Psalm 22

Chapter 1

MY NAME IS ISKA AND THIS IS MY STORY. I can’t believe it’s been two years since the release of my favorite album so far. Am I that old? What did I do in those two years? All I knew was that I looked forward to the albums of my favorite band and attended advanced‌ ‌listening parties because I wanted to be one of the firsts in the scene. 

If not for the band and their twelve-tracked albums, I don't know what else to do to calm the storm inside me. I've learned to love the hurt and it eats me and leaves me hopeless. Their songs helped me wash away the feelings, some, if not all. And that helps a lot.

Today marks the second anniversary of the fourth album.

And lemme tell you the music scene was shook, mama, when they released their fifth album this week with no warning, no marketing, no s**t like that. They just dropped the bomb.

I got an invite to attend one of their fifteen listening parties across the state. I was invited by a good friend, Kurt, who introduced me to the band. Well, he likes to put it that way. He's full of himself but whatever floats his boat I guess. He's just so damn proud we were both on this road together, obsessing and flourishing underneath your tongue (the actual band name). And also he's the sound engineer of the band, so stoked.

But what really happened was that I was watching a movie when I heard a song in the background, it was incoherent and I had to play the scene over and over again—yes, it was pirated—just to transcribe it and look for it in Google. Good times.

I booked a Grab and ready to feel whatever it is I am bound to feel along with the crowd and close the curtains at the last hour with the help of dope. Aye, good vibes it is.

Kurt was already there and some of our mutual friends who were up for some local sounds.

We've managed to create a following here for the band, they are born and raised here, and it's quite a handful. We are all an individual sort of group. It's really hard to make a decision for everybody when they have already formed their own ideas and opinions and suggestions. It would take us a week to finalize things, but at least we are being solid as a group and no one's salty about anything we did, so far. Not like I'm hoping to hear any backlash later. Gosh, not in our community, please. This was the safest place for me, for the longest I’ve been following the band.

It's surprising and heart-warming to see the credit the people behind the band gets. At the beginning of this band's journey, all we acknowledged was the frontman. But for this latest album, the frontman shares the men and women who worked with him to the rest of the world and gives credit where it is due. I am one of those people who couldn't stop gagging about the frontman but I am now changing my tone when introducing the band to others.

I went into a manic state when the car pulled to a stop. I felt my eyes popping and hands all over the place greeting people, it's so crazy to feel the positive energy in the air, basically, everyone is in a crazed state. We were about to begin in about half an hour. 

I met Kurt who already downed two pints of beer. “Man, happy fu/cking birthday, to you,” I greeted him as I sat to his left. “It's your lucky day.”

He gave me a sheepish smile. “Best birthday gift ever.” But that smile now stretched from ear to ear. “I swear I’m gonna burst any minute now.”

“You know damn well we will have to clean our own mess tonight. We're gonna bawl and s**t and stuff like that. So, stay safe. Say something and make sure people are a'ight,” I said.

“This is a pretty wild scenario. Sometimes, anyone of us could get wild in this motherfucker,” he seconded. 

I ordered my poison and waited and waited... 

Lights were dimmed. We sat still in silence. If we talked, we talked slowly and easily, as if dying in our sleep, and I will shut my mouth before I spew all the Bukowski that I know. 

The listening party began and it was on fire. 

I met new people during the night and one of them was Pindet. He’s a guy leaning towards electronic music and working with a bunch of people across the globe for a collaborative album. I then introduced him to my friend Kurt and they hit it right off the bat. 

Since it was all about team effort, Pindet were getting all the help they can get in every art department. Kurt told him I write for a living. It all started as a hobby but Kurt introduced me to the music industry and from then on a newfound purpose in life was enough to get me going. He took me to groups of people who collaborate with artists such as writers to fill the gap they think is lacking in their albums, websites, and even their little speech during live performances. 

Pindet took me to a corner and politely asked if he could check some of my works. I didn’t hesitate and sent him one inspired by the frontman of the band. 

He was shaking when he came back after finishing the story, saying he digs it. That was such a proper compliment from a stranger I was so flattered. He then asked me a favor if I could write something for their album which was shortly met with an aggressive yes. We already exchanged emails so we just shook hands and he graciously excused himself back to his friends. 

I told Kurt what happened. “I think he digs you,” is what he managed to say. 

“Ugh, you bore me,” I said and was starting to leave to order another drink. 

“So, what are you feeling right now? Mixed emotions?” he inquired about the new album we finished listening to. A lot of us stayed to mingle with the crowd. 

“Clearly mixed emotions, yes,” I admitted. “I think I’ll warm up to it. But I could frankly say they haven’t lost what they started in a cabin in the woods in the coldest part of town, no, sir. Man, am I glad to be born in the same era as these guys. It’s a work of god.”

He nodded and quietly sipped his drink. “Interesting. Are we getting religious now?” he taunted. 

Okay? I thought. 

Kurt continued. “When I worked with them backstage at their last concert, I abandoned the guise that I know everything because since day one I knew I could learn a lot with this band. Complete faith. I don’t idolize them, I give critique, I don’t want to be bias all the time for fu/ck’s sake, no. So when I let them help me help them, I finally understood why some people get high on the church. I sound like I put the band on a high pedestal, but I knew right then, right then… the world made sense again.” 

I was speechless. I gave him a pat on the shoulder and smiled weakly. I hate that I don’t get to be strong when he’s helpless. I tried not to dwell on his sadness because what would happen to us if we both succumb to our emotions? Havoc. He’s the bigger guy here, for sure. He always looks out for me. In my crestfallen state, he’d remain sturdy for me. Sometimes I can bend my will to be as tough when he’s hurting, sometimes no. 

Pindet chose to slide in between us at that moment. He put his hands around our shoulders. “Next round’s on me,” he said, beaming. 

I shook my head. “That’s nice of you. But I’m going home. Talk to you soon?” 

Kurt downed the last drop of his drink and stood up. “Sorry, mate. Maybe next time.”

Pindet couldn’t understand the change in mood. “Is something wrong?”

“Life?” I said. Cheesy.

“Well, you know, fighting against the current of our lives is really draining," Kurt answered. "I’m glad we have CJ and the guys and they’re great at what they’re doing. One would think some of their songs are hit and miss. When you give it the tenth try two years later after the release, it will hit you, right where it hurts. This is not a great time for any of us here in our community since we had the rainforest fire, the extra-judicial killings, drug-related busts, children disappearing, women being catcalled and r***d, I don’t know what, man. I was a church person, lost my faith, came here and listened to the full set of the album, and it’s really tearing me apart. I’m so lost.” Kurt said in an exasperated tone. The world is mad and we are caught in its hellfire. 

Pindet didn’t know what to say so I patted his arm that was holding me. “We’ll be fine. Will you?”

“What kind of question is that?” he asked, puzzled.

“After we leave, go back to your friends, stay safe. Outside this bar, it’s chaos. There are pickpockets everywhere,” I sighed. To think lots of people came down here to attend this party. I can only hope no one will be a victim of pickpocketing. Thieves can get aggressive and they would lash out and hurt their victims, even if it’s not necessary. Like I said, a mad world we live in. We’ve disobeyed the laws of nature and did the exact opposite to preserve it. 

Kurt and I walked together a little further to get to his car. I greeted him with a happy birthday and told him to check his email. 

“Oh, wow, Iska, you pre-ordered the album? For me?” His voice was shaking. 

“Duh, for my best bud,” I said and hugged the guy. “You didn’t order yet, right?” I asked as I let him go. 

He shook his head. “‘Course not. Pre-orders are for shits. Except for this time around.” He grinned.