1088 Words
Dola POV "She looks like such a pretty little thing." "I wonder what she would look like underneath that shirt." "No... No.." WACK! "Pathetic." "I am going to kill you, and then I will send your little body back to your twin brother." "Stop…" Crushing… I cannot breathe. He is going to crush my chest in. The same chest that he had just stared at. Cough. Cough. More blood. The sound of my ribs breaking within my chest rings in my ears. Cannot breathe… "No... No.." Wake up... Hands. I feel hands on me. Not again. I cannot go through this again. Free. Get free. Fight. "No! Don't touch me!" I scream out as I scramble away from the touch. A cry of pain hits my ears. It sounds and feels like it came from me, but I don't remember opening my mouth. My throat feels a little raw, though. Did I scream? Wait. Get away. The touch is back. You need to get away from your own nightmares. Using my hands, I use them to push myself across the hardened floor. I only stop when I feel my back hit a hard surface. Throwing my hands over my face, I bring my knees to my chest. Protect yourself. Make yourself seem small, and then they will go away. "Dola." Shaking my head, I won't let them trick me. "Dola, you are safe." Wait, I know that voice. "I promise you that you are safe. No one is going to harm you." "Ma?" My voice crackles out, like I have just been screaming, as I move my arms. "Ma." I sob out just as I throw myself at her. Wrapping my arms around her, I cry into her neck. Clinging to her, tears rain down my cheeks. Sobs wreck through my body. I haven't had a nightmare like that in weeks. 2 weeks to be exact. After everything that happened the first time I got kidnapped, it put me into some kind of trance. Where I wasn't really in my mind. It was like my body wasn't my body. Getting kidnapped the second time around was much easier to handle. I knew it was going to happen, although it caused me to wake up. It caused the fog to lift. No longer could I live in the clouds of what was done to me. I had to face the music. Nightmares plagued me. The feeling of their hands tortured me day and night. I was always looking over my shoulder as I felt stares on my body. I didn't dare tell anyone. Andrei was happy that no one was after his mate so he could be at peace. Peanut grew into his own. The family moved on from everything like nothing happened. I couldn't break everyone's bubble. I couldn't be the one to drag people down or have them blame themselves. So, I dealt with it. It took me a month to where I no longer was plagued with nightmares every night. Looking over my shoulder was a thing of the past, and the feeling of their hands left me. A whole month after the second kidnapping, I lived in hell as I forced myself to get over it. I was doing so good, for 2 weeks. But, if I am being honest with myself… I really wasn't doing good. I just learned to let out my torment while in the shower. There, I could scrub off their hands while I let my tears fall freely. 2 showers a day was me 'doing good.' Just moving through everyday motions was me 'doing good.' Forcing pieces of myself to go numb was me 'finally living.' I should have known that pushing everything down was going to bite me in the a*s. "Dola, what happened?" Ma's voice brings me back. Crap. Pulling myself off of her, I quickly wipe my face before plastering on a fake smile. "Sorry. I just had a bad dream." I didn't dare look at her as I spoke. I know one look from her would cause me to break. Making sure to keep my gaze on the ground, I climb to my feet. Brushing off imagery dust, I walk over to my bed, where I slowly get back into it. I keep my gaze trained on the comforter because I know I will break down if I look into Ma's eyes. "I know that wasn't just a bad dream, Dola." Crap. "I can see through you. I can see the pain holding your soul hostage. I can see the red blotches covering your skin after you take a shower. You only get red blotches like that when you scrub your skin really hard." I can feel my face heat up as Ma speaks. I didn't think anyone would notice the red blotches. "I.." My lie is cut off before it can even begin. "No. I will not have you lie to me or to yourself. You are NOT fine. Let me help you. Let me in." Ma pleads with me. Her pleading does me in. Ma never pleads, or at least, I have never heard her plea before. "When I was kidnapped the first time, I lied about what really happened. They didn't just hurt me… they touched me." I can barely get the words out as my voice cracks. "Did they?" Ma barely whispers. "No. They didn't rape me. I guess I should be thankful for that. All they did was touch me.." Before I could get another word out, Ma was right there with her hands cupping my cheeks. She raises my face until she is looking right into my eyes. "Do NOT downplay what they did to you. Do you understand me? They touched you without your consent. They took something from you, and I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this alone. And I am so sorry for putting you in the position to get kidnapped again." Tears filled my eyes as sobs began to fill my chest. "Oh, come here." Ma pulls me into her arms while I break down. Ma is right. They did take something from me that I will never get back. They took away my feeling of safety. They took away having my body feel like my own. They took away my choice of having my mate be the one to touch me where they did. They took away my choice…
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