Everything Has Changed

In-denial

Before I pick up the phone and answer it, Ken’s huge frame suddenly appears. He takes his phone and answers the call. He immediately walks through the door and has a conversation with the so-called ‘princess’ in his life. I left here hanging while still looking where he exists earlier.

I grabbed the food he brought earlier and I saw a strawberry ice cream with heavy cream on top of it and a bit of strawberry and cherry. I opened it and started eating it. The soft fluffy ice cream melted in my mouth as I thought of everything. I suddenly feel frustrated when I continue to scoop on the ice cream cup when I have already finished eating.

I stood upon the stage’s floor where I picked to eat while I'm eating and grabbed my things to go home and left his things here. I bet he’ll come back here to grab his things too but I don’t want him to see me here if he comes back.

I decide to march on the exit door of the Auditorium and let myself stop thinking about it. As I open the door, exactly he’s coming in too. I looked at him and I was stoked for a few seconds but I managed to look away and had a conversation even though it feels awkward.

“I-I’m going home, goodbye, se-see you for to-tomorrow’s session,” I said while I stuttered because of the awkwardness covering us.

As I step outside the Auditorium he remains in that position and I am eager to get out of that place ‘cause I can’t breathe properly. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and in shock, I looked at him behind me. His eyes tell everything, it’s like it’s his way to talk to the person without saying anything just looking at them, he’ll know they all got what he wants to say.

“Wait for me, let us walk together,” he said in a serious tone and then he went inside the auditorium and grabbed his things.

We silently and slowly walk outside the campus. Luckily there are only a few students who are still here on the campus that seem to have no interest either in talking behind us. I cut all the awkwardness in us. I decided to talk to him casually like it doesn't bother me.

“Let us come early to school tomorrow, we should rehearse what we practice earlier and also we are conducting our session 2 so that we can dismiss early too,” I said in a casual way like how I talk to Joshua.

“Okay, I am good at it. I’ll just inform Princess about it later,” he said in a friendly tone.

All of the hard work to forget about that 'Princess' seems so worthless, now he’s bringing the topic but I shouldn’t ask because I don’t have any right and why should I bother myself if he got himself a girlfriend? I am just his partner in this contest nothing more nothing less.

Luck was on me that time, I saw my driver waiting for me and I said goodbye to him without him knowing that many thoughts were circling in my mind. I let myself be in my room for the past 2 hours I’m here. I laid down and let my tiredness out of my body and after that, I did my stuff in the comfort room.

After I did all the things I needed to do, I talked to my friends who seemed very stressed this week. I can’t be with them all the time because of the sessions I have to attend with Ken. The pageant is coming near and all we have to do is to practice well for us to own the title, for me to defend my title and for him to own the scholarship reward.

Savannah: Glad you have time for us.

Kylie: Look who’s here, our dear Saj. OMG, how’s working with Ken Ashton San Juan? hmm?

Me: Gosh, all these days you're still shipping me with that guy? seriously? by the way he’s fine to be with. He’s not hard to be with all the time.

Now I started to tell them the whole thing I did with Ken, even in the smallest detail they asked me about it. I can’t stand them, so I said to them goodbye and off my phone so that no one can disturb me now.

As the alarm rang, I suddenly wanted to sleep more but I remembered what I told Ken yesterday. I stood up and did my morning rituals with my eyes closed. I feel so tired from yesterday's session.

I slept in the car while I'm going to school. It felt so good and I suddenly felt hungry as the car stopped in the parking lot of the school. All of a sudden I crave a chocolate donut with sprinkles on top.

I walk out of the parking lot and let myself go to the cafeteria and eat. I ordered myself 2 pieces of a chocolate donut with pink sprinkles on top and 1 fresh orange juice.

I walked out of the cafeteria and went through the Auditorium to see if Ken was already there and I am not mistaken about it. He is standing on the right side of the stage and smiling so brilliantly while his left hand is in his pocket and the right hand is holding his phone.

I already knew who it was and I let them talk happily like no one could disturb them. I put my things on the couch where I also sat and let myself scroll onto the social media while gossiping on their conversation.

Oh Gosh, I am a gossiper now. I just can't gossip 'cause Ken speaks so loud and cheerful to her.

"Okay, fine Princess. I'll bring you one later, okay? See you. I love you," he said with a big smile and a cheerful way.

He ended the call and he looked at me now. He turns at me with his normal smile and not how he smiles when he talks to that girl.

I envy her, No! I'm not why would I.

"Let's start?" I said to drift my thoughts away from my head.

"Sure but, I guess you didn't eat breakfast at your home and bought it at the cafeteria but for a certain moment, you forgot to eat what you bought? You sure you're not hungry?" he said politely.

He walks out of the stage's auditorium and lets himself go to the couch where I sit. I should panic right now because this will be the start to surround us with the awkwardness stage.

"Eat first," he said in an authoritative tone.

He unpacks his things and lets out of his bag a bento box. He unwrapped it and I already smell the aroma of the kimbap from it. I saw Chicken nuggets and a Chicken Sandwich too.

"Did you cook all of that?" I said in an amazing tone.

My eyes are turning into a heart, I appreciate boys who know how to cook well and that's a good job for me.

"No, Princess cooked it but I can cook tomorrow if you want some food to eat," he said while letting himself be fed.

I immediately lost my cheerful manner and let myself eat the crispy chocolate donut. I sip ln to my fresh orange juice with the bits of orange on it with a crumpled face.

As we ate all along, I couldn't help but not to talk to him. I just ate what I brought and he ate him too. He looked at me then looked away and I am not bothered by that because what bothers me more are the thoughts battling in my mind.

We finished eating silently, my mood becomes a little bit frustrated right now and I don't know either what to do. I just want to finish this lesson for me to go home and sleep heavenly.

"Let's start," I uttered and walked through the stage.

"Are you okay, Sayaka?" he uttered in confusion while following me on the stage.

"Yeah, I'm all good. Let's just start on our session," I said while bringing a fake smile on my face.

"Okay then," was the last word he said and he focused on the session we have.

Lunchtime and we decided to take our lunch separately. Correction, I decided and he follows it because it is an order from me. I just want to focus my attention on others.

My friends and I are having a good lunch meal at a restaurant near the school. I divert my attention from what we are talking about right now and I feel great.

We are here at a Filipino Restaurant Cuisine and we ordered my favorite Kare-Kare and Crispy Pork Sinigang for our main course and a Halo-Halo for our dessert.

"I don't know why he's stalking me but I bet he falls on my beauty and can't get rid of it," Serenity uttered with a confident tone while sipping on his Iced red gulaman juice.

"Don't be so ridiculous Serenity. Don't be so involved with boys! They're not good, they are stupid and manipulative at our age. You can like them but don't date them," Ayesha said in a bored tone and sip the soup.

"Like you know everything so well Ayesha? hmm, speaking from experience?" Savannah teased her and browsed her phone again and took a picture of the food.

"Don't hit on her Sav, you know her," Kylie stated while holding her laugh not to burst.

"Guys, you are so funny. I wish I had a huge amount of time to be with you," I said in a sad tone with puppy eyes.

"We understand your plan, Saj. We know too that you're doing what you love and we are here to support you always," Kylie stated and these four girls pated me.

I am very thankful for these four girls who understand me so well. Even though we are not having the same kind of attitude we adjust and support each other's life. I have had them since we were in Junior High and I love to grow with them.

After a short time bond with them, I uttered that I'll go first and they already know why. They cheered me up and let me excuse myself.

I went to the powder room first and glanced at the mirror and took a retouch first before going back to school.

I went out of the restaurant where we ate and the weather looks so fine, it suits well and perfect for a walk. As I continue to walk on the gutter there are small flowers that are planted on the side of it. It sways beautifully as the wind blows them.

I discovered the beauty of every flower that is planted here on the side of the gutter. I looked for more flowers on the right side of the road and I saw something familiar.

Walking happily on the right gutter of the road and with someone who's a beautiful and petite girl. I pause for a moment to analyze what I saw.

He's just talking with his so-called princess earlier and now he is with someone and he gave his smile and cheerfulness all of a sudden?

I couldn't help but walk away and went to the Auditorium as fast as I could. Why the hell am I acting like this? Should I feel this thing? No, I am just concerned about that princess. This is not too much because if I were that princess too she should do the same thing for me.

I sat on the couch and analyzed everything I saw. From that moment and from what I am feeling right now. I hate what I feel right now, I am not the one who's being dumped by but I felt that I am.

Gosh, Saj, don't mind their lives, if that is then you shouldn't be involved. I can't help but the thoughts in my mind are battling right now.

I do a facepalm out of frustration and suddenly a man went through the Auditorium and he looked at me with a confused emotion planted on his face.

I can't contain my emotions right now and it sucks as I continue to deny them to myself.

I think I like him.