Flashbacks: Head Versus Heart

My name is Pericetta, it sounds like pear-uh-shet-uh. Everyone calls me Peri. I was named after my grandfather Paulie and my grandmother Terissa, with a mix of my mother Concetta in there. Not sure how my parents gathered my name out of that, but I was named after all the important people in my father’s life. I was the first and only child my parents had. My mother passed shortly after I was born, and my father has yet to remarry. He did his best to raise me on his own, with help of my grandparents. I was born with a combination of my father’s wavy dark brown hair and my mother’s golden-brown eyes. Ever since I was old enough to ask, I’ve been lightening my hair to a sun-kissed blonde, it falls just between my shoulders and hips. I would say I am of average height at five feet five inches, that frames my slender yet curvy figure, with hips that could never tell a lie. I generally wear a lot of makeup, unless I plan to stay indoors. I’ve never been the wash and wear kind of girl. I graduated in the top ten percent of my graduating class. I am currently attending college for Fashion Design and Photography. Eventually I plan to have my own line featured during New York’s Fashion Week. I’m single, but I date casually. I’m not looking for anything serious right now. I live on my own in a small, yellow, two-bedroom, two-bathroom house that I rent from the sweetest couple. Often, I go back home to visit my father, we don’t live too far from each other, and I worry about him being alone. I go grocery shopping for him as well. He does travel a lot for work these days, but I like to make sure he has food in the house when I can. I woke up today, like any other day. Thinking about the previous day, and the things I had done. Except when I woke up today, I was filled with excitement, nostalgia, and heartache – all at once. Today, I go back to visit my best friend. I haven’t been back to that small town in two years, and I’ve matured a lot of the years. I had just finished my freshman year of college. You see, I moved away when I was seventeen, for my father’s job. I was a junior in high school at the time. I had a lot of great memories there, but there was one memory I tried to avoid. Since, this memory could walk, talk, and look at me with the most piercing blue eyes ever given to a human. I often found myself thinking back on how happy we were. Just two kids growing up together and falling in love. I met Colt when I was thirteen, and spent the following four years completely infatuated with him. For me, the first time I saw him still burns in my mind like it was yesterday. I was so shy and naïve about love and life when I met him. He was tall, tanned from summer, and was well built. Before we were introduced to one another, I found myself mesmerized by him, and watched him for a few moments, simply put I was captivated. His younger sister, Vera, was my best friend growing up. We met at the town fair the summer we moved to that little town, and got along immediately. We only lived down the street from one another, which really made for the perfect recipe for a best friend cocktail. I can’t believe I’m finally going back to see her, and spending the holiday weekend with her. Unfortunately, her parents are on vacation, so I won’t be seeing them. Vera has come to visit me a few times after we graduated but, I haven’t been back there for a visit in a long time. It’s well overdue. It was so hard for me, to not worry about seeing Colt after the last few years. At the same time that I moved away, he was leaving for college. I’m sure he’s long been over our relationship. He was the biggest part of – well he was the majority of my life that I can remember. He was the first boy I really kissed, and thinking about it still gives me the type of butterflies that makes you feel queasy, warm, yet makes you want to vomit at the same time. It was an earnest summer evening, and we had just gotten back from swimming at the lake down the road from Colt and Vera’s house. Vera had gone inside to grab us all something to drink, while Colt and I sat on the swing on their back deck. I don’t much remember, what we had been talking about. I do remember Colt looking at me, in a way he never had before. I can still remember the way my heart started beating, and I couldn’t breathe. I always found myself almost in a trance when I would look at him. It almost felt as if everything around me stopped, and I was the only one aware of my surroundings. Before I knew it, Colt had placed one of his hands on my cheek to cup it and the other on my hip, and he pulled me in for a kiss. When our lips touched, my whole body reacted, every nerve in my body lit up. When he pulled away, he looked at me with a smirk on his face. I’ve never felt that feeling with anyone else, to this day, I have yet to find anyone else that electrified my body the way he did. Every time he would kiss me, I could feel my heart beating throughout my entire body. He could send a shiver down my spine, with only breathing on me. You see, for me – for us, it was such a pure and innocent love. We were every country song about summer nights, intertwined with every song about honest love. The kind of love that leaves you breathless, but is the very oxygen that evokes your lungs to begin with. The kind of love, all those 90’s movies filled every young girl’s head with, and gave us unrealistic expectations of what two people should feel for one another. I knew it was realistic, I had that love, and it’s easy to still get caught up in thinking of him. Especially since I haven’t been very good at moving on.