Not Mine

5

My heart was pounding in my chest. To say I was scared was an understatement.

A part of me thought this would go really badly but at the same time, I knew Oscar. I have known him for a long time and a part of me feels like he'll understand and will be upset but probably already sees it coming.

I didn't think breaking up with him should be hard after what he's done but it was. Maybe it was because we had always been good friends or because I truly did have feelings for him but it was hurting me.

I could feel my chest aching and the closer I got to his door, the more I could feel tears prickling up in my eyes and getting ready to leave.

I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat and knocked on his door before I could chicken out.

I nervously tapped on the ground with my foot and waited impatiently for the door to open.

"Ven," he exhaled when he opened the door. I couldn't tell if he was relived, happy, sad, or mad. His face was blank. "You're here." He stated as if he didn't believe it.

I nodded and looked anywhere but at him, "Can we talk, please? I have to get going soon." It was partially a lie. I didn't have anywhere to go, I just didn't want to stay here long.

He slowly nodded his head and let me in, "You haven't answered my phone calls or texts."

"My phone has been off." I told him which was another partial lie. It was for a while but I had to turn it on because I needed to talk to Ellington after I told Galen and Angelo last night.

I finally looked at him. There was a blue bruise forming by his eye, "What happened?" I couldn't help but ask. I can't just stop caring for him, that easily.

He cleared his throat, "Your brother happened." He muttered bluntly. His gaze felt cold on me and his jaw was clenched but I could easily tell that he was trying to control his anger right now.

"I'm sorry," I muttered and then looked away with nothing else to say.

"I deserved it," his voice was hesitant when he said this. I could tell he wasn't sure if he meant this or not. "I shouldn't have hit you and I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you but you wouldn't answer my calls but I am sorry." He was looking at my cheek.

"Oscar," I ignored what he said, having nothing to say to that. "We have to break up." And then I looked at him, my face straight. There was no way to make this easier. 

"What?" His eyes narrowed as he looked at me in disbelief like this was the last thing he would expect. 

"You know it's what the right thing to do is. Don't make this harder than it has to be." I said slowly. I could feel my eyes starting to pool up with tears which I couldn't control. It really was the right thing to do. 

Not only did I know my whole heart wasn't with Oscar, I could no longer trust him. This whole time standing here I was afraid - afraid of how he would react, afraid he would lash out. That's not a relationship you want to be in. 

"Venezia..."

"No Oscar, I'm sorry it had to be like this, I really am but what happened happened and you and I both know that this isn't going to work out." I looked down at the ground, afraid to see his gaze. 

And then, the last thing I would've ever expected happened.

He slapped me.

"Get out." He voice was the coldest and angriest I had ever heard it. "After all we've been though, you couldn't give me another chance. Just get out."

And so, I ran out of his apartment with tears streaming down my face as I held a hand to my burning and throbbing cheek.

I should've listened to Ellington. I shouldn't have came alone. I should've just left a phone call but I didn't and now; the only thing I knew for sure was that I was heart broken.

-

I almost got into a car accident while driving home. I was so torn, mad, heart broken and in pain from my cheek that my driving was ridiculously fast. The amount of cars that honked at me would've scared anyone away.

I snuck into my own house through the back door just incase someone was in the living room. I couldn't face anyone and I didn't want to lie to Galen or Angelo again.

I didn't know if anyone was home but I quickly crept up to my room either way.

I don't know how long it had been but I laid in bed and cried until I was all drained out.

I didn't even know why exactly I was crying. If it was because we broke up or his attitude towards me. I didn't know which part was making me sad but it didn't matter because in the end, I was the one feeling broken.

"Ven?"

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I glanced over and saw Angelo sticking his head through the door.

"I've been calling your name for a few minutes now... Are you okay?" He let himself into my room.

I shut my eyes and hoped my pillow would swallow my head whole but then opened my eyes when Angelo sat on the side of my bed beside me.

"What's wrong, Venezia?"

I hesitated for a minute, having a mental debate with myself on whether or not I should tell him.

Then I sat up and looked to the side so he could see my beat red cheek.

"Venezia..." His voice was quiet. "Did he..."

He didn't have to finish his sentence. I sighed and laid back down which he took as an answer.

Angelo didn't say anything for a few minutes. He stayed completely silent and stared at the wall with his jaw clenched which scared me a bit.

"Are you okay?" He finally asked, his voice low and quiet. "Stupid question, I know. But seriously,"

"I'm fine," I told him which was a lie. "I just want to be left alone for a while, Angelo. Thank you for checking in on me though."

He looked at me and looked hesitant as if he were deciding whether or not to leave me.

Then he stood up and nodded his head, "I'm sorry, Venezia. You deserve better."

I didn't look at him when he said that. I couldn't.

Right when he left my room, my eyes dropped shut and somewhere though my train of thoughts, I managed to fall asleep.