Dusk to Dawn

Dusk-2

When the bell rang at the end of classes, my heart sank. I had to pack my stuff and get out of there. Maybe come face to face with my new nemesis who had probably been hunting for me every recess. Maybe he’d be stuck in a lab that was running late, or maybe he still had classes after this one. High school students spent more hours than us at school, so it was possible.

Unlike my normal routine, I followed a large group of my classmates outside. I’d snapped out of my fear-induced daze in time to catch them, and now I was trying my best to lose myself among them. I was the shortest, so it wasn’t that hard to do in the middle of five or six boys.

When I reached the exit, my heart was in my throat, and cold sweat had drenched me. I barely said goodbye to my classmates before dashing away from school. I didn’t stop running until I reached the bus stop. Most days, I’d get on the bus and head straight home. Today I needed a moment to catch my breath.

I dragged my feet to the park behind the stop, found an empty bench and sat on it. It was still cold and dreary, but I didn’t care. I didn’t even mind the bench under me was soaked through.

When I calmed down enough to feel it, my empty stomach became a nuisance. I sighed and rummaged through my backpack, until I found the two sandwiches Auntie had prepared for me. I ate them slowly, still going through the events of the day. When I was done, and now thirsty as hell, I thought heading home would be a great idea. I needed the safety of my apartment, a nice meal at Auntie’s, and then plenty of rest. I’d need my strength to fend off all the enemies I was apparently making.

***

I saw him in the corner of my eye. He was crossing the high school’s yard, heading to the students’ entrance. He was a few meters away from me and I lost all ability to breathe. This was it. I was done for. He was going to recognize me from yesterday and beat the s**t out of me.

My heart was drumming a wild rhythm that echoed in my ears, muffling all other sounds. I kept walking, watching as the disaster was unfolding. The guy who looked even taller today was moving so fast, with such precision. He was coming my way. His hair was loose, trailing behind him like a menacing blaze of wild flames. His eyes glowing with anger, or maybe determination.

Something harsh drew my attention and I focused my skewed hearing on it. It was my breathing, coming out in ragged pants. One more step and then… he passed right by me, continuing his elegant stride toward the entrance. He stopped at the foot of the stairs, grabbed a guy by the top of his backpack and yanked him back.

The guy screeched and then turned to fight, but when he saw my nemesis, his face went deathly pale and his eyes bulged.

“What did I tell you about bothering her?” my future killer asked through gritted teeth.

“S-sorry, man. I was just…”

“Leaving. You were just leaving.”

The other guy nodded and scrammed. He disappeared so fast, he gave me whiplash.

“Are you okay?”

The question pulled my attention to the girl from the other day who had winked at me. She looked annoyed, maybe a little scared, but she nodded.

“He was just being a sleazebag, as always.”

“Sorry, E, I was running late.”

She chuckled and patted his shoulder. “I think he got the message this time. What with you scaring the life out of him.”

They laughed together, and it sounded like a perfect harmony. Something tugged at my heart. A dull pain, a longing that I couldn’t understand. I shrugged it off, and made my way up the stairs. It wasn’t smart to gawk at some guy who’d threatened to kick your ass. Especially not after he’d just displayed his skills of putting the fear of god into people.

The incident had delayed me and the bozos from the other class were all outside, leaning against the wall opposite my classroom, using the huge water pipes crossing through the hallway as makeshift chairs.

“Look who’s here, the prettiest girl in 7A,” a fat guy with a permanent cruel smile painted on his face said.

Of all his colleagues, him I hated the most. Before they’d noticed me, I’d seen his new buddies laughing at him and giving him a hard time. The moment they’d turned on me, he’d joined in, setting them off every time he saw me. I’d never do anything like that to another person. Or, who knew, it had only been about a month for me. He’d been in the same class with them for over two years.

I ducked my head between my shoulders, hoping to slip inside before the rest of them joined in.

I hit the wall next to the door I was focusing on, and groaned at the impact. It hurt, but my thick jacket had softened the blow.

“Where do you think you’re going?” the tallest of them asked. He’d been the one to push me. I stole a glance at his dead, blue eyes and shaggy, blond hair. He would have been handsome if not for the ugliness showing through when he towered over me like this, all menacing and violent.

The bell went off, and the rest of his buddies got up to walk to their class. I got a few pinches and slaps across the back of my head, but they didn’t press any further. I sighed, sweet relief washing over me. I had to be more careful. Dodging so many people was exhausting.

I dragged my feet to my seat and fell into it.

“Morning, Seba,” my desk mate said.

I mumbled in response, shying away from Elena’s inquisitive eyes.

“Are you okay?”

I shrugged and undid my jacket. There was no time to hang it in the back, so I just draped it around me. “I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be,” she hissed. “Those guys are morons.”

I smiled and finally looked at her. She was pissed, her normally thin lips almost invisible now. She brushed a wild strand of super curly hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear.

“You should tell somebody.”

“Who?” I arched an eyebrow.

“Our homeroom teacher?”

I rolled my eyes and huffed. “So she could do what, exactly? Talk to their homeroom teacher? Have her scold them? That would just piss them off and make them more vicious.”

She shook her head and turned to face the blackboard. “This isn’t right. It’s just not fair.” Elena’s voice broke, and I was afraid she might cry. She cried a lot easier when she was pissed. More so than when she was sad.

“Hey, I’ll be fine. Next year, they’ll go to another class.” I winked at her, but it held no power. It had been less than two months and my life was already miserable.

“They can’t get away with this for a whole year. If you won’t tell, I will.”

“Elena, please. Don’t you dare. We’ll both regret it.”

Elena sighed and closed her eyes. “Fine. But I am totally pushing them down the stairs.”

Our conversation was interrupted when the teacher entered the room. I was glad we had math first thing. Elena wouldn’t dare talk during this class. By the time the class was over, she’d maybe forget about her quest of saving me.

It was touching, really, but I knew what would happen. Teachers and parents would get involved. It will be all good and quiet for a while. And then they’d catch me alone and make up for lost time. Besides, if parents needed to be involved, who would come for me? Auntie did enough as it was. And dad… Dad couldn’t be bothered with such insignificant stuff.

I sighed and focused on the lesson, letting the distraction of numbers and solvable problems soothe my mind. Math was easy. School in general was easy. You did this and as a result that happened, that was the rule. It was something I controlled. Something I understood. If I got a bad grade, I wouldn’t lose sleep wondering why. It was always because I didn’t study or practice enough. My family, my own being, the bullies, those I couldn’t figure out. No matter how much explaining I did in my head, I was always stuck on the same question. Why me?

***

I was going down the stairs, still buzzing with excitement after our chemistry class. We’d done some experiments in the lab today and there had been something fascinating about the way colors would change, substances would bubble and hiss in our test tubes, or how they’d react to fire. Usually, it was just the teacher showing us, and that was cool enough because we still went to the bright white lab upstairs and weren’t stuck in our class for seven hours a day. But getting to do it myself, that was way more interesting. I loved it when learning was about more than memorizing dull things and we got to do something fun. It hadn’t happened often, and I was positive this had been the first chemistry class where I’d been so enthralled. We’d just started it this year, so I hadn’t been bored for too long.

“Edi, wait up,” someone shouted behind me.

A flight of stairs above me, a guy turned and looked up. “What’s up?”

I stumbled and caught myself on the rail. It was him, my nemesis. And now he had a name. Edi. He stood out from the crowd of nameless tormenters and he was looking right at me. I froze in my spot, clinging to the cold concrete and trying to breathe. I couldn’t look away from those dark eyes, wondering what he’d do to me when he noticed I was there. Someone brushed past me and reached Edi. They exchanged a few words that I couldn’t make out, and then turned around and walked away. I let the air out, my shoulders sagging. I released the rail and forced one foot in front of the other. He hadn’t seen me, he hadn’t even been looking at me.

He’d looked different today. More rugged. Like he’d skipped a day of shaving after a rough night. It was a Monday, so maybe he’d partied all weekend, what did I know?

I sighed and continued my descent, my heart sinking with every step. I had no idea why, but Edi not seeing me, not recognizing me, had been a huge blow. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d just dodged a beating. Why did it matter that a guy I’d insulted one morning had forgotten all about me?

As I reached the hallway leading to the basement classrooms, the group of bullies from next door were there, as they always were.

“Look who’s joining us, boys,” someone said. I couldn’t be bothered to look up to see which of them it was.

“He’s upset. Do you want us to kiss it better, girlie?”

“f**k right off, okay?”

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself. I went inside and sat at my desk, looking into the big void surrounding me.

The world rarely made any sense to me. I did not understand why my mother had died. I did not understand why she’d dragged my father’s life down there with her. He sure didn’t seem to care about anything in the living world. I did not understand why those older kids had singled me out to torment.

Being clueless about the whys and hows of my life was my normality. But now there was this new incomprehensible puzzle. The gorgeous boy who I’d been running from, hiding from for weeks, and how I wanted him to notice me, remember me… that was just too sick even for me. I realized that for some crazy reason, I needed to see him. Get as close as humanly possible.

“Seba, what’s wrong?”

It was Elena’s cold hands more than her words that yanked me out of the hurricane of thoughts I’d been caught in.

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine. You’re so pale. More than usual I mean.”

I turned to face her and she smiled, failing to hide her worry. “It’s just something I am trying to figure out.”

“Want some help?” She plonked next to me and bumped her shoulder into mine. “You know I’m smarter than you anyway.”

I looked around, noticing everyone was either outside, or huddled together around some magazine in the far corner of the classroom. It was as private as I could hope for. I told Elena everything. How I’d insulted the guy. How I hid from him. How I’d just found out his name by mistake.