The Wife He Never Wanted

Lila. I step out of my car and walk slowly toward the mansion. My hands shake and sweat covers my skin. I still cannot believe it is done. I am finally divorced from him. The papers sit inside my bag as proof. His car sits in the driveway. My stomach tightens at the sight. He did not send any message. He never does. I have grown used to it. I have grown used to him acting like I do not exist. I push the door open and enter the house. My son’s laughter reaches me right away. It feels warm and bright. It is the only sound that makes me feel loved. In the living room Liam sits next to his father on the couch. They lean over the phone together and laugh at something on the screen. Their heads stay close. The picture looks easy and natural. It still hurts me to see it. “Mom!” Liam calls when he notices me. “Dad came to pick me up early.” “I see that,” I say and force a smile. Damien looks up at me. His face shows nothing. “Your phone was off.” “I was at the lawyer’s office,” I answer in a flat voice. “I went to collect the final divorce papers.” He frowns. “You could have told me.” I say nothing. I place my bag on the table and walk down the hallway to change into comfortable clothes. When I come back I hear their voices before I reach the room. “Why are you and Mom getting a divorce?” Liam asks quietly. I stop in place. My hands press against my chest. His sad voice breaks my heart. I would do anything for him but this divorce had to happen. Our marriage was a mistake from the start. It took me a long time to accept that truth. “It is complicated,” Damien says. “How?” Liam asks. “You are either together or you are not.” Damien breathes out slowly. “You know why Liam. Your mother and I are not together anymore.” It feels strange. In all our nine years he never spoke to me in a soft voice. He was always cold and empty. He frowns now as he tries to explain so Liam stops asking questions. But Liam is curious like me. Liam’s voice becomes smaller. “Is it because you do not love us anymore?” My breath stops. My heart twists hard. The words feel small and innocent but they cut deep. I grip the wall without thinking. I already know what Damien will say. Everyone knows except Liam. He loves his son with everything he has. But me? He never loved me. Damien does not love me. He never did and he never will. That truth still hurts even after all this time. Nothing breaks a person more than loving someone who sees you as the wrong woman. The wrong wife. The wrong choice. “What? Who told you that?” Damien asks. He sounds surprised. Liam shrugs. “I never see Mom with anyone else. Maybe you love someone else now.” I have not looked at any other man since the divorce started. The love I had for Damien destroyed me. I do not want love right now. He always held back. I gave and gave but he moved further away. I could never reach his heart. Our marriage was never only ours. My sister was always there between us. He never let her go. I stayed silent and suffered because the man I loved wanted someone else. Tears come to my eyes but I wipe them away fast. I am tired of crying. I am tired of chasing a man who does not want me. I step into the room before Damien can speak. My voice stays calm but my chest feels broken. “That is enough Liam.” Damien looks at me fast. His jaw tightens and his eyes throw blame he cannot say in front of our son. I ignore him and turn to Liam. He is my pride and my joy. The only good thing I have. He has my brown hair and his father’s grey eyes. “Liam go pack your bag.” He pauses. “But—” “Now sweetheart,” I say softly. “Fine but do not fight,” he says before he leaves. I stand there and watch him go. Damien left me this house in the divorce but I plan to move soon. I have lived here nine years yet it never felt like mine. He built it thinking of her. It was her dream house even in the colors. That should have warned me he would never love me. I still hoped he would change. When Liam is far enough away Damien stands up slowly. His eyes burn into me. “What lies did you tell him?” “Nothing,” I reply. “He is seven Damien. He only wants to understand.” “You made me look like the bad one.” “Damien…” I sigh but cannot finish. “No. You ruined my life nine years ago and now this? Are you trying to punish me? Turning my son against me because I never loved you? Listen Lila. I hate you.” His words hit me like stones. Each one breaks my heart more. “I…” What can I say when the man I still love tells me he hates me? Damien stares at me with cold eyes full of hate. “Try that again and you will regret it. I only stayed around for Liam. If you turn him against me I will take him from you forever.” His threat makes me cold inside. Damien does not play games. He means what he says. With his power and family support he can take Liam if he wants. I put the divorce papers down. I want to defend myself when my phone rings. It is my mother. I answer quickly. Before I can speak she says fast, “Come to the hospital now. Your father has been shot.” Then she hangs up. The phone falls from my hand. I cannot move. “What happened?” Damien asks. I pick up the phone with shaking hands. “It is my father,” I whisper. “He has been shot.”