Everything Has Changed

Close to You

My footprint draws beautifully on the white sand as I go to the shore and see how beautiful the sun is when it goes down.

"It was a wonderful night, right Dad?" I said happily to the old man on the right side of me, giving me a warm-hearted smile.

"Jian, I didn't get why you love sunset so much? Do you know what is the meaning of it ?" my Dad said while sitting on the pure white sand and looking at the far side of the beach.

I never knew the real and true meaning of the sunset, I just loved to be with my Dad and he always comes home when the sun is setting, that's why.

"Dad, I don't care about the real meaning of the sunset. I just want you to know that I loved sunsets because you always come home when the sun is setting, so I guess?" I said in an energetic and lovely tone.

Dad is my biggest fan, also Dad was my first best friend that I can rely on. He never fails to be my Dad and a Friend at the same time. He is my living diary and I love it. As I said those words, he smiles at me while his eyes are starting to let go of the tears he is holding on to earlier.

"I am hoping that my Jian will never know what sunset means. 'Cause Dad will be in pain if you'll be hurt," he said while holding my cheeks like he missed doing those things.

I don't know how to respond to what he said. All I can do is to look at him as if it was the last time I'll look at him that near and that intimate. I didn't know that the tears started falling on my cheeks. I feel so numb that I can't feel my whole body.

I look at my hands where Dad's hand is. Why do I feel so numb? Why can't I feel anything? As I looked up directly at my Father's face, all of a sudden it became blurry and within a second it faded away.

I was knocked down after I talked to Shua last night. I was very tired yesterday because I slept too fast.

I woke up teary-eyed and with a heavy heart. It is a rainy day and all I can hear is the raindrops outside of the house and I can see the droplets formed outside of the window.

I stood up and went near the window to look upon the rain. Rain gives a sad vibe to me, by how it formed as a droplet on my window, by how rain gives cold weather and a lazy day.

"I am hoping that my Jian will never know what sunset means. 'Cause Dad will be in pain if you'll be hurt."

Upon hearing that word my Dad gives me heartache. I miss him so much, even in my dream I thought it was real. I wish I could see him again, even if it is just a dream.

I look away from near my window, I charge my phone that was broken last night and I went to the bathroom to do my morning rituals. As I let myself move on about what was my dream all about, I remember the guy who I'd called last night.

After I took a bath, I asked myself why did I call him again? I don't even remember freaking tired yesterday that I ended up having short-term Amnesia.

Gosh, I am overacting.

I suddenly remember why my phone beeps when it starts to have a battery charged.

Ken:

Why did you call?

I don't know how to say to him that I am concerned about his health, also I don't want to meddle in his life.

I opened my phone and I started typing what am I going to reply to him as if he does care about it. I groaned in confusion.

Me:

Did you sleep well? Ms. Armie told me yesterday that you had a cold? Are you fine, Ken?

I groaned again and I do facepalm in confusion. Did it sent? Is that okay to say? As if I am concerned about him.

But.

Wait.

Did I?

I don't know what I should feel right now. I don't know what this feeling is inside of my stomach. Yes, I do have a lot of crushes and there are boys on our campus that get linked to me but it's not true.

I let myself be busy at my lectures, I do the advanced reading and I finish all the tasks given by our teachers. After all of that, I don't even let him bother me by thinking about him.

After several days, the weather becomes fine. For the past 7 days, I have let myself be busy with something I love to do. I decided to force myself to don't be bothered by thinking of him even for a single second. That's what my motivation is.

It's Wednesday today and I do my morning rituals before I go to school. I am excited but also frustrated because for sure there are lots of school works that will be given by our teachers. I know that this week will be a good hell week.

After long deep thoughts circling on my mind for a couple of minutes while I am walking here on our campus. I suddenly remember what Ken did to protect me from those bad guys, I suddenly felt some butterflies playing on my stomach when I thought about him.

At first, I thought about him differently, I judged him the way he looks outside but I guess I am wrong. He’s just proving each day that he is not like all of the boys that I know will take advantage of the girls and has no respect like the guys who he did save me.

The air is dancing in the corridor that caught the attention of the fallen leaves and sway again as it goes with the flow, so do I. I am amazed to see the campus after a whole week of class suspension. I walk through the corridor and let the air hug me tightly. When someone in his uniform caught my attention. He is walking on to me and my feet just got locked up and I can’t even take at least a step to fight for what I am feeling right now.

He gives me a beautiful smile that I rarely see on him, he is walking on to me with his hands in his pockets and the wind is after him.

“Good Morning partner, I was already told by our Adviser to go to the faculty room when you’re at the campus. She said it is an urgent matter, about the competition I guess.” Ken said while smiling but as I look upon his eyes there are still the signs that he got sick.

I can’t stand it. I badly want to know how he feels today, Is he even sick? Does he even drink and take his medicine when he gets sick? I suddenly regret letting him be alone in the classroom without asking him if he’s okay? I think it is my fault I let him be drowned by the rain on that day and I didn’t even care! Gosh, Saj.

“Are you alright? Did you get my chat? I got a call from our Adviser 7 days ago. That’s why I called you randomly but I didn’t also get a chance to speak to you because a friend of mine is at our house that night and after that, I didn’t get a chance again because I am very sleepy, sorry.” I said while checking upon his neck and forehead if it is hot.

“Oh! yeah, I got a chat from you but I couldn’t reply because I sleep and burden myself on the bed to feel better, don’t blame yourself it's not your fault. As if people didn’t get sick.” He took my hand out of his neck and said, ”Do you usually let your friend be with your house especially at night when it is not an urgent matter?” He said without breaking his sentence and he looked away.

I got shocked by what he said and then I paused for a moment thinking how should I properly react to what he said to me. I shrugged my head with a confused emotion. “ He’s just a close friend of mine and I don’t think there’s a bad thing about it?” I said while slowly delivering all of the words to know if it is an appropriate word to let go.

He looks at me with a sock written on his face but he looks away immediately and murmurs, “Oh, boy.” I think he doesn’t know that I heard him saying that but I immediately walk towards the Faculty Room.

As we walk towards the faculty room, he is just behind me silently walking and following the directions I path through. Moment by, our Teacher saw us walking in front of the faculty room and told us to wait on the couch of the faculty’s waiting area. I look at him while he’s sitting on the next couch. He folds his arms and he closes his eyes while leaning on the couch.

He is so intimidating right now, I can’t believe what’s wrong with my answer earlier?

“Ms. Alcantara and Mr. San Juan, you are excused for the whole week of your class due to the contest you are in. I already talked to your subject teachers and they agreed on it. So everything you have to do is to practice for your runaway shots, Talents, and your costumes. Be confident and do a great job, Goodluck my representatives!" she gives a motivational sentence before exiting the waiting room.

Ms. Armie gives us the things we need to use to do the practice session for today. She lends us also the things that we might need in the whole class lessons. She gave us the handbooks we need to learn for this week’s lesson so that we are not going to be late for the topic.

I know how to handle the contest very well, I stand up and let myself be in the auditorium to practice everything well. He followed me and he learned the basics very fast and well. I agree that he’s not an amateur on pageants. We practiced till afternoon, we forgot the time.

“What time are we going home, Sayaka?’ Ken asked me while he was fixing his things in his backpack.

“Let us end this session until 5 pm,” I said while holding my tumbler and let myself have water to be hydrated.

Our last one hour is very fast, he learned everything that I said to him and he does follow too. I know him every single day that we’re together. I already know that he is a gentleman and caring but right now I know him as a well-dedicated person and he loves to do everything for his studies. I admire him for that.

I immediately sit on the stage floor after we finish our session today. I browse my phone and let myself be relaxed while reading all the messages I got. when Ken goes out of the auditorium and buys some food for himself.

I laugh at the videos and photos I saw on social media. I suddenly forgot what to do after the session for today. As I closed my phone and I fixed my things to be ready to go home, a phone suddenly rang. At first, I thought it was my phone but after I got my phone on the stage’s floor it’s not the phone that rings.

I browsed where did Ken put his phone and I saw it on the couch near his things. I thought it’s just his mom or friends but I guess I was wrong.

Calling…

Princess