’m not a fool. I’m not like other women who will swoon over him and flock to his feet. I experienced being loved unconditionally by my stepfather. Even if we weren’t biologically related, he loved and cared for me like his real daughter, and I had seen how much he loved my mother when he was still alive.

Since then, I promised myself not to settle for anything less. Bukod sa isinagot ko roon sa survey, I would find a man like my father. I would search for a husband with the same principles he had, especially when it comes to marriage. Hindi katulad ni Xaiver na para bang ang liit-liit ng tingin sa isang sagradong bagay.

Initially, I thought Xaiver would be different from my prejudice toward him. I didn’t want to generalize or treat him as a stereotype, but I guessed he was just the same as the others of his kind. Wala siyang pinagkaiba sa pinsan niya.

I was honestly disappointed.

“Anyway, thanks for taking me home,” sabi ko na lang at itinuloy na ang pagbukas ng pintuan. “Ingat ka.”

Hindi ko na hinayaan pang pigilan niya ulit ako. I got out of his car and marched home as fast as I could. Patindi nang patindi ang iritasyon at pagkadismayang nararamdaman ko bawat paghakbang ko palayo sa kanya. Dumami rin ang mga iniisip ko habang patagal nang patagal.

Pabagsak kong isinara ang pintuan nang makapasok sa bahay. Sa gulat ay agad napalingon sa akin si Mama.

“Chantal?” Tumagilid ang kanyang ulo at may bahid ng pag-aalala ang boses.

“Sorry, Ma. Pahinga na po ako,” paalam ko dahil ayaw kong may mga masabi akong hindi na dapat isatinig pa.

Dama ko ang pagsunod ng tingin sa akin ni Mama. She might be worried about me as well, but I had a lot of things to ponder. Dire-diretso ako sa kuwarto at nang mapag-isa na ay ibinagsak ko ang katawan sa kama.

Ang totoo niyan, hindi ko alam kung paano ko na pakikisamahan si Xaiver matapos ang nangyari. Things were already awkward between us the moment he dropped the same question after we came from the US, what more now?

Hindi ko na alam kung paano ako aakto kapag kasama niya. I wasn’t confident that I could still remain professional after all that. Umaasa na lamang ako na sana ay ma-realize niyang mali ang ginagawa niya.

I was walking on eggshells as I approached his car the day after. Madaming gumugulo sa isipan ko at pagulo iyon nang pagulo habang mas napapalapit ako sa sasakyan.

“Good morning po, Ma’am Chantal.”

Saglit akong napatigil nang madinig ko ang boses ni Manong. I turned my head to him and was surprised to see him on duty. Ni hindi ko napansin pagkalabas ng bahay na nakapasok na ulit siya. I was so focused on training myself how to act in front of Xaiver.

“Manong!” His presence brought me a rush of relief. Agad akong napangiti. Halos yakapin ko siya sa sobrang saya. Mabuti na lamang at napigilan ko ang sarili nang lumapit sa kanya dahil sa naalala. “Akala ko po umuwi kayo sa probinsya ninyo? Magaling na po ba kayo?”

“Uh, eh…” Punong-puno ng pag-aalangan si Manong. Nahuli ko pa siyang sumulyap sa sasakyan bago ngumiti. “Ayos na po ako, Ma’am. Salamat po sa pag-alala.”

Medyo napakunot ang noo ko sa sagot niya. I was about to ask him about his family and supposedly long break, but he quickly went to the car and opened the back seat door.

Napalunok ako nang makita si Xaiver doon. Bumalik ang pinaghalong takot, kaba, at galit. I quietly went inside and stayed on one side.

Malaki ang sasakyan ni Xaiver. The back seat was very spacious. Kasya pa ang dalawang tao kahit nakasakay na kaming dalawa. Ngunit kahit na ganoon ay halos isiksik ko pa rin ang sarili ko sa may pintuan upang hindi malapit sa kanya. Nang napansin ko nga lang na mukhang wala na siyang pakialam sa presensya ko, agad din akong tumigil.

Xaiver didn’t greet me nor glance at me. Kung umakto siya ay parang wala pa rin ako. The aura surrounding him gave me chills. His demeanor brought me back to my first day in the office. He was that quiet and uptight. Parang konting kibot mo lang ay mapapansin niya at talaga namang matatakot ka na magkamali pati sa paghinga.

However, instead of fearing him, I was relieved to receive the cold treatment while ignoring the unwanted emotion knocking inside me. I thought maybe he finally realized how wrong and foolish he was these past few days. Na baka naisip niyang tama ako at mali ang ginagawa niya kaya bumalik na ulit kami sa dati upang makapagsimula ulit.

“What time’s the interview with Entrepreneur again?” Xaiver broke the silence to ask when we were inside the elevator.

“In about an hour…” Sir, pigil kong idagdag. “Nag-message na sila sa akin. They’re already on their way. I’ll meet them at the lobby at sasamahan ko na rin sila sa conference room.”

The interview and photoshoot were planned to be held at the conference. They opted for an office photoshoot for Xaiver instead of doing it at a studio.

“Okay,” tipid niyang sabi saka nauna nang lumabas ng elevator nang bumukas iyon.

I followed him right away. Dire-diretso ang kanyang lakad papunta sa opisina. Nabitin pa ang pagbati sa kanya ni Joseph nang makaramdam na hindi maganda ang mood niya.

“Ano’ng ginawa mo?” mapag-akusang tanong ni Joseph sa akin. “Nag-away ba kayo? Inaway mo?”

Nag-away? Inaway ko? I was just telling him my two cents!

“Hindi. Bakit naman kami mag-aaway?” Naupo ako sa aking lamesa at binuksan na ang computer. “Ganyan naman talaga siya minsan, ‘di ba?”

Naningkit ang mga mata ni Joseph sa akin. He didn’t seem to buy my answer, but fortunately, he didn’t press any further. I didn’t want to go into any details.

Mabilis na dumaan ang oras. Thirty minutes later, the Entrepreneur team finally arrived. Gaya ng plano, sinundo ko sila sa lobby. I assisted them inside the conference room at tumulong na rin sa pag-aayos ng setup. They placed big lights used in photo studios and did test shots right after. Nagpa-practice din ang mag-i-interview kay Xaiver upang makasiguradong magiging maayos ang flow ng interview.

“Good morning, Mr. Dela Vega!”

“Good morning, Sir!”

“It’s a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Dela Vega.”

“Again, we’re more than grateful and happy that you accepted our invitation to feature you in our upcoming issue.”

Sunod-sunod silang bumati kay Xaiver pagkapasok na pagkapasok sa conference room. Kinamayan niya ang Editor-in-Chief, Creative Director, photographer, and interviewer.

Tipid na ngumiti si Xaiver sa lahat. “The pleasure is also mine.”

Since they all didn’t want to waste time, we started the interview right away. Hindi pa nila kailangang ayusan si Xaiver dahil mauuna naman ang interview. Mayroon din kasi silang inihandang three-piece suit na susuotin para doon.

Walang kahirap-hirap na sumagot si Xaiver sa mga katanungang ibinabato sa kanya. I guessed it helped na na-rehearse na nila ‘yon noong isang araw, but I also knew Xaiver didn’t need the handicap to answer well. He’s very wise and eloquent. Lalo na pagdating sa business, hinding-hindi siya papalya.

“Moving on to the lighter part of the interview, why don’t we talk about something personal?” The interviewer shifted the conversation after all the parade of business questions.

Napaayos ako ng tayo nang magsimula ang interviewer. I knew the main question included on the part. Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko at hindi na mapakali sa kung ano man ang isasagot ni Xaiver sa tanong na nakahain.

“It is well known that you are still a bachelor and right of age. Everyone’s curious whether or not you are seeing someone at the moment. I wonder if you can share the light with us regarding that matter.”

Xaiver licked his lower lip and showed a small grin. “Well, it’s true that I’m a bachelor. It’s also a fact that I’m already right of age. However, unfortunately, I have yet to start dating someone,” he answered, then his eyes drifted to me. “On another note, I’m ready to get married.”

Napasinghap ako kasabay ng ilang mga staff na nakarinig ng sagot niya. The interviewer and editor-in-chief’s eyes lit up. They knew they hit the jackpot after getting that answer from Xaiver. Hindi na ako magugulat kung ayon ang magiging highlight ng issue. It would be a nice bait for the curious minds aka mga chismosa.

“Oh! That’s news!” She exclaimed. “I assume all bachelorettes are eyeing the position as Mrs. Dela Vega.”

Ngumuso si Xaiver, nakatitig pa rin sa akin. “I don’t think so.”

Napaayos ng upo ang interviewer. Xaiver’s answer piqued her interest even more. “What made you say so?”

“It’s the reality that not everyone likes me,” he said meaningfully. “In fact, someone just refused my proposal….”

I swallowed hard and turned my eyes away from him. Madiin na ang pagkagat ko sa labi upang mapigilan ang sariling mag-react o magsalita sa mga sinasabi niya. Ayaw kong isipin ng mga tao rito na may namamagitan sa amin kaya kailangan kong kimkimin.

“Oh…” Kahit na tunog dismayado, mas lalong nanaig ang kuryosidad ng nag-i-interview. She was already on the edge of her seat, leaning forward to Xaiver. “Well, that’s a surprise. I never thought it’s possible for someone to reject Xaiver Dela Vega, more so turn down his marriage proposal.”

Sa gilid ng aking mga mata, kita ko ang pilyong pag nguso ni Xaiver. Tila ba para talaga siyang nang-iinis. Gustong-gusto niyang patamaan ako at hindi ako makailag kahit na ano’ng gawin.

Ano ba ang gusto niyang mangyari? Does he think I will submit to him and agree to his craziness after testing my patience? Baliktad ang isip niya kung gano’n! He might have a very high IQ, but he clearly lacked EQ.

“I guess it’s because we have different views about life and marriage?” he answered, sounding unsure. “Or she just simply doesn’t like me back?”

Mas lalong hindi makapaniwala ang mga nakarinig ng sagot niya. Gustong-gusto ko ng umalis at mag-walk out. Kating-kati na akong talikuran siya, but at the same time, I wanted so badly to scream at him, no matter if it would cost me my job. I felt like he was playing with me, and I didn’t like that feeling.

Sa mga naririnig at nakikita kong reaksyon mula sa ibang tao, wala akong magawa kung hindi ang makaramdam ng awa sa sarili. I felt bad. It all seemed to me like they were rooting for him. Para bang wala akong karapatang tanggihan siya dahil sa kanyang estado sa buhay at pangalan. Para bang imposibleng hindi mo siya magustuhan. Para bang katangahan ang gawin ang ginawa ko.

I might be overthinking things or simply throwing myself a pity party in other people's views, but that was what I felt at the moment. And to be honest, it sucked a lot.

“Thank you so much again, Mr. Dela Vega,” muling pasasalamat ng editor-in-chief matapos ang interview at photoshoot. “I can already see that this upcoming issue featuring you and your company will surely top the sales.”

“No problem. I’m also honored to be featured in one of the most widely known magazines worldwide. This opportunity will help boost my company and our brand,” Xaiver replied in courtesy.

Nagpasalamat din sa akin ang mga staff, lalo na ang secretary ng editor-in-chief na siyang kaukausap ko mula pa no’ng umpisa. They invited us for dinner at the five-star hotel where they were staying, but Xaiver politely declined their invitation. Ang sabi niya ay may dinner meeting pa siya pero alam kong gawa-gawa niya lang ‘yon.

“Mr. Dela Vega.”

Lumapit ang creative director kay Xaiver. Since my attention was on her, I couldn’t help notice her physical attributes. The woman was gorgeous with that long, straight blonde hair and hourglass figure.

Napanguso ako lalo na nang makita ko ang paglapat ng kanyang kamay sa braso ni Xaiver who was oblivious to her touch. She was staring and smiling at him with a sultry look, suggesting something as she started caressing his arm. Kitang-kita ko ang dahan-dahan na paggalaw ng kanyang kamay. Hindi ko nga lang narinig ang pinag-uusapan nila dahil mahina ang boses ng babae kaya naman kung ano-ano ang pumasok sa isipan ko.

That’s none of your concern anymore, Chantal!

Pagkasuway ko sa sarili ay iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanila. Lumapit ako sa ibang mga staff upang mapasalamatan din hanggang sa nakarating ako sa photographer.

“Thank you, too,” agap niya sabay hawak ng aking kamay. His eyes were all on me, making me feel slightly comfortable. “Do you have plans to be a model, miss?”

Napaawang saglit ang aking mga labi bago ko iyon mabilis na tinikom. I tried to get my hand back, but he pulled me gently in response.

“If you need extra cash, you can hit me up.” Habang hawak ang aking kamay, bumunot siya ng calling card gamit ang isa pang kamay saka inilapag ang card sa palad ko. “I know a lot of international brands who will want to work with a beaut like you. You can be a model. You have a bright future ahead of you with your looks.”

“She’s not interested.”

Bago pa ako makatanggi ay naunahan na ako ni Xaiver. His eyes were dark and dangerous when I turned to him. Nang makalapit siya nang tuluyan ay binawi niya ang kamay ko mula sa photographer.

“Oh… I’m sorry,” medyo naiilang na sabi ng photographer kay Xaiver saka lumingon sa akin. “Excuse me. I’ll just double check my equipment. It’s nice meeting you.”

Sinundan ko ng tingin ang photographer. Nagmamadali siyang makalayo sa aming dalawa ni Xaiver.

“Sir Xaiver.”

Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Joseph na siya namang kakarating lang sa loob ng conference room.

“Please assist the team. Ikaw na ang bahala sa kanila. Mag-uusap lang kami ni Chantal sa office ko,” utos ni Xaiver.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. “Huwag na! Ako na lang. That’s my job, Xaiver.”

“Your job is to do as I say, Chantal,” ani Xaiver sa malamig na boses at agad akong kinilabutan. “Now, you’ll return with me to the office, and we will talk.”

Kinagat ko ang aking labi at kinuyom ang kamao. Hindi ako makaangal dahil ayon naman talaga ang trabaho ko.

“Okay, Sir. Masusunod po,” I eventually said, bringing back the formalities between us as I should.