After high school

Goodbye Ex I blinked.. Twice. I blinked again, the tears won't go away. It blurred my sight. I drew yet another tissue and blew hard into it. The pain in my head spiked. I glanced at my screen once again. His response shook my core. "But why, Lola?" it read Why? I don't actually know why.Or maybe I do. *** Adolf had been my boyfriend for a year and 4 months. Had? Yes had. I just broke up with him. He was a very sweet soul. You would then wonder how it all got to this... . So, Adolf and I where high school mates. It was hatred at first sight I must say. He moved into my school in senior year. He was very bright, I was too. This must have stirred up the hate to some extent. Things happened rather slowly which contributes to the fact that I remember when it all started.It was at the bonfire. I guess not seeing me in uniforms and with a little glow up kind of brought his attention to me. Adolf was a good guy beyond doubts, smart, tall and handsome. He wasn't much of a wordy person, almost antisocial. He loved playing the piano but hated sports. As most high school romance was, so was ours. We would stare at each other during classes, grab lunch together, wait behind after closing hours just to walk home alone together and sometimes I would sneak to his house. Don't get it twisted, he couldn't come to mine because my mom was the school's bursar... He dreads her. It was all rosy. But then senior year started rounding off. Reality dawned on me. We could not always be together. My heart twisted at the taught. He planned to apply for a scholarship into Yale to study computing. On the other hand, I completely had my head set on Windsor . My mother attended that same college. She basically grew up there. As much as I tried to shake off the feeling, it continually gnawed at me. College would create a distance between us and I couldn't just invest so much of my emotions into this if I was not to sure of what the outcome might be. The day finally came, our graduation day. I was dressed to kill, no doubt. As the ceremony progressed I couldn't help but think about him. "Winters Lola," my name echoed in the hall and suddenly the silence was immediately replaced by a deafening applause. My friend, Diana, who sat on my left nugded me to get up. I stood up unsure of what was happening. I saw my mother bubbling excitedly from far back. Then I looked towards the principal, beaming with smiles. I believe the audience must have mistaken my confused expression as shock. I walked quite unsteadily to the podium and collected the plaque from the principal. It read " best graduand of the year". I let out a sigh and smiled. I did it again! I looked over to my left, and Adolf was there just smiling with so much pride. It tore and warmed my heart at the same time. The ceremony finally came to a close. It was a bittersweet experience for me. I began reflecting on whole event and giggled at how I lost one funny game "what are thinking about?," his voice startled me. I had almost forgotten that be was beside me. We were taking a walk in the far back of the schools garden. It was very quiet. "just some random thought." I replied and smiled. He was looking at me. " Adolf?.. ' I began. He turned, his eyes holding mine. He had never really looked me in the eye before. It was intense. I forgot what I was about to say and paused. " yes? " his voice was cool and calm , sending a chill down my spine. I don't know how Long it was but we just stared. Then I felt it. His lips brushed over mine. A very brief contact. He leaned in again, more intentional this time. He grabbed both my hands that I desperately held to my sides. He pressed his lips softly on mine. "This is happening". My heart raced. It wasn't intense but it was something. My first kiss! *** I winced from the sudden sharp pain. I slowly stood up from the crouching position I had been all the while I was crying. My leg hurt. I had just ended it with whom I supposed to be the love of my life. I knew it couldn't work. I was so sure. We were both so young. "I made the write decision, it's best we ended things this way" I muttered. ..... Windsor College I stood in my closet starring at my unzipped empty luggage. I didn't really know what to pack. I've never lived away from home. And now I have to travel to another country for college. I've always been tied to my mom. She even put me in the same college she was working at . I believe it was their plot to always monitor me. When I say "their" I mean my parents. It was shocking even to me that I actually did get into Windsor University . Yes, I really wanted to get in, but still I didn't raise my hopes too high for the fear of getting overly disappointed. I had only been to Canada once while I was a kid. We had gone for a certain Christmas. I don't remember much about the place nor my aunt. I have only just been riled with tales by my mom ever since I got in. I am the only child of my parents. I know they have been trying to have more children. Although it is a subject nobody is permitted to touch, or more specifically - me. "It's not God's plan" that was something I always told myself. Since there was none other but me, all eyes are always on me. There are very high expectations of me. Sometimes I wonder what they would have done if I was a dull kid. I do not hate my parents. I love them. But at this stage of my life, I don't love them that much, which is understandable. I'm sixteen. My parents raised me in a very Godly way, so to say. My dad is a preacher. This lifestyle is something I easily blend into. I could almost recite most scriptures from my sleep. But deep down I didn't want this. I didn't want to be a preacher. I didn't want to see the word through my parents lenses. I wanted to do things my age. Not being locked up in the world of my parents. Then slowly I began to feel it. "this might me be it," I said out loud and grinned. "what might be?" I had just become aware of my mom's presence in the room . She had been standing at the doorway. "what might be, lola?" she inquired with that annoying calm expression on her face which I had grown to dislike. "I just remembered something, mum, it's nothing serious, for how long have you been standing there?" I asked quickly killing out her curiosity " not long, come to the living room once you finish packing, your father and I would like to speak to you" she said and then left. I saw this coming. We would definitely have this conversation. My previous reel of thoughts continued. This might be an opportunity to finally live the life I've always dreamed of. Yes, this is it. The excitement rushed in. I quickly started stuffing things into my bag without hesitation. I took one dry look at the Bible sitting on my bed shelf. I sighed, picked it up added it to my luggage. Besides my mom would let all hells loose if she found that I left it behind. Just beneath my Bible I saw the card. It was the birthday card that Adolf had give to me. I picked it up to reread. I could almost repeat the words in my sleep, It read: "Lola. The day we met reads like the first line of my favorite story — I didn’t know it then, but the plot had already changed. You struck me like sudden sunlight through storm clouds: unexpected, warm, impossible to look away from. Since that first moment you’ve fascinated me in a thousand quiet ways. If I get one wish today, it’s this... " "Lola!" oops, I almost forgot. My mom hates being kept waiting. I dropped the card and scurried out of my room completing his words in my head. "... To be forever beside you, turning every ordinary day into our next chapter. Happy birthday Lulu I love you." .... Home The sun hit me directly on the face as I highlighted from the bus as if venting all its anger on me. I quickly put on my face cap and took in my vicinity . "I swallowed hard. This wasn't what I expected. The streets were loud and bustly. Every corner looked so tattered. I walked to a shop and stood directly under its shade, brought out my phone and re-read the address that had earlier been sent by my aunt. Just then a cab pulled over in front of me. I showed him the address and got in. Roughly 40 minutes later. It pulled to a stop in front of an old black rusty gate . I looked out the window and saw my aunt. She was already standing outside waiting for me. Just then she caught sight of me and her whole expression changed. She began beaming with smiles. It was almost like I was seeing my mom, the resemblance was just too striking. "Lola!" she squealed, ran over towards my direction and opened the door I was sitting next to. I hadn't completely got out when she wrapped her arms tightly around me, suffocating me in her embrace. It almost felt like home. I loved her on instant. *** "hmm... Perfect," I had just finished arranging the guest's room to my taste. This would be my room for the next four years of my life. I stared at the photo I had just hung on the wall. It was taken last summer. My mom, dad and I laughing hard on the beach. It all looked so blissful. My reel of thoughts got interrupted by the sound of my phone. It was a message from Adolf. I nervously opened it. "your mum just informed me that you arrived. I wish you the best, lulu," it was the name he fondly called me while we were still dating. As it seemed, my Aunt Mira must have already informed my mom of my arrival. I dropped my home on the bed and walked out of the room. The house was small, but neat. Upon getting to the kitchen, I saw my aunt serving food on the table, some mashed potato and eggs. Having heard my footsteps she looked over her shoulder towards my direction. "you're here, great! I was just about to call you to come have dinner," I smiled and nodded. I sat on the rear seat at the table. She placed a plate o front of me and began dishing me food. "How have you been, Lola, you look so grown. I can barely recognize you, how's your mum and dad. my gosh! You are so pretty...." Yes I forgot to mention, my mum did say her sister was talkative. *** I adjusted my face cap. I had been doing that a lot all afternoon. I must have been very nervous. I propped my backpack with my elbow as I pushed through the crowd. I had expected to see a lot of people but not this many! Finally it was my turn. I stood in front of the clearance officer and presented all my files. The man, who I presumed to be in his early mid 30's, scrutinized my figure through his glasses. I shrunk in. He took a close look at each of my documents as if deliberately searching for faults. After what seemed like hours he looked up from his desk. He stared at me in a way that made me uncomfortable. "you can pass," he finally spoke and as if being, pursued I walked hurriedly out of the office. In a fleeting second, all my books were on the floor and some others I didn't recognize. Dumbfounded, I looked up and saw her. She was about my height, long thick black hair, darkskinned and brown eyes. "I... I.. I'm so so sorry.... I didn't see you coming" she stuttered. "it's fine, I also didn't see," I responded We bent down to pick the books. Keisha - I caught the name written with red ink on her diary. I smiled at her and she smiled back. "Are you new here too?" she asked, "yeah," I wasn't one to talk much especially to strangers. But for some unknown reasons, she drew me in. "I am looking for the registrar's office, do you know were it is?" she asked while flipping the pages of her note at the same time adjusting her blouse with her elbow. She was clumsy. " I don't know, but I was heading that way too," I responded. "nice, let's find it together!" she pulled me along hurriedly. And there I was, walking with this beautiful stranger as if we'd known for ages. I guess I had found a friend after all. The day went by pretty quickly. Keisha and I happened to be neighbors, so we decided to ride home together. We chatted away while waiting for the bus. That was when I caught sight of his back and strangely I kept staring till he dissappeared into one of the blocks. ...... First day I was unsure for a few seconds on who to choose. I observed the two individuals who stood in front of the class. The one was a girl, stiff on the face and the other was him. I then took one look at the small card I had been given alongside others. I picked up my crystalline ballpoint pen which Adolf had got me just before my last high school exams, I still cherish it. I scribbled on the card and walked forward to drop it in the ballot. Upon getting close to him, I perceived his scent. His cologne was tender, but sweet. He seemed so absent minded like he didn't even want to be here. I turned around, taking my steps as they came. I caught sight of Keisha mouthing something to me from behind where she sat. I didn't quite catch it but it sounded like she was talking about blood. Blood? " ohh shoot! I halted in my tracks. It was then I felt the wetness. " Miss ? " the professor called out to me with squinted eyes." You okay? " the class grew silent. "Ye... Yes.. S... sir.." I felt blood rush to my cheeks.. I hurriedly pulled my sweater down with both my palms. "May I be excused sir?" I asked "yes, you may." he looked puzzled. I scurried out of the class, holding down my sweater tightly behind me. I caught sight of him by the door giving me one quizzy look as I ran out. I kept running down the hallway, receiving stares at different points. I finally found the washroom. I went in and shut the door tightly behind me. How on earth did I miscount? I looked through the mirror at my stained dress. "s**t, how could this be happening to me on my first day?" I felt so embarrassed. Just then Keisha walked in. She took out a substance from her pocket and passed it to me " you are lucky I always have a tampon I'm my bag. Here, have it" she smiled. I stared at her in disbelief "c'mon don't be so tensed, it's happened to everyone" she smiled reassuring "the whole class saw!" I screamed in disbelief. "hush, maybe not the whole class... And what if it was. I mean your just a girl, " she rolled her eyes as she spoke. "Now go change, and let's leave" I nodded in response and complied . *** The day moved slowly, I took a quick look at my wristwatch . Just one more hour till I bolt for home. Just then. I heard someone giggle behind me. I froze! "Were they mocking me? " I thought to myself. I heard it again, she giggled louder this time. "Anything funny, Miss Grey?" the history teacher asked her with a disgusted look on her face. "no, I apologize," she replied in what I took to be an annoying tone. The teacher nodded and proceeded with her lesson. The giggles didn't stop. It had now reduced to snickers. It was really distracting me as whoever it was was directly behind me. I planned to endure till the class was over, but it was beginning to get on my nerves. I turned around sharply as if driven my a sudden force to caution whoever it was that wouldn't stop laughing. It was Miley. I caught her name earlier. The boys wouldn't just stop calling her all, she seemed to be very much popular. And there he was also, he sat behind her. He leaned forward so that he was very closed to her. He was whispering something in her ears which made her giggle. He raised his head to look at me. The boredom very evident on his face. His gaze was of one who wanted to scare off someone. I gazed back hard. He then squinted and raised his eyebrows. He stared daggers into me. I kept the same energy. "Miss Winters?" the teacher must have noticed the little scenario. "would you perhaps like to enlighten the class about what I just explained." she was strict! "I'm sorry I wasn't really following," I confessed. "of course you weren't, well, too bad that you would have to observe detention ". Wait what.... My brain tried to catch up. I had just got punished on my first day! "I.. I wasn't..." I tried to explain. "that wouldn't be necessary Miss Winters, it's been decided." she cut me off. "Alongside your accomplices, make sure you three report to the detention room." And just like that I had implicated myself, the class belle and the guy I presumed to be very dangerous. What a memorable first day ! ...... Detention I hissed in frustration and erased my drawing for the third time. I looked at my watch It was 3:30pm already, I should have been home by now . I looked over to my far left, he was there unbothered. He hadn't even picked up his pencil for a minute. "Again?" Miley screamed in frustration. She had gone forward to submit at two different intervals and had been asked to redraw. She stomped back to her seat panting like she had ran a mile. She didn't forget to send me a death stare just before walking past me. I'm still surprised at how I managed to secure a position in the black list of two people already. I looked back at my sheet which had become blank again. We were asked to draw any thing that we were intrigued by in nature. Most people had already drawn and left the detention hall. Drawing was something that I just couldn't do, especially not without a reference image. After about what seemed like hours, I finally drew something worthy of being discharged. Keisha was waiting for me by the exit. She was sitting on one of the benches munching chips, scrolling through her phone and giggling. It warmed my heart a little. "pretty hard day huh?" she said as she passed me a water can. "you bet!" I replied as I grabbed the water. I gulped down about half of the container before sitting down beside her. "so while you were away I surveyed the vicinity, I think I'll be joining cheerleading," "why?" I asked between sips looking away from her towards the direction of the detention exit. "well... from my findings, it's kind of an exquisite club. Coupled with... I'll get to meet a lot of popular people and also get close with Trev..." the rest of her words evaporated as soon as he walked out. Almost immediately he saw me, his eyes locked mine. His gaze burned me. I choked on my water. " Tate! " a ginger haired muscular boy who I recognize from class called out. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked away from my direction towards the ginger haired guy. "Ohh my gosh,... that's Trevor, the ginger one!" Kiesha squealed from behind me. "been looking for you man," he continued. They were now standing up close, conversing in low tones. I couldn't decipher what they were saying. It seemed to be serious. After a few minutes they both walked away. So his name was Tate, I said in my mind as I watched them walk away. I looked back at my friend, Keisha. She was still ranting about her cheerleading fantasy. She definitely had missed the little scenario just now. Just then my phone began ringing . I unzipped my bag which had been on my lap and brought out my phone. I looked at the caller ID, it was my aunt. I accepted the call wondering what it was about. "hello, Lola," her voice shook from the other end. I instantly became worried. I sat up straight. Keisha slowed down on chewing and looked at me. "what's wrong aunt,"I responded. " can you come back to the house now, "she asked. " what's the matter, did something happen?" I queried further. Keisha had completely stopped chewing this time, she shifted closer to me. " just come home," she breathed in response. This wasn't right. My head spun. What could the matter be. Keisha was saying something. I couldn't hear her, couldn't hear anything, I dreaded the worse. Did my parents die? Did the house get burnt?. My thoughts flooded. As if driven by sudden impulse, I got up from my seat, strapped my backpack on my shoulder and started walking off. I felt a hand grab my bag almost making me loose my balance . I looked to back see Keisha panting. She had been running to catch up with me. "what happened ?" she asked, her eyes wide with worry "I don't know," came my response. " it's my aunt, I think something bad happened. I gotta go." "shoot! I would love to go with to make sure everything's okay but but today is tryouts and I can't miss, else I won't get in," she hurried her words as if afraid I wouldn't let her speak. I had no idea about what she was talking about but I was just too agitated to verify. I nodded in response "I hope it'll be nothing serious," she said. But judging by my aunt's voice over the phone, it was definitely something serious. "yeah, sure" I replied. "Bye, lola" she smiled at me. I forced a smile back then I turned around and left. ..... How dare him! The room was silent apart from the sound of the monitor which kept beeping. I watched my dad as he lay, he was still unconscious. I have been watching him this way every minute for 2 days now. The doctor kept reassuring us that he would wake up. I could not but pray and hope. My mom wasn't back yet. She left to get breakfast for us both. Soon enough the nurse walked in. "good morning Lola, how's it going?" she asked with a smile. It seemed to be her hobby. I simply smiled back. She proceeded to my father's bed side and began performing the medical rituals. She left after about 5 minutes not before asking if I needed anything. I walked towards the center table and picked up my phone. The amount of notifications was alarming, majority of the calls and texts where from Keisha. She was worried. I immediately called her back. "Lola!" she screamed from the other end. "I have been so scared, I heard about your Dad, your aunt wouldn't give me the details, how is he now?" "he got hit by a truck, still unconscious," my chest tightened as I spoke. I hadn't realized for how long I had been crying. "the doctor's said he might not walk again." "ohh my God..." she went silent for a while. "I wish I was there L," she finally spoke. "I know... I know," and truly I knew. *** I looked out my window. The streets of Ontario hadn't changed. The past weeks have been chaotic. I had been trying to keep up with school ever since my father's accident. It distabilized me. I just needed to breath. My dad woke up after 3 and half days in coma. It was a huge relief for everyone. I really wished I stayed with him longer, but they insisted I went back to school. They were right it would be worse to have a drop out and a handicap in one house. I closed my eyes and let it all flow. "we're here ma'am," the driver spoke peeking at me from the rearview mirror as he pulled over. I quickly wiped my tears with the back of my sweater. I love sweaters. I paid him and got out ignoring his pitiful stare. I took a deep breath and walked with the others into the school gate. Upon getting to class lectures were already ongoing. "you're late!" it was the same lecturer who had served me detention on my first day. I really didn't have energy left to deal with her this morning. I just hoped she will let me off. "why are you late ?" she was definitely requesting an explanation. " I had a hospital emergency,"I answered . I was surprised at how smoothly I lied on the instant. She squinted her eyebrows as if weighing my excuse. "go in and have your seat," she urged me. Keisha waved at me from behind signaling me to come over. An empty chair was beside her, she had reserved it for me. I sat down and brought out my jotter. "hospital emergency huhhh?" she winked at me and I chuckled. The lecture seemed to have gone far. I gestured for her to pass me her note. She rolled her eyes and showed me her blank sheet, which was very typical of her. I then looked to my left to ask whoever it was sitting there - Tate! I had almost completely forgotten about him. He seemed to be very attentive to whatever the teacher was saying. He was spinning his pen between his fingers, it seemed like a hobby. He wore a black sweater with a hood. "Noticing something amusing Winters ?" his voice was calm and low. He then turned to look at me, locking his eyes in mine. My eyes widened. He narrowed his eyes at me as if demanding for a response. "I wanted to borrow your note," I whispered so as not to draw the attention of the teacher. Then he turned his whole body in a way that he now completely faced my direction. "and why would I do that winters?" I took note of how he kept calling my surname. Just then the bell rang. I heard the lecturer say something about finishing up the topic on the next class and she left . Tate was still holding my gaze. I began to feel tensed. "hey, let's go," Keisha tapped me. I broke my eyes off him and hurriedly stuffed my notes in my bag. I stood up and followed her not looking back for even one second . When we got out into the hallway, I could feel Keisha's eyes burn through my skin. " spill... " I knew she what she was going to say already . "okay... That was something... Like what! Seems someone's got his eyes on you," she bubbled in excitement "oh please," I rolled my eyes. She kept reeling off about how she thought we would make a perfect couple. God! I'm so done with her. I thought to myself We got to the school canteen. It was crowded as usual. While waiting in line, Tate walked in and walked up front to the lady in the front row. He whispered a few words to her which made her smile and placed his order ignoring the queue. No one noticed, they were all carried away in their conversations. I hated his arrogance. He took his tray and began walking back in our direction. He winked when he at me when he got closer. I felt his hand brush mine as he walked past us. I opened my palm to see what he had stuffed in it. It was a note. "stop staring," it read. How dare he! I blushed hard in embarrassment.