Azalea

Clouds covered the barely showing sun , people standing and watching the casket being lowered into the ground . They say once they leave you they go to a better place , well I say let him go to hell or not I dunno . I'm void of feelings , I never hated him nor did I ever love him . It's always been a love hate relationship between me and him , the only problem was he never considered me his daughter and I always outted to seek his validation. I watched as we all got into a short line to pour some sand into the ground. Gone, he is dead , he is gone and he's never coming back . I let some sand slip through my fingers as they become wet slowly, I gaze up and notice that it's starting to rain . I walk back to my old position situated next to my sister who is crying into my other sister's shoulder. i look over to my right side to find my mom talking to someone, a man in his late 30s , wearing a black and white posh suit a rich man I suppose. I turn my attention away before they catch me . People start leaving,as the rain becomes heavy . I look around in search of my family but all their cars have left , they left me to walk alone in the rain but it's not far I'll get home eventually. The only thing that kept me sane from all the judgy eyes I'd been getting,is the rain , I've always valued the rain , it's cold demonior , I'll probably catch a cold I think but I don't care. I just want to walk into the forever nothingness. Numb , numb that he died and left my mother without a husband , numb that he left my sister's without a father . And void to the feeling of guilt as he never loved me. and it's now that I realise that I've been always a means to an end , the only difference is that it happened vise versa. He always wanted me gone and now he's dead , I don't feel bad as I stopped caring the moment he layed his hand on my face , the moment he called me useless the moment I found out he was never my father , instead my mother's husband . **** I open the door and find my sister's happy?? Should they not be sobbing and crying of their fathers demise?? Were they pretending to care ??? Alas I walk further into the living room where I see a huge box is situated. My mom removing contents from it. I see Academy uniform , a pamphlet and my sister hugging them tight . "Mom, what's going on?" I asked as curious as can be . " You are going The Princeton Academy for the rich and elite " was all she said enough to leave my head busting with questions. "Sit , Azalea we have much to discuss " I sit and look at the parcel being sent my way ... uniform pamphlet and schedule. Princeton Academy is a rich people academy, people with money go there , how did we get in ? we are barely being able to make ends meet as I work as a waitress at a cafe even though I am the youngest but i still do . My sister Adriana is as lazy as a hippo's butt , mom is a druggie who does nothing but throw insults and demands food all day long , Amaya on the other hand is the oldest and is all glitz and glamour but refuses to damage her 'perfectly manicured nails'. This is all weird really , and besides all that my school marks dropped after the bullying from school and home began so how in the hell did we get all this?? " I know you have questions which I will now answer but first , I will have you children know that your father paid for your tuition into the academy, I only found out today , he somehow managed to pull some strings and here we are . Azalea you will however continue working, I'm going into rehab and we have a million billls to cover " "It's always up to me isn't it ??" I said more to myself than to them , I feel a hard sting across my face , I turn in horror as mum looks at me as if she wants to kill me . " you , my dear are the reason we are deep in Dept , your father's funeral costs a fortune so I took a loan , you got your father killed all because you didn't want to oblige to the only thing he ever asked you and I have to go to a rehab centre if I want to keep you kids around longer , now stopped being an ungrateful little t**t and do as you are told!" she seezed and I looked at her in disbelief . Is she being serious, no she must be high again , I mean why else would she say that to me . First of all , I refused to sell my body and that's a bad thing how?? I didn't ask her to take a loan , why isn't she working as she is the adult in this household and lastly I'm the freaking youngest why should I suffer while my sisters live a life of queens? But what can I do , I am not my father's child and so I'm am the black sheep of the rechered family. Oh how I wish I could be a child for once worry about me , and not them , how I wish to be selfish just this one time , to make something about me and not everyone else but sadly fate doesn't wanna see me happy , best to pretend. words:1013