Our Story

‘Hi, my name is James Walker, age 31, fair, black hair, 1.86 m height with slightly muscular body. I am a foodie, bonhomie guy, whom people loved to be around. I Love parties, playing football, surfing and hiking and… Fuff... Okay...! Nobody is gonna read this and as you want someone to know all about you, So, don't try to be cool and be real, James.’ Yeah... I am writing this because I wanted ‘Someone’ to know all about me. So Let's start. The coolest thing, I used to do by myself is listening to music...mostly the old collection and sometimes the new one. On rare occasions. I used to wake up at 6: 30 am for meditation. Then clean up my house while making Turmeric Green Tea, then take shower. After that, I make breakfast and do some other chores like washing clothes, washing dishes and other stuff. And after my office, I also work part-time in an outlet. A long list of works.. sigh Umm…. Why am I writing this? It’s not like ‘Someone’ would be interested in knowing all this... or maybe. I don't know. I Live alone here, mostly busy in my daily routines or one can say a boring daily routine. Huff! But I remember I wasn't the same as I am now 16 years ago when I was 14 and lived with mom when she was alive. I was a shy and cumbersome boy from childhood, with no real basic burden. I wasn't like the rest of the kids, I didn't like anything besides watching cartoons. I think there was no such cartoon which I hadn't watched in my childhood and some years of adolescence. My Mom used to call me ‘Bubbles’. I know...I know... Bubbles was a girl in cartoons but Mom used to call me that because her blue eyes, delicacy, softness and sweetness matched with me. Yes...I used to watch girls' cartoons too. I was a boy, with some characteristics of a shy girl. I loved all of them, my mom, dad, not my younger sis 'Rachel' but granny too. My Granny was totally like GRANNY. I mean, granny of that horror game. That gaming app stole her concept. giggles. Jokes apart. Those days I loved my Granny too, when I was little, some years before she passed. Now I don't remember her face that clearly. But I still remember the day, when I broke a hoop earring, which she gifted to my Mom on her wedding day, by mistake. I was hiding under the bed out of fear and she was searching for me with a long stick in her hand, just like The Granny searches for the player. I was scared to death. But Mom defended me from her and I was saved. That hoop couldn't be fixed and from that day onwards I started fearing granny too. When I was a kid, Mom and Dad used to protect me from everything, as every parent does. But slowly when I grew up, dad stopped doing that. He wanted me to face my problems, as every father does. But I didn't have that many guts and always used to hide from my problems. I remembered one more memory from my past days. When I was in 5th grade, I saw some children in my school teasing our school gardener's disabled son near the main gate. He was a teenager but a kid in his mind. I wanted to defend him, but couldn't, as they were three and older than me. I came back home, told dad about everything and said, "I want you to punish those bullies." He said, "Well! It's good you wanna help that boy but, James, you have to do this on your own." He was asking for something that was definitely not my thing, I tried to convince him again, "Dad but... " But he interjected in the middle of my sentence, and said, "You're not a kid anymore, James. It's all your thing. If you want to help him then do it by yourself. You can't hide from your stuff under dad's shield." After my failed attempt with dad, I told everything to mom and requested her to convince dad for me. Mom used to convince dad easily in a moment with her charming smile and dad never refused her for anything. So when me, dad and Rachel were having our dinner at the dining table, mom walked toward him with her charming smile and immediately gained all his attention. But looking at her, he immediately sensed what she is going to say and he interjected, " Before you ask anything which I couldn't do. I wanna say that you're looking beautiful but I'm not gonna hear you." Mom darted at me and again said to him, "But, Alex..." And he again interjected, "Am not gonna hear you, my love." She rolled her eyes and began to eat with us. So basically that day again dad didn't refuse my mom. I stared at all those three faces with a blank expression and saw arrogant Rachel giving me the lopsided grin as if dad's reaction satisfied her. Huff! I hated her so much. After that, Whenever I saw that gardener’s son crying in school, I changed my way as I was unable to do anything for him. Whenever I felt bad for that boy, I ignored my Dad. But now I ascertain, that my dad was right. I should have done my things on my own. From that day onwards, Dad started scolding me for my negligence but mom never did. After all 'Mom is MOM,' and none of my flaws could change her love for me. You know... Moms are the first and sometimes last hope of every kid. She always used to take my side every time and the consequence was, that they started to fight often, just because of me. Of course, she loved me so she defended me. I never needed to take my stand by myself because she was the one always standing on my side and I took that as an advantage, soon that plainness became my habit. I never tried to defend myself, built a comfort zone around me, including Mom into it. I started being around only her. After some years, after celebrating my fourteenth birthday, mom left. After her, my comfort zone shrank only to me. In my starting teenage years, I became uncomfortable with my dad. If I had anything to share with him then I used to tell mom. She was the link between me and dad, which broke after mom left us. After a year, Dad married another woman, conceding we needed a mother, especially me because I hardly talked, things got worse after that. Not exactly when he married another woman but when she tried to have extramarital affairs with my dad's only son. Yes, that's me. Since she was my stepmother, somewhere in my heart I had a bit of respect for her. So, I never admitted it to myself, but now I can, 'She was hot...really hot.' She tried a lot but, she couldn't make me lose my virginity. I am 3 years older than my sister Rachel still, it never made difference to her. She always disrespected me. According to her, I was a humdrum, lifeless stupid creature that ever existed… Again, Somewhere inside me, I knew she was right. But that little boy's ego inside me never allowed me to agree with her. During those years I have some courage to speak my mind but failed to explain what I actually meant. So, one day when I was in my seventeen, I argued with them and proved myself totally useless and dad respectfully kicked me out without any stuff. I left that city and came here. I had only 3 childhood friends and Max was one of them. He came here with his family when we were in grade 5. We both were always in contact. I didn't even have the money for the ticket. I sold my mobile, which was accidentally left in my back pocket and came here without informing Max. The way I came to their house was disliked by his swagger mother and she shut the door on my silly face. That still hurts sometimes. I know my actions weren't appropriate but how could she let an innocent kid alone on unknown streets. 'She was rude' whenever I recalled that incident I always say this. I survived one day comfortably with the money that I had and slept at night near Max's house on a roadside bench. In the morning his dad, Uncle Paul, saw me on the way to his shop and took me with him. He hid me there from his wife, taught me how to repair devices, fed me half of his lunch and paid me for my work. He used to give me money for my dinner as well but I started saving all the money. I used to eat only half of the lunch from my uncle’s share. It was difficult for me, but I survived because I can't go back home. But I wanted to go back, desperately, I missed my dad and sometimes started missing my sister also. There taunt our fights everything. Although he was enraged at me and I didn't know how to apply ice on his hot head. More than a thousand times, the thought of going back home struck my mind and every time I successfully resisted. After more than two years I saved enough money and told uncle Paul about it. He advised me to get admission to engineering college. Actually, he didn't only advise, instead he pushed me for that, saying, "You can stay here in my shop, as long as you want. But only in one condition, if you take admission to Engineering college." I deposited the money to buy a small house in instalments and decided to continue working at his place for a lifetime. A useless plan. After that, I just focused on my studies and ignored everything else, even my clothes, image and personality. That made me the easiest target for ragging by a senior group and some of my fellow mates. I didn't have the guts to fight back and often tried to hide from them. Every day I wished for a miracle to happen to save myself from them and end up with the reality that the miracle won't happen. Every day my remaining self-confidence waned a bit. All that became a part of my life and soon I got used to it. In the Engineering course, I scored well and got myself a good job. Things were coming right track till Uncle Paul's health started to deteriorate. Max took over the responsibility of the shop when Uncle Paul died due to stomach cancer. Max was my friend but his father was my supporter. He was like a father to me. When I came to know he had cancer, I never went to him again. Max told me that he was angry with me, even then I didn't go to meet him because I respected him, needed him, moreover wanted him to be with me, I wanted to do something for him as the manner he did but I was helpless. I couldn't see him that way, struggling for life in pain. Things like that shattered me inside but I didn't let a tear fall from my eyes and never shared my feelings with anyone, not even with Max. After my uncle, I was the only one for me, I convinced myself by saying, "No one could stay forever in our life, as mom left, he too left. Nobody can stay forever." Apart from that nothing good or bad happened which I should remember. Years ago when I left my home, nothing was in my plan. Uncle Paul suggested the right way. After him, the only plan I had was to do my job with all my devotion and secure my future. So that I could enjoy everything I want with my love, later. The only thing I achieved in my life was this home, the result of my savings. It's small but I can call it 'mine'. While running after the plan and after losing Uncle's support, I closed myself in an invisible box that I didn't realize. I lost most of the interactions with the outer world, my remaining confidence and also myself, lost the one whom my mom loved, the one she used to call Bubbles. Those are some of my problems out of many other problems, which changed me completely. I knew already, that problems are part of all our lives, every common man's story and I was another normal and common man, without having many memories to remember or should I say, I was even worse. I was bleak. But it doesn't matter how common you are, there is always an uncommon, unforgettable memory which makes you always, either blissful or regretful. This I came to know, later.