We Were Always Going to Burn

“It looks bad, Ophelia. Surely you can see that,” CEO of Compass Olivia McFarland told me sternly.  I remained silent, staring at the painted wall over her left shoulder.  “Getting mixed up in trouble, especially with him - will you look at me when I’m talking to you, Ophelia?” Reluctant, I dragged my eyes to meet hers. As always, I was thrown by how similar they were to mine - a deep, russet brown, warm as a cup of tea in winter. Hers were just framed by more wrinkles, brought on early by the stress of her job.  “Eff.” Her tone shifted to a pleading note that never made it into any campaign speeches. “Investment rounds are coming up. If you’re involved with my enemy’s son, it will only cause trouble for you.” By “enemy,” she just meant the son of a rival company. She tended to think along war-like lines when it came to business. It made her a great CEO, but not a great mom. “Don’t lie, Mom. You’re worried about the trouble it would cause you,” I said. “You never care about me.”  She flinched. Most people wouldn’t notice, but I had years of practice digging in the daggers. “Is that really what you think?” she asked. “It’s what I know,” I said, now glaring at a whorl in our stained oak floors.  She sighed. “That’s not true. I love you, and I want what’s best for you.” “You have a funny way of showing it,” I said. The knot of wood was tightly packed with spirals. I traced one with my eyes, wishing I was anywhere but here. Wishing I was with Henry. He could make me forget about this, I knew. “So you won’t leave Henry?” she asked. “There’s nothing I can do? Nothing I can say that will persuade you of what a bad idea he is?” “No, and you can’t make me, Mom.” Henry and I were in love, not that my mom would ever believe me if I told her. I couldn’t stay away from him. She stood up. “If you won’t respond to sense, then there’s nothing else I can do. I’m sending you away.” What? I forgot about staring at the floor as I stood up, heart pounding. Our fights never went like this.  “You’re forcing my hand. I don’t want to do this. But I will do what’s best for us,” she said, shifting visibly from Mom to CEO.  My eyes stung, but I didn’t cry. I still couldn’t process what was happening. This couldn’t be happening. “Send me away? Where? Some boarding school in Switzerland?” I said, crossing my arms furiously. “Nothing as dramatic as that, Ophelia. One of my old school friends told me she’d take you in. Not for long - just for the first half of the school year. If you behave, you can come back then.” Six months! In some random town! I frantically tried to remember everything she’d said about where she grew up, her friends, but I couldn’t.   If I was gone for six months, Henry would forget about me, I realized. I couldn’t let that happen. “Mom! Please, I swear. Don’t send me away.” “I tried to reason with you, darling. I’m not doing this to punish you. I’m doing this to keep you - to keep us safe.” I knew the truth. She was sending me away so I couldn’t be a problem for her, only to be trotted back out in December in time for the Christmas family photos. A picture-perfect family. “You’d never do this to Dom!” I cried.  “Dom gives me a good deal less trouble than you,” my mom said. I snorted. But I didn’t rat Dom out like I could. It wouldn’t do any good right now, since he was safely away at college anyway. I made a mental note to tell my brother he owed me. “What will you tell -- people? About why I’m leaving? The school?” I said.  “I don’t need to justify my actions to anyone,” she said. But I knew she’d have a lie prepared anyway, to spare her the shame of revealing a disobedient daughter. She probably would tell people I’d gone to a boarding school in Switzerland. “And what should I say? ‘Hi, my name’s Ophelia, I moved here because my mom hates me’?” She stayed serene this time. “You can say whatever you like, Ophelia. New girl coming to a small town like that? You’ll be getting plenty of attention. Try to enjoy it.” As if I could enjoy spending time in a dusty old town when I had all of New York at my fingertips right now. As if I could just forget about Henry and everything he meant to me. “They start school earlier down there, so you’ll get started with classes in just a few days. And like I said, I’ll be deciding if you’re ready to come home for good at Christmas. If you embarrass me or make life difficult for Frankie, you’ll be there even longer.” I let out a little scream in frustration. Everything was moving so fast. Normally Mom allowed some negotiation, some wiggle room. This time she seemed implacable. “Who’s even Frankie? You haven’t told me anything, you’re just shipping me off!” “Ah - yes. She’s your host. She has a daughter your age, um, Natalie,” my mom said. She handed me a folder that had been sitting on her leather-topped desk. “Frankie and I were good friends back when I lived in Clarbridge. We kept in touch over the years. One of the few people who still makes the effort for me…” She trailed off. I snatched it from her hand and threw it to the ground. She just sighed. “That folder has all the information you need - classes, teachers, all the information I could get on Frankie and Natalie. You don’t have to take it if you don’t want, but I thought it would make things easier for you.” I debated bending down to pick it back up, but I couldn’t face the embarrassment.  “Keep it,” I said instead, trying to inject as much venom in my voice as I could. I hated all of this. It smacked too much of a well-laid plan, and that meant she was really going to go through with it. She was really sending me away to a nowhere town in the middle of nowheresville, to be just another nobody. This was not a spur of the moment decision. I ran into my room and threw myself on the bed. A few moments later, I heard my mom knock on the door. I sat up, praying she’d changed her mind. But I was not so lucky. “We’re leaving for the airport in an hour. Start packing.” She threw a duffel bag she'd been holding onto the bed next to me, and then she closed the door. I sank to my knees. This couldn't be happening. I unlocked my phone and tapped Henry's picture. But I didn't know what to say. I packed my bag, throwing anything I touched into the bag mindlessly. My brain just kept running the same words on repeat. I'm sending you away. I'm sending you away. I'm sending you away. I'm sending you away. A faceless chauffeur picked me up and drove me wordlessly to the airport. I went through the motions mechanically, finding the gate, boarding the plane, watching the ground fall away from me as we took off. A few hours later, when I touched down at the airport, I realized had no idea who was picking me up. I sat down at the baggage claim and stared up at the ceiling. Life could not get much worse. Why did I have to have thrown that folder to the floor? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Natalie* I hated Ophelia McFarland as soon as I saw her because she had everything I wanted. Think brown hair falling over her shoulder in loose waves. Legs that went on for days. The way she lounged on the uncomfortable airport chairs conveyed nonchalance, elegance, some kind of indefinable coolness. She looked like the kind of girl who let loose, and I would never dare to. I had worked for everything I had. I’d climbed to be class president, captain of the swim team, and even relatively popular. Ophelia looked like the kind of person who got things handed to her on a platter. As we neared, I tensed up subconsciously. Frankie noticed and put her hand on my shoulder. I made an effort to unclench. “Remember, Ophelia is probably feeling confused and upset. It’s our job to help her get settled in,” she murmured in my ear.  Easy for her to say. She wasn’t sharing a room with her.  But I pasted my valedictorian smile on, the one I practiced in the mirror for when I’d give my graduation speech. I could do this. This was just another hurdle.  “Hi, Ophelia,” I said as charmingly as I could manage. Ophelia whirled around and stood up. “God, you scared me. You’re Naomi, right?” The smile threatened to slip, but I hoisted it back up. “Natalie, actually.” “Sure,” she said. She didn’t apologize. “Ophelia, I’m Frankie, your mom’s friend. We live a ways away from here. Why don’t we get going, and we can make introductions in the car? I want to be home in time for dinner,” Frankie said.  “Whatever,” Ophelia said.  “Can I carry your bag? I’m sure you’ve had a long jour--” I tried, but Ophelia had already walked away towards the car park, carrying her bag. “She’s tired and scared, Nat. Remember that,” Frankie reminded me under her breath. “I know,” I grumbled, “But she could try a little harder to be polite.” “Give her time,” Frankie said.  Ophelia slowed down enough to let us pass her. She was absorbed in her phone, sending a series of quick texts. As soon as I came closer, she covered her phone and glared at me, as though I was interested in snooping in her life. I tossed my head and made a beeline for the car. I was getting shotgun no matter what Frankie said. “This it?” Ophelia said when we arrived at the beat-up hatchback. I could hear the disdain in her tone. I wanted to rail at her and explain it was all we could afford, how hard Frankie had worked to save up for this car. But I wouldn’t. I nodded and hopped in the front before Frankie or Ophelia could say anything. “Cool, I guess,” Ophelia muttered behind me as she crawled into the back.  The car ride home was awkward. Every time Frankie asked Ophelia something, she’d shoot back a one-word answer, normally while texting on her phone at the same time. I tried to give Frankie meaningful looks to indicate what a brat Ophelia was, but Frankie didn’t acknowledge them. So I was left to grumble mentally instead. I was not looking forward to having dinner with Ophelia. I just hoped we could stay out of each other’s way enough to maintain sanity.  Then I had a brilliant thought - Gideon could be my diffuser. It was bound to be less awkward with him. I got my own phone out for the first time, and shot him a quick text. Frankie wouldn’t mind - Gideon practically lived with us most of the time anyway. SOS, I typed. Ophelia is a massive b***h. Please come to dinner and save me. 7 pm. The reply came instantly.  I got u I breathed a sigh of relief. If Gideon was there, I could make it through anything. Gideon and I had been best friends since I could remember. He lived two streets down from us and spent more time at our house than his own. We’d been through everything together - puberty, hormones, bullying. We’d been each other’s first kiss when he was worried he’d be the only boy left at school who hadn’t kissed a girl. (We’d decided never to do it again, because ew.) Even if Ophelia was utterly insufferable at dinner, at least I’d have Gideon there to keep my company. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Ophelia* I’m pretty sure Natalie hated me on sight, probably because I represented everything she despised. She was organized; I was clearly a mess. She knew where she was going in life; I was going nowhere fast.  To be truthful, I was predisposed to dislike her as well. She was my warden in this jail cell of a city. But I was going to be sharing a house with her. If she had been cool, I would have made an effort.  As soon as she walked up to me with that massive s**t-eating grin on her face, I knew we would not be friends. With her straight blonde hair in neat braids down her back and her prep-worthy outfit of a plaid skirt, collared shirt, and cardigan, she was not my type.  As I trailed behind Frankie and Natalie to the car, I inhaled a heavy, humid breath of Atlanta air. I looked down at my phone and send a quick text to Henry. Miss you. It’s horrible here. Mom sent me to purgatory. Didn't realize she hated your mom that much. The three dots popped up almost before I’d hit send. Maybe he’d been thinking of me too. You’re really missing out babe Talia throwing a big party at her parents house Gonna get smashed My eyes burned with unshed tears as I read his texts. Talia was more in Henry’s circle than mine, but I’d been to some of her parties before. I couldn’t believe I was missing it. If it was anything like past parties, there’d be magicians, fireeaters, nonstop food, flowing alcohol, and any kind of drug you could think to ask for.  I quickly typed back: Can’t wait to see you xo Come and visit? You can be my homecoming date lol There was a longer pause this time, but before we got to the car, I saw his response: Lol yeah When is it I didn’t actually know. I resolved to ask as soon as I could in a subtle way. I didn’t think my mom would approve of Henry coming down to visit, since I was supposed to be getting away from him.  “This it?” I said as we approached one of the dusty cars in the row.  Natalie nodded at me wordlessly as she slid into the front seat. Giving me the silent treatment, I supposed. “Cool, I guess,” I said. I slipped my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and hoisted my duffel bag into the back of the station wagon.  The ride home was silent. Frankie peppered off a ton of questions at me I didn’t know the answers to. Natalie issued nothing but a cool, stormy silence I could feel even from the backseat. I drifted off in a daydream, reliving a particularly wonderful date I’d had with Henry. He was my first grown-up boyfriend. My first real boyfriend, to be honest. He was a few years older than me and was about to start attending his first year at MIT, but he said he found me more mature than other girls his age. I’d first met him six months ago at the annual Christmas party. He was - magnetic, there was no other word for it. He had this golden rumble of a voice that made you feel like you had to lean in closer to listen.  “Ophelia, right?” a voice said just behind my ear. Goosebumps erupted on my neck. I spun, feeling like a silly kid trying to be a grown-up in my deep red velvet dress. “That’s me,” I said, breathless. In front of me was one of the most handsome boys I’d ever seen. He had a mop of gold curls, ocean-blue eyes, a sharp jawline with a hint of sandy stubble. He smiled, revealing a sliver of white teeth.  “Who are you?” I asked stupidly. “I’m Henry,” he said, smile widening. “You don’t know me? God, that sounded atrocious - I promise I’m not a stuck-up twat.” I shook my head, lost in his voice. He was British, that much I knew. But I’d never seen him before in my life. “How do you know me?” “Well, I guess I should introduce myself properly before I get into trouble. I’m the son of Arabella Quincy.” That name jarred me. My mother’s most bitter business rival. I had no idea she had a son, let alone a British one. “They ship me off to Eton during the school year,” Henry explained, as though reading my thoughts. “My dad’s British. I don’t see my mum much.” “Oh,” I said, desperately casting around for something more interesting to say. “Yes. My mom hates your mom.” I cringed internally.  “My mum hates yours too. But listen, we don’t have to play by their rules,” Henry said, leaning towards me conspiratorially. “We can be friends. At least we can pass this dire dinner party together. Want to go get drunk in a closet?”  I’d never met him. He was dangerously handsome. My mom would definitely disapprove. Of course, I said yes. We spent the evening giggling together in some supply closet with a couple of bottles of pilfered wine. I was instantly smitten, though I didn’t think he liked me like that. Surely he was too interesting. Surely there were more beautiful girls for him out there. When it was time to leave, all my mom said in the car ride home was that I’d behaved myself really well for once. I took that to mean she didn’t notice me at all, and considered that a good thing. I watched the stars out of the window of the cab the whole ride home, dreaming of Henry. The car jolted to a halt, bringing me out of my reverie. I realized I was staring at a blue sky with some puffy white clouds scudding along, not a cool, starry night.  “We’re here,” Frankie announced needlessly. I got out, but not before Natalie could grab my bag out of the back for me. She smiled again. All teeth, no eyes. “I’ll take it up to our room,” she said. I shook my head at her competitiveness to grab my bag before I could. Then her words sank in. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said. “Hold on. Our room?” Her smile didn’t falter for an instant. If anything, it became wider and more blinding. “Yep. Didn’t your mom tell you? We live in a pretty small house. We’re sharing a room.” “Uh-uh,” I said. “No way. I’ll sleep on the couch.” “Then you’ll get woken up at five in the morning when I go to open the bar,” Frankie said cheerfully. “Your call.” I stared at the house. This could not be happening. My mom not only exiled me from my city, from my friends, from Henry, but also from the dignity of having my own room? This was lower than I’d ever expected from her. “I’m not thrilled about it either,” Natalie said, smile belying her words, “but I’m sure we can make it work. I’m not out all night at parties, I’m pretty tidy...” she trailed off doubtfully. “And I’m sure you are too.” I did not mention the fact that my room at home looked like a disaster zone, nor that I loved staying out until three in the morning partying. Not like I could get a lot of that here out in the burbs. “Anyway,” Natalie continued, “We can worry about that later. We’re about to have dinner. You can meet Gideon, too.” “Your… brother?” I guessed. “No,” Natalie replied as Frankie opened the front door, keys jingling. “My best friend.” I walked up to the house, slowing to smell the flowers. It was heady perfume - floral, and sweet, maybe a little spicy.  “Gardenias and jasmine,” Natalie replied to my unspoken question. “I have some in our room. They smell nice, don’t they?” I just nodded, thrown again by the reference to “our” room. Maybe Mom would let me book a hotel or something. There was no way I was sharing for six months. Then Gideon himself was standing in front of me. My mouth dropped open. And all at once, three things became absolutely clear. One, Gideon, was one of the most attractive men I’d ever seen, rivaling even Henry. He had mahogany hair that bronzed at the tips from the sun. His skin was a deep, smooth tan, constellated with freckles all over. He was tall, built big, like he could give you the best hug of your life. I did not know they made them like that out here. Two, Natalie had to be in love with him. Best friends? A boy like him? My ass. There was something else going on there. Three, I was going to steal Gideon away from her. It was petty, but it’d be an act of perfect revenge. She was the reason I was stuck here in the middle of nowhere, sharing a room. I thought guiltily of Henry, but assured myself it wouldn’t be serious. Just for fun. I’d never actually sleep with him. Just to put Natalie in her place. Gideon smiled at me, rubbing the back of his neck a little sheepishly, like he knew he wasn’t invited to dinner. ”Hey. I’m Gideon. Nice to meet you. How was your flight over?” “Hi Gideon,” I said, trying to pour all the charm I could muster into my words. “I’m Ophelia. Pleasure to meet you. It was wonderful, actually.” “I’m glad to hear that,” he said. He opened his mouth to continue, but Frankie interrupted. “Gideon! Now, you know you’re always welcome here, but I didn’t think you were coming for Ophelia’s first dinner!” “Natalie invited me,” he said, gesturing at her.  Natalie smiled back at him. “I thought he’d want to meet his new neighbor.” New neighbor? Hello. If we lived next to Gideon I could see my way to being happy here. I’d at least have a good time flirting with him. “Well, I should have known. Y’all are inseparable,” Frankie said, laughing. “Let’s eat. I’ve got meatballs in the slow cooker.” My smile widened. Inseparable for not very much longer, if I had my way.