Everything Has Changed

Jealousy

We continued the session normally as if I saw nothing. He knows that there’s a problem circling in this four-cornered room. I can see it in his actions but he continues to ignore it.

Time flew so fast and the session ended professionally. The pageants’ day is coming and we must take every session seriously.

As the bell rang in the campus that stated it’s already time to go home, I immediately went to the couch and packed my things properly, neat and clean. I can sense that he's going to bring the topic now and I know that he knows that I am not in the right mood.

He’s just sitting on the other couch in front of the couch I'm in. He is packing his things too but in a slow way. I can sense that he’s watching my actions so I stand up and take a step to exit the Auditorium, he breaks the silence between us.

He grabbed my wrist and I paused and took a look at how he grabbed me and looked at his face in my relaxed emoticon.

“What’s your problem, Sayaka? Is there something bothering you?” he uttered in a clueless manner.

“Nothing. Just mind your own business,” I said and exited the building.

My words just slap him so hard that he can’t even move. I know it is something harsh but I don’t want to tell you what the real problem is. I still don't know why I like him. I still don't know what to do if he's with me. I think I lost my mind.

Gosh Saj, don't fall for his tricky attitude. I can’t tell him that I like him and also I can’t tell him that I am jealous about that so-called princess and of the girl she's with earlier.

I thought about how my words will cut him deeper while walking on the campus. I walk with a sad and also frustrated look on my face. I just want to end this session with him. I can’t stand seeing him with the other girls like that. He seems completely happy that time and I wish he would smile like that to me.

Days after, I completely talk to him like I am a different person. I casually talk to him and no other issues involved. I don’t want to overthink something that I can't control.

I don’t like to invest more feelings in him and I want this feeling to fade away because what matters is, there's someone who owns him and he loves too.

For the past two weeks that I treat him like a shadow, he doesn't change at all. He treats me so well but I don't give him an exchange. I feel so bad about him. He's so clueless and doesn't know what the real problem is.

I wish I could tell him, but I can't. I just can't.

Two consecutive weeks after, all of the tiredness will be paid off. All of the sessions we have will be used on this day. The production team of our class managed our costumes very well. I believe we will make this work.

I curl my lashes and it will be done with mascara. Each room of the school is busy right now helping their contestants. Joshua is here supporting me, he’s helping with other stuff that I will use and he double checks everything while he doesn’t help on their classroom representative. I’m a bit in touch with it but still, I feel bad about their candidates.

My classmates can’t focus on the things they are assigned to do because there are two beautiful boys inside of our room and they don’t know where to look, but the two boys didn’t hesitate to give some attention to it.

I can hear the loud crowd cheering up for their candidates. After I finished my final touch and dress my girlfriends went to our room to cheer me up as well.

“Saaaaaj, OMG good luck sis! Oh, did I say good luck? like you are the titleholder and you’re just defending your crown. Why did I say good luck when you can win even if your eyes are closed,” Kylie stated in a sarcastic tone.

“Good luck Saj, we know you can do it, and even if we don’t believe in you. You can do it, nothing has changed,” Sav said while tapping my shoulder.

Serenity took a picture of me while we were waiting to start the program. I glance at where Ken is. He is also done with his wardrobe and he is doing his final touch on his face. He looks so handsome right now. I can’t help but stare, the makeup enhances his facial features pretty well and it suits him.

“Hmm, looking at someone? Inspiration before the contest or inspiration before, during, and after the contest?” Kylie sarcastically stated.

I immediately stop looking at Ken and give my attention to Kylie to defend on my side. I don’t want them to know that I already agree with what my heart feels. As I open my lips to start an argument with Kylie and to defend myself on her judgments, the Emcee finally announces that the pageant will start 10 minutes onwards.

They already left when we heard the announcement from the Student Government on the speaker of our classroom. I already meditate and help myself to focus on the more important things.

“Good luck Saj. You’re always the number one,” Josh stated while hugging me before he leaves my classroom.

My classmates are looking at us and some of them are shipping us together but someone caught my attention. The boy I was looking at earlier is looking at me with his intense gaze that tells like I’ve done something wrong.

We are called to be backstage while the emcee is starting the program to flow. There are lots of people who are watching today and they are excitedly cheering. I can’t even hear properly what the emcee is saying because of the loud cheering of the students.

I felt a little bit nervous because right now I have a goal to make and I can’t just do whatever I want in this pageant. The scholarship that Ken wants to have is his inspiration to do this pageant very well and so am I.

We are sitting on the couch backstage and he rarely speaks to me, he’s just doing what he wants to do and his action speaks.

He gave me bottled water and sat beside me. I can't manage the awkwardness of us and it can affect our performances later so I talk to him. Also for us to have at least a comfortable talk before our turn.

"Thank you, are you nervous?" I said to him as if nothing happened in the past two weeks of preparation.

I saw that he's a little bit shocked about what I did. He smiled at me and he shook his head. We continue to talk to each other until we feel overflowing confidence when performing on stage.

The time has come, the crowd cheers wildly when we go on the stage as we own the runway.

“Let us bring a round of applause for Mr. San Juan and Ms. Alcantara of Class 12-A” I heard the emcee said it cheerfully

The crowd was amazed at our costume, I heard someone say “Pro models!”. Our costume theme is like a modern soldier attire with the shade of black. I am wearing a black skirt with a layer of camouflage and a small chain on it and I am wearing a black tank top and a crop-top jacket in a camouflage shade also and boots. Ken’s wearing camouflage pants with a black sando and he is holding his camouflage jacket in his left hand.

We walked nicely as we did our session seriously. I looked at him at the end of the ramp and he put his arms on my shoulder and we left the audience with a nice and good poise. The crowd’s noise becomes at the widest point. We walk backstage to change our costumes.

We rest for a while and think carefully about how we will manage the contest well. I discuss the strengths and weaknesses of other candidates that I observe. The crowd’s choice is at us so we’re going to build strong communication on them. That’s our technique.

We came back on stage with a love team vibe to hype more the audience. It is a question and answer portion and one of us will answer the question. The emcee started to pick the name of the candidate who’s going to answer.

“Mr. Ken Ashton San Juan is going to represent the class 12-A on the question and answer portion,” The emcee stated as he looked upon Ken.

I’m confident about him and I’ll know he can do it based on our sessions he’s good at answering questions. I just do a poise to the audience while waiting for Ken to be questioned.

“If you are going to be the Mr. Veatri Academy this year, what are you going to do with the title itself?” one of the judges stated the question and the crowd began to quiet.

“Thank you for the question, Mr. Ocampo. If I will be holding the title for being Mr. Veatri Academy at this year’s pageant. I would use my title to be the role model of the students in terms of studying and also protecting themselves. I will be the role model of the whole campus on taking the school seriously, why, because not all of the students here are living a precious life. Some are earning the hardship to get the scholarship and by then I’ll let everyone see the two sides of the student and to let everyone know the importance of the education. As for self-defense, our PE teachers help us to know and to have basic knowledge about it that we must take seriously too. There are lots of bad people surrounding our campus and we don’t know what they can do. Girls must respect all the time and protect them if something bad happens to them,” he said the last phrase while looking at me that makes the audience cheers louder.

“Thank you for your wonderful answer, Mr. San Juan, from Class 12-A,” as the emcee stated we will go backstage and we will change our costumes for the last time.

This will be the final phase of the pageant, the evening attire. I am wearing a black strap silk dress with crystals on it and it has a slit on the left side while Ken is wearing a black tuxedo and pants with a black ribbon too. The emcee began to call the candidates and project our last poise.

We began to walk slowly on the runaway and he is holding my hand like a princess. Everyone is starting to shout ‘You two should date!’ and I let that slide. We do our last poise on the end of the runaway. He looked at me and then kissed my hand in front of the audience. I am shocked at what he did but I remain my poise and think that it’s only a part of the show.

The audience started to shout and cheer louder. The emcee will announce the winners in no time. I am nervous about it but also confident about how we carry the whole show. I am proud of him.

“The second runner up goes to Class 11-B, let us give them a round of applause,” the emcee stated and let the runner up to be in the center for the awarding ceremony.

I look upon Ken and I see no doubts on him, he seems so confident and he shows it all over his eyes up to his poise.

“There are still four candidates here on our platform, who will be our first runner up?” the emcee started to hype the people.

“Our first runner-up is from Class 12-B!” the emcee uttered cheerfully.

For a second I felt nervous about it. Ken looked at me and whispered,” We have this.” I proved that he’s confident about it and I let him be.

“Three candidates left, who will be our Mr. and Ms. Veatri Academy for this year? Would it be from Class 11-A?’” the emcee stated and the audience became more powerful in cheering their candidates.

“Or is it from Class 11-C?” the crowd’s noise became extremely powerful.

‘Or is it from Class 12-A?!” the emcee uttered and the crowd’s noise became deafening.

As of that moment, I gained back my full confidence and started to poise more beautifully.

“Okay let us not take this too long. Our Mr. and Ms. Veatri Academy for this year is none other than, Mr. Ken Ashton San Juan and Ms. Sayaka JIan Alcantara of Class 12-A,” the emcee uttered in a loud and cheerful manner.

The crowd’s noise is more deafening when Ken hugs me when he hears it. At that moment I was electrified by his body that caused shakiness in mine. I hugged him back and how much I wanted to express my feelings toward him. We received our awards and the photographer wants us to take a picture at the center.

I am still in shock. I look at him and he looks back at me and then I hear the shutter of the camera and flash towards us.

His gaze is something like he wants to read me but he can’t.

Should I be vocal about my feelings towards him?

Should I confess?