Kissa

City Of Lights, Heart Gone Dark

KISSA

*Chapter 21: "City of Lights, Heart Gone Dark"*

Karachi was a city of lights.

We had entered it now.

Neon signs were everywhere outside.

Inside, I felt empty.

The car stopped at the driveway.

I got out first.

I did not make eye contact with anyone.

I went straight to my room.

I locked the door.

I threw my bag on the floor.

I fell onto the bed.

It felt like I left all of the village weight here.

My phone screen lit up.

There was a message from Ali.

It was blank.

Just one dot.

One dot.

Like he was asking.

Are you alive?

I threw the phone to the side.

I had not slept the whole night.

The bed knocked me out instantly.

College started tomorrow.

Routine was back.

I took a shower in the morning.

I came down fresh.

Mom was making coffee at the kitchen island.

She had a designer bag on her shoulder.

"Good morning, sunshine."

"Did you bring any souvenirs from the village?"

I smiled. "Just memories."

She slid a mug toward me.

"Why does your face look down?"

"Jet lag."

She took a sip. "Or some other kind of lag?"

I froze.

She looked right at me. "Silence does not make faces thinner."

"Solve the problem. Or ignore it."

"But do not carry it around."

"You are late. Go."

I picked up my bag.

My heart did not feel lighter.

But her words hit me hard.

I took the car out of the garage.

There was traffic.

And my mind was stuck too.

I remembered the village wall.

I remembered sweat on Ali’s face.

I had messaged the group chat earlier.

"Back to college. Today."

Only fire emojis came back.

But the vibe was missing.

I crossed the main gate of college.

Security nodded at me.

As soon as I entered, noise exploded.

Khushi came running.

"Kissa is back, bitches!"

She hugged me hard.

The rest came into a circle too.

Lubna, Sana, Zara.

"Kissa, if you had not come today."

"We had finalized a village trip."

Everyone laughed.

The corridor echoed with it.

"Now I am here."

"So cancel the plan."

Lubna said, "College felt like a funeral without you."

Everyone went serious for a second.

Then we all laughed together.

"Scene is on now."

"Fun mode starts."

I snapped my fingers.

We planned canteen.

We skipped class.

Sir Junaid was coming our way.

We all stood straight.

"Miss Kissa, back so soon?"

"Yes sir. Just today."

Sir smiled. "Good."

"These people were dead without you."

"Class in five."

"Yes sir."

After he left, we looked at each other.

And we ran to the canteen.

The canteen was full.

We took a corner table.

Chips, cold coffee, noise.

"So how was the village?"

"It was peaceful. A lot."

"Then why did you come back?"

"Because I would get bored without you all."

Everyone said "aww."

Then the topic changed.

"A new cafe opened."

"Plan for Friday?"

"Done."

"Show us village photos."

"There was no network there."

"Excuses."

I laughed. But I was not laughing inside.

College ended and I came home.

Mom had lunch on the table.

"How was it?"

"Loud."

"Did you meet anyone?"

"Everyone."

Mom put her fork down. "I meant someone special."

I pushed food around on my plate.

Mom said nothing.

She just refilled my water.

"Take your time."

"But do not take too much time."

I went to my room.

I checked my phone.

Two missed calls from Noor.

One message.

"Kissa, did you turn into Kissa Daud after Karachi?"

"You do not even reply."

I smiled. I sent a laugh emoji.

I did not reply.

Mindlessly, I opened Ali’s number.

My thumb was over dial.

Then his question echoed.

"Give me an answer."

My hand stopped.

I still had no answer.

I put the phone face down.

I looked out the window.

Concrete buildings.

Traffic. Noise.

No village tree.

No canals.

The phone vibrated.

It was Noor calling.

I picked up.

"Hello, traitor."

"Kissa, what are you?"

"No call, no text."

"Did you forget the village?"

Noor was in full mood.

"Chill."

"I came at night. I was tired."

"College in the morning. I just got home."

Noor was not convinced.

"Excuses."

"You gave updates every two minutes in the village."

"Now you are a ghost here."

"Did the city air hit you?"

"It is not the air."

"My mind has a load."

"Then unload it."

"Talk to someone."

I went quiet.

Noor understood. "Okay."

"Do not tell me now."

"But stop running."

"You do not get answers by hiding your face."

"Face it."

"Understood?"

"Yes ma’am."

Noor laughed. "Good girl."

"Say hi to everyone for me."

"Take care."

She cut the call.

My heart felt lighter.

But the question stayed.

I lay on the bed.

I closed my eyes.

The phone lit up again.

Ali was calling.

His name flashed on the screen.

My heart started racing.

Should I pick up?

Or should I ignore?

Ring.

Ring.

It rang three times.

It cut on its own.

No message came.

No call back came.

I sat up.

I ran my fingers through my hair.

The village was far.

Ali felt even farther.

The city was awake.

People were on dates.

There was music at college.

I felt dead inside.

Mom knocked.

"Tea?"

"Coming."

My voice sounded dry.

Mom gave me the cup. "Listen."

"Tea does not solve problems."

"Decisions do."

I held the cup.

"I am scared, Mom."

"Of what?"

"Myself."

Mom fixed my hair.

"Then stop running."

"Face it."

"Yes or no."

"Silence is the worst answer."

I took a sip of tea.

It was bitter.

Mom was right.

But I was not ready yet.

Night came.

The city was neon.

I was in the dark.

I could not sleep.

The phone was on the side.

That one dot was still there.

Like Ali was sitting there.

Waiting.

I closed my eyes.

Ali’s face came.

The wall. His eyes. His sweat.

"Your decision."

Yes, it was mine.

But making a decision.

Was the hardest part.

I stayed lying on the bed.

The city outside was bright.

My room was dark.

I had friends here. Fun. Laughter.

But I was cracking inside.

And Ali.

He was probably still there.

By that same wall.

Waiting for one word from me.

To be continued....