Only Four Desire

“Stupid b***h!” He slapped the divorce papers on the coffee table, sending the decorative plastic plant to the carpeted floor with a soft thump that still made Roxie startle, or perhaps that was the venom she heard in her soon-to-be ex-husband. “You think you will gain anything from this? You will lose everything!” he bellowed, his hands curled into fists at his sides. He wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. She’d fully expected he would go down this path. Roxie wrapped her arms around her middle, her back pressed to the wall. She refused to let him see her shake. “I would rather lose everything than continue living a life with you,” she said, the voice low on instinct because she never raised her voice at him. But the words still hit their target. Elias snarled. “Oh, you can even talk back now? Grown wings, have you? Why? Is there some man out there lying to you that he’s going to love you and take you in once you are out of my house?” He scoffed as though it were the most preposterous thing he’d ever heard. Then, loving the sound of his own voice too much, he didn’t wait for her response before he went on. “He’s lying to you, honey. No man will want you once I divorce you. You are second-hand material. No man would dare go for that. And you know what’s going to happen then? You are going to grow old alone and end up the side chick of some married old man just to survive.” Remaining perfectly still, Roxie’s fingers dug into her side. Again, it wasn’t the first time she had heard those words from Elias, so she wasn’t surprised and was able to hide the fear those words brought. That’s what everyone said. Once divorced, a woman lost all her value, and she was only good enough for a side piece to some old married man. Well, hell to the no. Roxie refused to believe that. Not that she was divorcing Elias with the hope of finding another man to fill his position. No. But even if she did venture out there again at some point, she sure as hell wasn’t going to be a married man’s mistress. She knew all too well how much pain came with that lifestyle from this side of the coin and wouldn’t wish it on another woman. “There is no other man, Elias, and you know that. I never strayed from our marriage. That was all you.” “It’s not straying if I told you all about it.” He threw his arms in the air in frustration, looking every bit like the one being subjected to the heartache and not her. “I’m a man, Roxie, I have needs. You were lucky I didn’t do it behind your back.” Jesus! Roxie shook her head. The man couldn’t be serious. “Isn’t that worse? At least if you had hidden it, I might have believed you had some respect for me.” At least, that was what she wanted to believe. “So your solution is to divorce me? I’ve told you, if you think you are getting any of my properties, you’ll be sadly mistaken. I will make sure you get nothing.” Roxie had no doubt about that. Her gaze swept over the house she’d called home for the past four years. It was nothing extravagant, just a three-bedroom house with average furnishings that she’d always kept meticulously clean. For a while, Roxie had believed that was enough. She was married, had a son, and a beautiful home. Elias hadn’t been the most attentive or romantic of partners, but no one was perfect. At least he kept a roof over their heads and met all the house expenses. It was more than what some husbands did. Things would have continued that way if he hadn’t made his request. She remembered the night he dropped the bomb on her with painful clarity. ‘You and I are not sexually compatible,’ Elias announced casually over dinner as though he were discussing the weather. The piece of chicken in Roxie’s mouth nearly went into the wrong pipe. Coughing, she reached for her water and gulped half of it down before she dared meet her husband’s gaze. It didn’t escape her notice that he hadn’t so much as flinched while she’d been trying to hack up a lung. But that was Elias, so she let it slide and decided to focus on what he was saying. ‘Sexually compatible? What are you talking about?’ she asked, glad their son, Josiah, was already in bed and wouldn’t hear any of this. Elias took his time responding. He scooped up a forkful of the rice and steamed broccoli into his mouth, chewed, swallowed, and wiped the corners of his mouth before he deemed it necessary to answer her question. ‘I simply mean that our desires, preferences, and expectations don’t align. But don’t worry about it. I have already found a solution.’ Elias shoveled more food into his mouth, his appetite seemingly completely unaffected by the discussion, while Roxie’s own appetite left the building about the same time he’d started talking. ‘What kind of solution?’ she asked, even as dread filled her and a voice at the back of her head told her she didn’t want to know the answer to that question. ‘I will keep a mistress on the side to satisfy my needs.’ Roxie blinked, pushing the memories away. She studied the man she’d been willing to sacrifice her happiness for and felt a fresh wave of anger wash over her. He wanted her to leave with nothing? For some reason, she didn’t care. “Keep it all, Elias. Just sign the papers and let me go.” She turned to leave, no longer interested in anything he had to say. But of course, Elias had to have a final word. “You are not taking my son from me, Roxie. Don’t even dream about it.” Roxie froze, her back to him, eyes squeezed shut. Fear tensed every muscle in her body. She was prepared to lose everything to be free. But that didn’t include Josiah. Opening her eyes, she searched within her for the strength that had kept her going so far and held on by the skin of her teeth. “Josiah is my son. I won’t let you take my son away from me.”