Edge of darkness

Understanding what life means

Such peace, such tranquility. All the pain has been subsided. Is that how they feel after death. I still can't open my eyes even when I am wide awake. I feel cold and wet and this enchanting smell. I don't understand what is happening, I can hear the crickets chirping all around me. I feel like the nature itself is caressing me.

Soon, the darkness started to subdue. It wasn't like I couldn't open my eyes. My eyes had been wide open all this time. Just that they were lifeless and I still couldn't see a thing. My eyes turned wet and I could feel the cold breeze kissing my whole body as I looked up the moon with a weird sense of intimidating uncertainty. When things seem to good to be true, its because they are. Uncertain if I was alive. I am sure I was burnt alive. Then what is this feeling. I feel the warmth of life flowing through my veins as the nature squeezed me with this kind embrace. I wanted to close my eyes and feel the joy of living but I didn't even dare to blink believing it was nothing but a vivid dream ought to be dissapear with my next sigh of relief.

Above all, I could move my body as I was staring at my hands all this time bringing them up close to my face and glancing at the full moon through the fingers which seemed usually bigger and much more beautiful than what I had seem in my entire life after the last yawn of day by sun. This feeling was so beautiful, I put my hands on my chest and felt my heart beating. This... I would never forget this feeling ever. With every pulse I felt, I sensed an unfathomable pleasure. To feel your heart beating after everyone claimed you to be dead, after you believe that you died. I wanted to feel it all day everyday and all night everynight. So this is how living really feels like. This was an entirely new feeling for me. I never felt like this about life, ever before this day. I observed how the moon shifted through the clouds playing hide and seek with me lying there without any worries feeling my heart beating and my eyes crying... whole night. My daze broke only when a curious sparrow pecked my nose. It was already morning.

The air was filled with pleasant fragrance and chirping of birds. The pale light by the sun still on horizon filled me with indescribable pleasure towards nature's lovely beauty. Even tho surrounded by incomprehensible beauty I couldn't get rid of the recent memory. IKNOW i was being delusional but still. So, I chose to move under the shade of some tree for a while to try to think things through. Only after getting my mind clear and thoughts steady I realized that I was starving at a place unfamiliar to me.