Beauty's Virgin

Somewhere close to the edge of nowhere, sits an old orchard tree freely blowing in the wind. Strangely enough, the tree bares only one fruit per season. A lonely existence indeed. And like that lonely apple, you find me sitting underneath the shade of the tree all alone. I hang my feet right off the edge of the high ledge. Death seemingly staring at me from the sharp rocks at the bottom. But I don't hang around this place thinking only about death. No it's really a secret hideout for me to ponder about the entirety of my life and how bland it feels. My life lacks any real excitement, and has basically become a routine of empty days and nights. To some, life doesn't get any simpler than this. Some even desire it. But my heart isn't so desirable on living just a simple life. I believe I'm a person driven by excitement, and the lack of it kills me slowly. So maybe that's why I come to this spot to ponder on Life and Death. So I take in a big inhale of the natural airs surrounding. And after one long exhale, I tell myself, "it's time to head back home" . I grab the bag left lying on the ground a few metres away from the tree. And I start to take a slow walk back to the quiet suburbs. When I finally home, I'm greeted by a cute smile of a girl standing by the front door. "Hey Alex. Have you seen your sister anywhere", the girl asks me. In a less than enthusiastic tone I reply, "have you tried checking inside of the house. Better yet her room, since that seems to be a girl's base of operation" . As soon as I say that, the girl starts to chuckle. "You're so funny", she tells me. "That wasn't meant to be a joke, but okay," I think to myself. Soon after, the front door swings wide open and my sister walks out. "Wait! How long have you been standing here for? And why didn't you knock" , my sister asks the girl. "Hey! You said to meet you by the curve in front of your house" , the girl replies. "You can be so blonde Emma", my sister tells the girl. Emma replies with, " whatever Hazel" I soon decide that this conversation between girls really doesn't need my contribution, so I start walking into the house. As I do that, I hear Emma whisper something to my sister that tickles my ears. "Damn your little brother is pretty", Emma says to Hazel. Hazel punches Emma's arm and exclaims, "behave yourself" . I act like I didn't hear what I obviously heard, and head into my room. Later on I stand in front of my mirror and start examining myself thoroughly. "Am I really pretty, or was that girl trying to sell me dreams", I ask myself as I'm squeezing my cheeks. "Nah! I don't see it. Plus can guys even look pretty, because there's no way I look in such a manner. Nope! At most I'm average at best", I think out loud to myself. My mother walks into the room and finds me still standing in front of the mirror, squeezing my cheeks. "Dinner is ready sweetie, and what are you doing", she exclaims. "Uhm! Just checking for pimples", I tell her with eyes wide open. She turns around and walks off stating, "that's not how you check for them". After that awkward confrontation, I head downstairs into the dinning room to have supper. My dad sits straight across my view, while my mum and Hazel sit on his right and left sides. My dad makes an announcement by saying, "since Alex is the last one to come to the table and is the baby of the family. He can say grace". My mum and Hazel start to look at each other and giggle. I sigh heavily, unamused by this constant reminder. I stretch out my hands to both my mum and Hazel, as they hold onto my dad's. We all close our heads and bow our heads. I clear my throat, and in a confident manner say, "Grace! Amen!" I let go of my mum and Hazel's hand with my eyes open and grab the fork besides my plate. Everyone in the room looks at me with confused faces. I look up to all of them, and with a smile on my face exclaim, "what!? You said say grace" The room falls quiet for five seconds, and afterwards everyone starts laughing. "Okay, I'll give you that one", my dad says as he grabs his fork. We all start eating, and the usual conversation around the dinner table starts. My dad goes on about his bosses at work, and how they're not doing the company any justice. My mum keeps reminding him to be positive no matter the situation. Then the conversation switches to them asking about Hazel and my day. Hazel as always has to boast about all her achievements from the day, and about how many clients they had at the hair salon today. I get that she enjoys the job she got from out Auntie at the hair salon. But if I have to hear another story about how such a certain client had the biggest bad hair of the day when she walked in. I might have the biggest bad headache of the night. My dad soon turns to me and asks, "and you Alex? What did you get up to besides hiding out at your usual secret hideaway after school, or better yet forever hiding in that room of yours". I take a spoonful of rice into my mouth, as a perfect excuse not to reply. My sister soon decides to answer the question for me. "Yes dad. That's exactly and the only thing Alex did today", Hazel states. I give her a shadowy gaze, and she just smiles at me. "I find that hard to believe. Especially a boy as handsome as you. How can you not have a very eventful day everyday", my dad states. I start to awkwardly laugh and roll my eyes. "Yeah sure dad", I respond to him. My mum adds on by saying to me, "you really need to have more self-confidence sweetie" . I can only awkwardly smile as my sister smiles and nods her head. After supper, I head into the kitchen and sort out the dishes. My sister tonight decides last minute not to help me. Giving some poor excuse about not wanting to ruin her recently done up nails. "Whatever", I tell myself as she tells me that excuse. After I finish washing the dishes, I retreat into my room. For the next two hours left of my parents natural awake time I patiently wait for my moment. "Soon, Alex, soon", I tell myself. To distract myself, I shift in between listening to music and maybe finishing up the race I left paused on my laptop. But my music always comes first, so I just end up going back to laying down on the floor. I look up at the ceiling, questioning my existence to pass the time. Suddenly my instincts kick in. "They're sleeping now" , I tell myself. How I know this is because, the silence in the house makes my music seem much louder. I open my door, and make sure the coast is clear. I quietly close the door, and make my way to the middle of my room. I find my vibe playlist, and turn the volume on my earphones to the maximum they can reach. I lay flat on the floor, closing my eye's shut and letting my heart fall quiet. I raise one knee, and then the other. My hands reach to the sky, grabbing the Heaven's embrace. I slowly begin to dance in no particular style or motion, but just what feels comfortable to me. Every chorus and verse of each song changes my dance style. Every beat drop pumps my heart, while my very soul follows the rhythm of my movements. My feet sometimes stomping the ground in sync with the drum beats. In between my dancing I pull out an earphone to listen for my parents possibly heading in the direction of the strange noises. My mum sometimes walks into my room and finds her son in the most strangest of stances. So I listen out for her footsteps to better prepare myself so to act normal for once. I dance for what feels like eternity, till my heart is racing and sweat is running down my face. My breaths run heavy at every exhale, which tells me it's time to end this little private dance. I get up from the floor and pull the blankets off my bed and jump in. With a smile on my face I tell myself, "That was good one today". But another voice replies with, "I bet it was" I get up in a panicked manner, and find Hazel standing by the door with her arms folded. In an annoyed sharp tone I ask her, "what do you want". Just wanted to say goodnight to my pretty baby brother and tell him he's got a admirer named Emma" , she tells me. I stare her down and exclaim, "what are you even talking about" .