How Deep is Your Love?

28 - Natalie

“Aren’t you hungry yet?” I asked after sometime.

We’re back in his office and he’s back in his desk, scribbling something on the papers laid open in there. My stomach growled once more and I got nothing in reply. I knew I was really hungry this time. I stared at Brian but he just ignored me completely like I was some sort of air.

“Let’s go and eat.” I said again.

With that, I boldly stood up and went to him. Much to his surprise, he stared at me with his wide eyes when I grabbed his arm and dragged him off his chair without waiting for his permission, taking advantage of his shock. However, he recovered quickly and suddenly stood his ground before I succeeded on bringing him to the couch. Halting, he snatched his arm away from my hold.

“I said I don’t want to. Go eat by yourself.” Brian rejected with great annoyance. While glaring, he continued, “And will you please stop pestering me. And can you stop touching me? Hooking your hands around me and such, it’s really annoying!”

“Brian-” I started but he immediately looked around and I couldn’t help but bite on my lower lip as I watched him walk back to his desk without looking back even once.

Brian continued scribbling things on the papers in front of him like it was the most normal thing to do, not minding me who froze there. Like an i***t, I stayed standing from where I stopped. My heart ached for this kind of treatment from him. I was immediately reminded as to how he treated me four years ago. It wasn’t the same treatment, because this time, he was much harsher.

“Will Brian come home today, Tita Lorie?” I asked excitedly. I actually think I knew the answer but I can’t help feeling some hope within me. And so I still bothered to ask that question. I actually knew he wouldn’t come. It has been that way ever since he moved to the capital to pursue his studies there. He would only come home during special occasions and my birthday isn’t one of that.

‘But today is my 18th birthday, so maybe he’d consider it, right?’ I thought pathetically as a bitter smile crept on my face.

“He sent you a gift. Have you seen it?” Tita Lorie asked instead of answering my question directly. She very much aware of my feelings for her son after reading my diary. Since then, she openly supported me and my feelings. She even declared my unofficial engagement with her son and since then, I was seen as the future wife of Brian O’Donnell. But today, she knew that the chances for Brian to come home for my 18th birthday is like waiting for a miracle to happen and she doesn’t want me hurt. So she redirected our conversation instead.

“Yes, Tita.” I said and tried to smile widely. I brought up my arm which wore the bracelet that Brian had sent me. It was really pretty and fancy. I was so happy when I saw it and wore it right away. I also immediately took of photo of me wearing it and sent the picture to him but he didn’t even open my message to see it. “Do I look good with it?”

“Of course. It suits you. It’s really pretty. And you definitely look good with anything, iha.” Tita Lorie said and smiled gently.

“Thanks, Tita.” I said and smiled. I feel truly blessed to have been taken care of by her. I’m sure, my mother is happy wherever she is now because she knew that her best friend is taking good care of her child.

“Anything for you.” Tita Lorie said and we hugged for a while. “Right. Before we get so emotional and make our eyes puffy, I’ll go prepare myself and someone will come prepare you for your party, okay?”

“Tita, do you really really think the dress suits me? I mean, it’s really beautiful but I haven’t really tried anything just like that. I might ruin the dress.” I said quite nervously. I love wearing long skirts and all but the dress is cut differently. It’s a backless ball gown and after fitting it a couple of times, it looked quite daring as it completely hugged my curves.

“Silly. I have seen you in it and you couldn’t be more perfect, darling. Now that you’re 18, you should be able to have more confidence with yourself and your God-given beauty. I’m sure everyone will be stunned to see you tonight.” Tita Lorie excitedly said before kissing my forehead. “Just cooperate with all the stylist, okay? See you later at the party!”

“Thanks, Tita.” I said shyly and she blew a kiss to me before exiting the room.

I reached out for my phone at the countertop and checked on my messages. Still, my message is left unseen by Brian. I sighed sadly. I actually didn’t really wish to have a huge party for my birthday. I only wished for a simple dinner as long as Brian comes home then it will be the happiest birthday of my life.

With that in mind, I tap on the write message corner on my phone and typed, “I know you must be busy but I still hope to see you home.”

I stared at it for quite some time before the stylist came in to help me prepare for my party.

***

The party was a huge success. All the guests and my classmates who came commended how beautiful the venue is and how delicious were the food. They also did not stop praising my looks. They were used to my old clothing style and glasses that almost everyone who saw me without them were stunned. I felt a bit shy but happy at the same time because they all think that I looked gorgeous.

“You really absolutely beautiful, iha.” Tita Lorie said as I went to hug her. “You are just so perfect. How I wish your mom was here to see how beautiful and gorgeous you’ve become.”

“How I wish too, Tita.” I said softly in her arms.

“From this day on, you’re no longer just a girl but a woman. And we’re of proud of you. I’m sure if your mom is here, she’ll be crying her eyes out because of how proud she is of you.”

I smiled and blinked my tears away as Tita Lorie soothingly brushed my back.

“Adult life is not going to be easy, my dear. But remember that we’ll always be with you all the way. Brian will also be there for you.” She said as she pulled away and gently caressed my cheek.

The mention of Brian’s name made me feel sad because he really didn’t come to my party. However, I tried to smile so as not to show the pain and disappointment that I felt. This should be a happy day and Tita Lorie and the others made sure that this day is perfect for me. I should be happy.

“Don’t worry about me, Tita Lorie. I’ll be doing just fine.” I said and her smile widened.

Just then, Tito Philip came into view.

“Happiest birthday again to our gorgeous little darling!” Tito Philip said and hugged me briefly. Then he excitedly turned to the side and waved his hand. With that, a gorgeous stallion came into view.

“Oh my.” I gasped in surprise.

My eyes widened at the sight of the most stunning white horse ever. The stallion was slowly guided towards me.

“I hope you like my present.” Tito Philip said with confidence.

“It’s mine?” I asked, still in shock.

“Of course, it’s yours. You deserve the best in everything, princess.” Tito Philip replied.

“Thank you so much!” I said, teary-eyed, as I jumped over to him and embrace him tightly. At this moment, I forgot all the shyness in me and boldly thanked him for everything he’s given me, love, care, and a home. He was truly the father that I never had.

“Now, off you go and try riding him, iha.” Tito Philip said when I pulled away. He gently wiped my tears at the edge of my eyes. I nodded obediently and went to mount on the horse. They helped me sit comfortably as my gown was a bit bulky and heavy. Good thing that it wasn’t too long.

“From today onwards, you will be called Hercules.” I said as I gently caressed the horse.

They all happily made way for me and so I started to give Hercules a kick and he took off smoothly. Off to the fields of the estate, I smiled as I felt the cold night wind brushing off my face. After riding for a couple of rounds, I got down and walked Hercules back to the stables. From there, I saw a tall shadow not too far from me. I froze as I saw the familiar figure who was silently watching me.

‘Is he who I think he is?’ I asked subconsciously as I blinked for a couple of times. ‘Is this all a dream? Is it really him?’

“Happy birthday, Natalie.” He said with his baritone voice.

“You came.” I replied softly as my heart pounded rapidly. Joy overflowed inside and for a moment, I was speechless. After absorbing the shock, I couldn’t help myself but smile at him sweetly and the next thing I knew, I was already running towards him and I engulfed him with my arms happily. “Brian, you came!”

“Go home, Natalie.” A low voice broke my trance and I was immediately brought back to the present. “You’re just wasting your precious time here. Like I said, I am not hungry. You can take those foods back with you. I won’t help you find yourself out. You came here all by yourself and you know where the door is.”

As much as I don’t want to mind his words, it still struck me deeply. My eyes went to Brian who was still scribbling something on his desk like what he said was nothing and that my presence there was really just a disturbance that he truly wants to get rid of. I clenched my fist as I tried my very best to not cry in front on this icy man.

“I thought you like packed lunches more.” I tried to say firmly despite the roller coaster of emotions I’m feeling inside, reminding him of his own words a few weeks back when he was still happy to eat the foods that I am cooking and bringing. Back when he was still happy to eat with me.

“Not anymore.” He replied coldly, still not looking at me.

Until when do you have to hurt me this way, Brian? I asked myself and sighed. Then I couldn’t help but voice out, “Do you really have to be this harsh?”

“No. Only when you’re getting into my nerves.” He said chilly and glared at me for a second before getting back on what he’s working on.

I gulped and nodded my head slightly. “Fine.”

“Like I said, you know where the door is.” Brian added like he really can’t wait to get rid of her.

At least before, though he didn’t like me, he still managed to send me gifts and even made an effort to come home for my birthday. Maybe our forced marriage really made him really hate me this time around. I concluded in my thoughts sadly.

Blinking back my tears, I reminded myself that this is what he wanted. He wanted to hurt me and so I shut my eyes for a moment and calm down my nerves. Maybe he wanted to vexed me enough so I’d finally leave his side. But no, I would stubbornly stick to him until he learns to love me too. With that in mind, I gave him another long look before I sighed and went to get my bag from the couch. I was even surprised that I was able to control my tears from falling. That a big improvement.

“I just really wanted to lunch with you. I had no intention to annoy you nor get into your nerves or something. I just really really want this marriage to work out, Brian…I…I just want…I want us to work out. And I want you to taste all the foods that I cooked. I…I want to make memories with you.” I voiced out and saw that his hand stopped scribbling, but he didn’t look at me, he was just staring down.

Silence occupied the room and I was just glad that he didn’t say anything.

“This is mixed seafood, one of your favorites.” I managed to continue, trying my best to say it without my voice breaking. However, it still failed as I can hear my own voice trembling as I said those words. I know that this may be guilt-tripping him in a way but I can’t help myself. I just truly want to say what’s on my mind. “Throw them away if you really don’t want it. Or maybe let Terry do it. It’s fine. I made those for you. Technically, it’s yours. So you can do whatever you want with it.”

Taking hold of my bag firmly, I turned around with hastened steps, no longer looking back and left his office.

***