I FOUND LOVE IN PORTSMOUTH

People call me cubby Nora when I was a kid. My mom loves to feed me, and I love to eat. My dad is a chef in a five stars restaurant. He brings us yummy foods almost every day from the restaurant where he works. I grew up in a very happy family.  My dad will go to work early in the morning after I off to school and come back at midnight. But, he never fails to bring me to the nearby beach to play and have a little picnic with mom and my brothers. O, yeah. I do have brothers. 4 handsome and strong brothers. They all are great chef now. They follow daddy's path. While me, I wanted to be an activist since I was at secondary school. I wanted to be like Mom.  My mom, she is kind women with a very strong character. She leads one of the most famous women organisation in town. She teaches kids for free, providing counselling for women and many more. she always brings me where ever she goes. she told me I am the quietest child when I was baby. because I never cried when she brings me into different-different places. I love to hear my parents bad times stories. From fairytales into their childhood life. It makes me sleeps faster and make me wanted to dream more and be more. Me and my brothers having quiet long age gap. my last brothers are 7 years apart. I am the youngest and the only girl in the family. My brothers were at school most of the time. That's why mom never leave me alone if she goes. My brothers choose to stay in another city while I have to stay with my mom. They choose to married early while I choose to study. Dad passed away 5 years ago. Due to the illness. He has holes on his lungs. He is an active smoker. There is no day without smoke in our house when Dad is around.  one day ask him to quit but instead, he scolds me like I am not his child.  I sad "Dad, can you quit smoking? don't you know it's dangerous for your health and us?" "Who the hell are you thinking, you are? you kid don't know anything." "I know I am a kid but......" "Get out of my house if you want me to quit smoking!!!" My dad never gets angry with me. That's the first time to raise his voice over me. He is a hilarious guy with lots of jokes to share every day. Now, he is gone. The air in the house is clearer but there is no more his love and laughter. No more free yummy food from five stars restaurant. Only me and mom in the house. She reduces her activism activity. She tries to open a small bakery with little saving that we have. She is a good baker and she always gives free of her baking goods for everyone in needs. Of course, dad some savings, but it doesn't leave much. We use some of them for his hospital fees, he was in the hospital before he died for about 4 months. With only him as our main backbone, it's difficult for us to maintain everything that time. mom quit activism to take care of dad. I can't do much at that time as I still at high school.  At school, I join lots of activities. as told earlier, I wanted to be an activist like mom. so, when dad hospitalised. I have to split my time for study, activities and take care of the house. I have to cook for myself, clean the house and laundry. Mom, choose to eat the hospital canteen as the hospital is not near from our house. We don't have a car, only a motorbike that only dad can ride. I will visit them on Sunday, and brings mom and dad dirty laundry and change with the clean ones. It is exhausting, but we have hope for dad. We wanted dad to be healthy again. whenever I visit them at the hospital on Sunday, I always saw a beautiful smile in mom and dad faces. eyes that spark hopes, makes me cried. I pray to God, I don't want to lose them. I wanted my dad to be healthy again.  Dad lays at the hospital bad helplessly but still smiling as always, "Nora my dear, how was school?'' ask dad  ''Awesome, Dad. I am going to a math competition next week." "That's great my dear. Study well okay." "Okee dokee, Daddy... I love you" I hug my dad and kiss him on his cheek. His skin starts to loosen. He is getting thinner and thinner every day. I hold my tears, I don't want him to see me cry.  "I love you too my sweet baby doll."  He rubs my hair, and it's brought me the memory back. He used to rub my hair before I go to school early in the morning before He completely woke up. I just feel his rough palm on my hairs and cheek, with eyes slightly open he kissed me and never see him again until next morning with the same routine, as he came back from work very late. He wants me to do good at school, He expects me to be a math teacher. He always happy if I join Math competition. I didn't tell him there is some amount of money to wins. I wanted to surprise him and bought him his favourite dessert. I study hard, as I promised my self I wanted to make my dad proud and happy so that he can recover fast. As the doctor told me, there is a chance for my dad to live longer if he is happy. I knew my dad is a very happy person, and if I make him happy, I believe he will be happier. The math competition held on Friday morning, with lots of smart students from the other school. I felt a bit nervous. I called mom and dad to cheer me up and boost my confidence. There were only 40 questions, but it"s feels like 400 questions. I try my best to focus and do the paper as best as I can. I make sure I recheck every question before I held it to the judges. The results will be announced tomorrow afternoon. I went home directly after the competition. I called mom and dad again and went to sleep. as it was already late after I clean the house, laundry and shower. And the result is out on Saturday afternoon. They called my name as the first winner. I didn't my dad since morning because I don't want him to be disappointed if I fail wanted to give Him a surprise if I won. And I won.. I run to the dessert shop. I take the bus to go to the hospital and surprise my dad. I reached the Hospital and found my dad's room was locked, I saw from the glass holes at the door, there were nurses and doctors around him. I tried, to go in but they stop me. I look for my mom and she just came back from the toilet. Her face looks pale. I didn't see hope anymore in her eyes. ''Mom, what happened with dad?" She didn't answer. "Is everything okay?" Before she answers a doctor comes out from dad's room.  " Ma'am, I am sorry" and he went off My mom fainted, I drop everything I hold to catch her. I broke down. I lost my dad, forever. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------