Ode to my 12 year old self

I could hear that amazing 'nadaswaram' only heard at the weddings. There were flowers everywhere. Rose petals adorned the path on which I walked. I was not sure where I was, but it felt good to be here. The people all seemed to be surprised to see me. I didn't know why but they all felt familiar to me even though I couldn't remember their names. "Ammu, here you are. Do you know how long I have been trying to find you?", a voice seemed to come from my left. When I turned around there was no one there. Hmmm... who does this voice belong to? Suddenly I felt as if someone pushed me. As I was falling face down to the ground I couldn't help but let out a small scream. I closed my eyes and waited for the floor to make impact, but it never came. "Did you stop dreaming or what?", I heard a chuckling sound and slowly opened my eyes. The bright light made it impossible to see who was standing over me, but I could sense that I was lying down- not in floor laid with rose petals, but my comfy bed on which I slept last night." You know Amma thinks you are not so little anymore. So sleeping till it's almost noon might not be the best way to start your vacation." The owner of this annoying voice, my friends, is my fantastic elder sister Radhika. You know how some families have perfectly happy sisters who are heart and soul of each other, well, we are nothing like that. Infact the only thing other than family that we have in common is good grades. Thank god for that or otherwise I would only have time to hear my parents say ' look at your sister'. We don't really talk to each other a lot and that is a good thing from my mom's perspective as we end up fighting every time we do talk. This would have been one of those times had I woken up for real. Good for her that I was still captivated by my dream to bark at her. It felt so real and my grandma says dreams that happen at dawn will happen in real life. Although it was not dawn now maybe it was when I started dreaming. Who knows? As you can see I tend to think a lot and get carried away, so while my brain was busy cooking up thoughts, the rest of my body had begun the morning routine. I had put down my toothbrush and admired my face for a few seconds in the mirror when ,"AMMU... GET DOWN HERE. THE FOOD IS GOING COLD. THE FLIES ARE GONNA HAVE YOUR MEAL IF YOU LEAVE IT IN OPEN", uh, my mom bellowed from the kitchen. You see, it's not that we cannot hear each other while talking in small voices. We just tend to yell at each other from opposite corners of the house. How convenient! Besides our house was kind of located in a remote place, so neighbours can't register a complaint. But how do flies enter a perfectly sealed house? I always wanted to ask her that, but knew better than to really do. I mean, a scowl from her is enough for my curiosity. If it were any other day I would have rushed down and gulped down as much as I could in a few minutes. Not today. For today is the first day of my summer vacation. So I gave myself a smile in the mirror and slowly walked down to the dining table where my whole family was already seated. This might be a good oppurtunity to introduce my family. You already know my sister. I also live with my parents and my grandparents from my mothers side. Oh, we live at my mothers ancestral home which her mother inherited from her father. Which is weird because it is not very common for women to inherit houses here in India and even weirder for the husband to live in his wifes home when he himself owns a house. I think it is great to break those stereotypes but the sole reason this happened is because my grandparents are pretty old and they would rather stay at the home they built than move around with their children who needs to travel for their job. The reason I said it was weird is because my grandma had 5 perfectly capable brothers and 2 sons, all in good state. It is kind of traditional for the guys in the family to take care of their elders and inherit the house while the daughters in the family took care of their in-laws and got the same from her husband's side. Now I am not saying this doesn't make sense because it perfectly did in those old days when everyone had lots of children and atleast one was a boy. But what if you don't have any sons? Like how my parents have only us two daughters. Yeah, they didn't really think it through now, did they? Oh my god! I once again went on babbling, didn't I? "Ammu, where are your table manners? Is this how you sit in front of your elders?", Amma's words hit me in the back of my head and I once again came to my senses. "Oho Amma, there is no one here but our family. Do I seriously have to act like a lady? Come on Acha, is there anything wrong with the way I sit?". Needless to say my father was shook to be brought into the conversation, because he himself prefered comfort and sat however he wanted at the table. "No way dear, why do you have to pick on her first thing in the morning? She deserves some rest you know." I secretly smiled as my father came to my help and gave him a wink when Amma was not noticing. "Yeah come to her rescue, it is you who spoils her. Don't come running to me when she lands in trouble." Mom's retort was such a used phrase that it no longer had any effect on us. Dad smiled and gave me a thumbs up below the table. Grandfather just lowered the newspaper he was reading to acknowledge me and went back to reading. My sister didn't concern herself over this small banter and went on eating. Grandma was the only one who seemed to support my mom and gave me a look of disapproval. I smiled sweetly at her until she couldn't resist my charm and gave me a kiss on my head before retiring to her room. There really were so many advantages to being the youngest in your family. I began to pick at my food as my parents started to talk. "I am really not sure whether Dr. Vivek took the right decision. I mean is it worth to leave your home and family just for a better paying job?" "What do you know Lekshmi? It is not the salary but the experience that matters. Besides not everyone gets such oppurtunities, you know." "You may be right, but it was good to have him around. I mean I don't think anyone can replace him, he was so good with children." "Ah, I forgot to tell you. They already found a replacement. The new doctor might join before the end of this week." "What! already? They are well prepared, I must say. Do you know who it is?" " I met him at the last IMA meeting. He is around from this part, but has been in Kozhikode for a few years." "If he is from around here maybe I know him. Do you remember his name?" (I was absently listening and snorted at this part, you see my father is very bad at remebering names.) " I don't. But no worries, there is plenty of time to get to know each other." " I guess there is. And what about his family? Is he married?" "I believe so, because he has a son who is Ammu's age." I had already finished eating my food and seeing that my parents were talking about something that I had no interest in listening to I decided to take my leave. But I couldn't help wondering how it felt to live in Kozhikode. I had only heard of the place in films and knew that the food there was amazing. Maybe I should ask my dad to take me to Kozhikode for my vacation. Although I was not sure if it had any tourist attractions like museums or palaces worth visiting it can't be all bad if these many films were shooted there right? As I was pondering over the destination of my imaginary travels I bumped into my sister. "Watch where you are going ,shortie", she scolded me. Ah, my eternal sorrow. Though we are merely 2 years apart from each other by birth, we are separated by a whole foot in length. They all say I will eventually become as tall as her but she was a lot taller than me, when she was my age. Don't know when that is gonna happen. "Maybe you should watch your tongue, monkey face." The words were out of my mouth in the split of a second. After which followed a glare contest on who can stare down the other. After what seemed to be 10 minutes (but in real was one minute) of silence she broke the glare.  "I don't have time for your stupid games. Move. I have to go get ready." "Ready for what?" "Did you forget, Oh Ms.I am so Perfect."she smirked. "Well when you are as good as me, you ought to forget a few things otherwise, others will cast an eye on me" "Since you forgot, I suppose getting new dress for the wedding is not that important. Afterall its not like it is your wedding"  with that she turned around and flew up the stairs. That's right, the wedding. How could I forget it. It is because of the wedding that I had to say goodbye to all my vacation plans this summer. The reason why I won't be going to Kozhikode anytime soon. I guess in the excitement of my morning fantasies I forgot why my dream was about a wedding, that too so realistic. It is all everyone in this house has talked about since last week. The one who is getting married is my mother's cousin sister. But as you know Indian weddings are huge affairs. Since my Amma is one of the 20 cousins the bride has you would think who would notice if one just doesn't attend. Sadly for us we are the core family which inherited the ancestral home and is hence connected to all the people more deeply with sentimental values. Which means I will be one of the bridesmaids, Isn't that wonderful? What I hate about these weddings is that a lot of people are involved, most of whom I don't even know. Yet I have to pretend to know and smile to each one of them. But it is fun to hang out with the other children you see. Even though I don't know everyone, I know a dozen second cousins and third cousins with whom I can be myself. My own cousins are a little too young. "Ammu, why are you just standing here. Don't you see your sister has already gotten ready. When are you gonna do anything without me telling you to do it." "Amma, Do I really have to come?" "What kind of a question is that! Ofcourse you have to come. What else do you plan to do by yourself in this house?" "But Granpa isn't coming right, why can't I keep him company?" "He is not coming because he has some other function to attend with his friends. Or would you rather go with him to meet his friends" I quickly weighed my options, and decided that choosing clothes is much less tiresome than greeting some strangers. Afterall I need to save my energy to do that at the wedding. "Fine then, I will get ready" It didn't really make much of a difference whether I went with them or not. After all me and my sister and our cousin are all gonna wear the same thing just different sizes. So why bother taking me along?Still I can't really reason with my mother. As I thought about what awaits me for this much awaited summer I couldn't help but wish I was older so I could take my own decisions..