Just One Date

Chapter 14 - aftershocks

It's been a twelve hour travel to Ilocos and I'm tired. Physically, at least. Kahit ilang oras lang ang tulog ko the night before dahil almost midnight na kami dumating ni Ethan , hindi masakit ang ulo ko nang ginising ako ni Bethany para umalis. It's the first time in a long while na hindi ko kinailangan uminom ng chamomille tea para lang makatulog.

I surprisingly had a good time sa date na iyon. Noon lang ulit ako nag-enjoy ng ganoon. Noon ko rin lang ulit nakita ang totoong Ethan, ang Ethan na minahal ko bilang kaibigan noong bata pa ako.

The date was amazing.

And so was Ethan.

Have we met in another situation, siguro I could have liked him. Kung hindi lang siya palaging parang asungot na ipinagpipilitan ni Kuya, malamang matagal ko na siyang sinagot.

"Ano ba, Bethany, nakikinig ka ba?" I exclaimed and threw her a small teddy bear because she's not paying attention.

I was telling her about the children at Light & Hope Learning Center but she could barely keep her eyes open.

"Parang awa mo na insan, patulugin mo na ako! Hindi ko alam kung saang lupalop ng mundo nanggagaling ang walang ubos na energy mo pero suko na ako! Pasado alas onse na! I'm exhausted!" she begged while hiding her head under a pillow.

I pulled the pillow away from her grasp and hurled it across her room to the couch.

"Teka muna, kapatid ni Gavin nga iyong isang cute na bata doon, si Gabby! Hindi ka ba interesado?" I asked.

"Antok na antok na ako Fen at pagod na pagod sa byahe! Kahit kapatid pa ni Obama iyan wala na akong pakiaalam!" she replied as she transferred to the couch.

Usually ay gabi kami bumibyahe papuntang Ilocos para tutulog lang kami magdamag ay pagdating doon ay umaga na. Ganoon ang ginawa namin last year noong sumama ako rito para na rin dumalaw kay Tito Gene na kapatid ni Mama. Pero nagtaka ako ng ginising niya ako kanina ng maaga. Sabi niya kailangang gising ako sa biyahe para maikwento ko sa kanya lahat na nangyari sa date namin ni Ethan.

"Diba sabi mo you need to hear everything about the date? Hindi pa ako tapos!" I protested and followed her to the sofa.

"May baon ka bang chamomille tea? Pwede bang tirahin mo na lahat para matulog ka na at huwag mo na akong kulitin? Ibibili na lang kita ng kapalit bukas sa bayan!"

I laughed as she hugged the pillow tight and went back to bed to avoid me. Natawa naman ako sa itsura niya habang pikit na lumalakad balik sa kama kaya hinayaan ko na siya.

I went to the washroom to clean myself up and brush my teeth. Kailangan ko na nga rin palang matulog para makapasyal kami bukas.

I checked my phone one last time as I laid beside Bethany who's already fast asleep.

Bakit kaya hindi pa nagte-text si Ethan?

Kanina nang umalis kami ni Bethany ay sarado pa ang bahay niya at patay pa ang ilaw. Hindi siya nagtext ng good morning at maghapon rin siyang hindi tumawag. Wala ring goodnight text from him.

Tinotoo kaya niya talaga? Titigilan na nga ba niya ako?

Nah.

If I know, nagpapa-miss lang iyon.

I included Ethan in my prayers this time and slept with a smile on my face. May hangover pa yata ako ng date namin kahapon at dala ko pa rin ang saya na naramdaman ko habang kasama ko siya the whole day.

When I woke up the next day, tulog pa rin si Bethany sa tabi ko as I squinted at the clock.

6 a.m.

I immediately reached out for my cellphone above the side table when it beeped.

I'm sure it's Ethan. Siya lang naman ang nagtetext sa akin ng ganito kaaga. Hindi na siguro siya nakatiis.

Or not.

I don't know why seeing Tyrone's name on the screen of my cellphone didn't cheer me up. Maybe because I wasn't expecting it.

"Sinong nagtext?" Bethany startled me.

"Si Tyrone," I replied simply.

She turned sideways to face me and propped her head on one hand.

"E bakit parang hindi ka masaya?"

I straightened up at her question and reminded myself that I should be happy. After all, I have an upcoming date with my first love who finally noticed me.

"Anong hindi? Kinikilig kaya ako! Alangan namang tumili ako e akala ko tulog ka pa?"

She looked at me suspiciously.

"That's not how you look when you told me all about your date with Ethan yesterday. Buong byahe nakangisi ka."

I rolled my eyes.

"You're reading too much of everything. Kakagising ko lang couz, hindi pa masyadong gumagana ang kilig hormones ko dahil maaga pa."

Bethany laid back and shook her head.

"Ang sabihin mo, something changed inside of you after that one date. Baka nagbago na ang pagtingin mo kay Ethan. Baka dati mo na pala siyang mahal tapos ngayon mo lang na-discover."

It was my turn to shake my head. Wala pa akong kayang aminin sa sarili ko at wala akong aaminin sa kanya. Oo nag-enjoy ako at na-appreciate ko si Ethan pero hindi ko pa masabi kung inlove na nga ako sa kanya.

"Insan, tigilan mo na iyang kakanood ng mga telenovela sa TV, nasosobrahan ka na. It's doing crazy things to your imagination."

She laughed and was about to say something nang may kumatok sa pinto at dumungaw ang Mama ni Bethany.

"Good morning Tita Zeny!" bati ko.

"Handa na ang almusal, Fen. At ikaw Bethany, bumangon ka na diyan, may bisita ka."

Tinatamad na uminat si Bethany sa tabi ko bago humikab.

"Sino ba yan Mama, ang aga aga naman. Inaantok pa ako, pakisabi po bumalik na lang."

Nameywang si Tita Zeny bago pumasok at hinila ang kumot ng anak niya.

"Galing pa ng Maynila iyong tao, pababalikin ko?"

"Ano po?" sabay na tanong namin.

"Si Tyler nandiyan sa baba kaya bumangon ka na at kawawa naman, mukhang wala pang tulog."

Biglang itinapon ni Bethany ang kumot niya at kunot-noong bumangon.

"Anong ginagawa rito ng lintik na lalaking iyon?" angil niya bago buksan ang pinto.

"Hanggang dito ba naman bubwisitin mo ako?" malakas na sabi niya habang bumababa ng hagdan.

"Bethany my love!" Tyler greeted instead as he stood up, ignoring my cousin's angry tone.

Nakapamewang na hinarap ni Bethany si Tyler bago pinandilatan.

"Sinong nagsabi sa iyo na pwede mo akong sundan rito? Paano mo malamang nandito ako?"

Napakamot sa ulo si Tyler pero ngumiti ng senyasan siya ni Tita Zeny na maupo.

"Narinig ko kay Tyrone na sasama si Fenella sa iyo sa Ilocos," he replied.

Bumaling sa akin si Bethany na ngayon ay naniningkit ang mata pero nagkibit balikat lamang ako.

"Nabanggit ko lang kay Tyrone kasi nga diba, nagyayaya siyang lumabas. Malay ko bang ganyan katindi ang pagmamahal sa iyo ni Tyler at hanggang rito ay manliligaw sya?"

Lumakad na ako papunta sa kusina para sundan si Tita Zeny habang inaaway ni Bethany si Tyler.

"Tingnan mo iyang pinsan mo, kung gaano kabait sa mga pasyente niya, ganoon naman kasungit kay Tyler," ani Tita Zeny sabay abot sa akin ng tinimpla niyang hot chocolate.

"Oo nga po. Okay naman po iyang si Tyler, kaibigan rin siya ni Kuya Brett," I commented before taking a sip.

Mas masarap ang timpla ni Ethan.

Bethany was being harsh. Ang layo ng byahe nung tao para lang makita siya tapos aawayin lang niya pagdating rito. Nakakaawa tuloy si Tyler.

Then it suddenly dawned on me na ganoon rin ang ginagawa ko kay Ethan.

Sorry, Ethan. I'll treat you better from now on, I promise, I said in my mind.

"Mukhang mabait naman yung tao, magalang at napaka-tiyaga. Naiinis si Bethany dahil playboy daw iyan pero lahat naman ng tao nagbabago lalo na para sa pag-ibig. Tsaka mukha namang desidido, ilang taon na ring nanliligaw iyan sa kanya. Bihira na ang ganoong mga lalaki, hindi ba Fenella?"

Bihira na talaga ang gaya ni Tyler.

At ni Ethan.

Parang nakikita ko si Ethan kay Tyler na nagsusumamo habang pilit siyang itinataboy ni Bethany. At nakikita ko rin ang sarili ko sa pinsan ko na bulag sa pagtitiis ng lalaking nasa harap niya.

Oh God, how could I have been so cruel to Ethan?

"Hindi ba, Fen?" ulit ni Tita Zeny, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Ahh...opo. Opo nga. I think Bethany should give Tyler a chance."

They're still in the middle of argument nang dumating si Tito Gene pero walang nagawa si Bethany nang alukin ng Papa niya si Tyler para sumalo sa almusal at imbitahan ito na sumama sa pamamasyal ngayong araw.

"That's not how we treat our visitors, Bethany," Tito Gene reprimanded habang nakasimangot ang only daughter niya.

"Correction Papa, bwisita iyan, hindi bisita," came Bethany's stubborn reply na para bang wala sa harap niya si Tyler.

"Anak, nagpapakatao si Tyler kaya pakiharapan mo ng maayos. Hindi ka na bata. May tinapos ka pa naman, act professional, would you?"

Sa sinabing iyon ni Tito Gene ay hindi na umimik si Bethany at tahimik na kumain.

Despite of the tension, we enjoyed the breakfast Tita Zeny prepared for all of us and got ready to leave.

When we got in the car, Bethany intentionally made me sit in between her and Tyler.

"All ready to go?" Tito Gene asked from the driver's seat with Tita Zeny by her side.

"Opo!" we replied in unison kahiy parang nawalan na ng gana si Bethany.

"Insan, kasama ko sana si Tyrone kaso wala siyang nagawa nung pinilit siyang isama ni Papa sa isang entrepreneur convention sa Davao."

I looked at him suspiciously.

"At ikaw, hindi napilit?"

He gave me a lopsided grin and shook his head.

"Nah. Hindi ko linya yun, much to my father's disappointment."

May laman ang sinabing iyon ni Tyler but he didn't dwell on it and I didn't want to pry.

I spent the next hour of travel trying to accomodate Bethany and Tyler's different topics of conversation. Ayaw nilang mag-usap pero panay ang pasabi nila sa isa't-isa ng kung ano-ano kaya sa halip na mag-enjoy ako sa scenery ay gulong-g**o ako sa kanilang dalawa.

"Sabihin mo diyan sa katabi mo, may terminal ng bus sa kabilang kanto kaya bumaba na siya dahil wala siyang tutuluyan mamayang gabi," ani Bethany.

Hindi ko pa nasasabi kay Tyler ay umimik na agad ito.

"Pakisabi Fen sa pinsan mo, nasa bahay nila ang bag ko at ini-offer na sa akin ng Mama niya ang guest room."

Bubuka pa lamang ang bibig ko nang suminghal si Bethany.

"Sabihin mo ang kapal ng mukha niya!"

Nang tumigil kami sa isang gasoline station at bumaba si Bethany para mag-CR at sumiksik ako sa gilid ng bintana. I asked Tyler to sit in the middle para makatabi niya ang pinsan ko and he was delighted.

I ignored Bethany's death stare when she came back and found out about the sudden change of sitting arrangement. Wala rin naman siyang nagawa nang sabihan siya ni Tito Gene na sumakay na para makaalis na kami.

I enjoyed the scenery as we travelled along. I looked out of the window the whole time.

We went to see the Kapurpurawan Rock Formations first. It was amazing. At kahit kasing-init ng ulo ni Bethany ang panahon, I managed to appreciate the site.

Ganito na ba talaga kaganda ang langit noon pa? The clear sky and fluffy clouds made the view even more perfect, reminding me of that day we spent at Light & Hope Learning Center. It was Ethan's idea na maglaro ng Cloud Game and we spent an hour lying on the soft grass habang una-unahan ang mga bata na magsabi kung ano ang nakikita nilang shapes sa ulap. The kids let their imaginations run wild and Ethan would smile upon hearing them laugh.

It took a while before we arrived at Bangui to see the popular Windmills. I was awestruck. The windmills looked ten times prettier seen live than in postcards. Last year noong sumama ako kay Bethany ay hindi ako nakarating rito kaya excited akong makita ito. But now I think mas enjoy siguro kung kasama si Ethan. I'm sure kung nandito siya ay may mga trivia siya kung paano nag-ge-generate ng electricity ang mga windmills na ito.

Kahit na bad mood pa rin si Bethany dahil panay ang sunod ni Tyler sa kanya, the view cheered her up. Para silang may lovers' quarrel dahil panay ang iwas ni Bethany at panay naman ang habol ng isa.

I shook my head at them and wonder how many times I did the same to Ethan. He surely wasted a lot of times running after me.

But that's over now.

I busied myself taking pictures, thinking that I could just show Ethan how wonderful Ilocos is through the photographs.

After a few more minutes, we left the place and continued our trip. When we crossed the 1.2 kilometer Patapat Bridge, the amazing view of the sea and majestic mountain in a zigzag road left me breathless. It's my all time favorite site in Ilocos and I couldn't help but wish Ethan could see it as I peered out the window. He would surely love the view.

Kung nandito lang sana siya.

"Insan, are you with us?" I suddenly heard Bethany say, stretching her arm past Tyler to slap my shoulder.

"Ha?"I asked, totally clueless.

"Kanina ka pang tinatanong ni Mama kung ano raw gusto mong kainin pero parang nasa malayo ang isip mo. Pangiti-ngiti ka pa, mukha kang baliw."

I heaved a sigh as I leaned back on the seat. May aftershocks pa yata sa akin ang date namin ni Ethan. I could still feel the tremors. Siya rin kaya? Hindi na siya nagparamdam after that date habang ako, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I couldn't stop wishing he's here with me now.

"Kahit ano po, hindi po ako pihikan," I replied.

"Sa boyfriend lang pihikan yan Mama," Bethany joked and raised her brows at me.

I narrowed my eyes at her, threw Tyler a side glance and looked back to gave her a smug smile.

"Look who's talking. You think it runs in the family?" I asked with a wink.

That made her shut up.

It was already past 1pm when we arrived at Pagudpud Beach. Tito Gene ordered grilled food and salad for lunch while Tita Zeny gave Tyler and I a piece of Ilocos history. Bethany would add some infos once in a while and Tyler gawked at her as if she was the smartest goddess as she speaks.

The meal was nice but not as tasty as the dinner Ethan ordered for us.

When we walked down the shore, the white sand immediately reminded me of the paradise where Ethan took me. Memories of our dinner and how we danced under the stars came flooding in.

I remember how he held me close that night, how he kept me in a tight but gentle embrace, and how I felt so safe locked in his arms.

It was also during that time na tinanong ko siya kung anong nagustuhan niya sa akin at bakit niya ako minahal.

Ang sabi niya marami raw reason and I laughed at his response because I honestly can't think of anything.

"That's one of the reasons," I remember him saying.

Then he told me that he loved the way I laugh. I always thought na wa-poise ang tawa ko but he said he adored it - iyong tawa ko raw na bigay na bigay, totoong-totoo at no reservations.

Sabi niya wala raw akong arte. Ang alam ko walang babae na walang arte sa katawan pero hindi raw ako gaya ng iba na hindi makaalis ng bahay ng walang make-up. He said I was simple and that made me beautiful.

Mabait raw akong anak. Kahit raw sumisimangot ako minsan, ginagawa ko pa rin ang duties ko sa bahay at sa shop. Pati pagkanta ko na kahit wala sa puso ay na-appreciate niya because he understands that I'm doing it out of obedience.

Sabi pa niya, practical raw ako. Hindi gaya ng mga classmates ko na addict sa gadgets. Kahit raw alam ko na kaya akong ibili ng magulang ko ng mga latest gadgets, hindi ako humihingi at nakukuntento ako sa kung anong ibinibigay nina Mama sa akin. He never mentioned na nagastusan ang magulang ko dahil hindi ako naka-graduate on time sa kakalipat ko ng course.

And he said I was honest. Ni minsan raw hindi ko siya pinaasa o ginamit kahit alam kong patay na patay siya sa akin. He said I never pretended that I liked him just so I could use him. Hindi niya binanggit that I was harsh in the way I treat him.

But more than anything else, he said that he doesn't need a reason to love me. He just does. No justifications needed. It just happened.

Marami pa siyang sinabi other than that - mga bagay na hindi ko naisip na good qualities ko pero napansin niya. He sees a lot of good things in me that I never knew existed. Ni hindi ko naisip na mabuting tao ako pero the way he describes me makes me feel like I'm a good person. He sees things diferently at nakakahanap siya ng magagandang traits ko out of the ordinary simply because mahal niya ako.

That made me value myself more. Pakiramdam ko palagi ako ang black sheep ng family but he made me feel like I'm actually a good daughter.

He also changed the way I see the world, literally and figuratively. I appreciate the wonders of nature that I never even paid attention to before.

All of a sudden, I notice that the sky has the most beautiful shade of blue, even the most simple flower creates the most vibrant colors and the birds sing quite a wonderful melody.

Even my perspective in life changed because of Ethan. I'm starting to see things the way he sees it - beautiful, interesting, worth living.

Right, I'm suffering from the aftereffects of that date.

Because I think I'm ready to give Ethan a real chance this time.