I Regret Him

I stared at the matte black ceiling, hoping it will save me from the monsters that are haunting me. “Astrid, If you don’t have anyone in mind to marry- She sighed in frustration before mouthing the next words. “Harriett might take up your place.” My mother was clearly exhausted from all of the failure I did. She was obviously rooting for me to do something good and make myself worthy of my title. Everyone in the dinner had grown to hate me since the first time I rejected an engagement proposal. Starting from Aunt Mendelieve and Unce Dwyne. To Aunt Mary, Beadytthe, and Claudette. Uncle Hutch. And even my cousins, Gwynetthe, Claudine, Benedict and Polo. The only peope that still accepted me was Old Gregory and Western, Forest, Mom, Astley and the head of the Wynes Clan. Father Treigyllo. Harriett looked at me with those playful smirk on his lips. “Trust me, Astrid. I’ll be a better heir than you’ll ever be.” He made a screeching sound of his plate using the fork on his hands before picking up the meat and chew it loudly while staring me at the eye. “ Besides, I was really the one that should be in that position.” Indeed. He was originally the holder of the throne. He was a man. It is always stated on our heirloom book that the oldest male member will take up the family business and sixty percentage of our property. But, The thing is Harriett isn’t a legitimate child. He was the result of an affair between father and some w***e called Leonise Dylton. Although I was the star of this dinner. And everyone seems to be keeping an eye on me. I remained calm like I always do. It was my default response to every single conversation we had. Even though they were always criticising my personal decisions. My father finally spoke in the midst of chewing his food. “ Manners, Harriett.” It was low and calm. Yet, It seemed to shake up every courage Harriett had. Father stopped munching a bit and eyed me. “Marry Ethan Jones.” My eyes widen up and my eyebrows wrinkled due to surprise. This is the first time that my father hasn't took my stand. He knew that I always wanted to marry for love. Not for money or status. Besides, I don't even know Ethan Jones. I may have seen his name being associated with us on the wealth categoy, But I never even seen his face. Claudine scrunched her nose. "Tio, I'll marry Ethan. I told you that. I'll even give you little billionaires!" Old Gregory scoffed. “Father.” I wanted to reason out. “ I-“ “You should.” He was fond of using a word or two. They never exceed that count. But, When my father let a word slip through his lips. It would affect you more than a million set from everybody else. I loved my father more than anybody in this house. He always valued my perspective and my desicions. I have so much respect for him and disappointing him is the last thing I want to do. I've always followed his commands because I believe his settlements are the most logical thing to do. That's how much I trust him. My little sister, Astley interupped. “Why not let my sister marry her boyfriend?” She innocently partake in the converation. I gasped. How did she know? I hid it. I perfectly hid it from everyone. Everyone was also in shock as me. But my father.. His serious expression didn’t change. He always had that emotionless gray eyes that would freak the s**t out of your soul when you look into it. “I-“ My voice shattered. I was always confident and brave when speaking up. Even when I speak to the most well-known nobles and elites both in and outside the coutry . But, At this instance… It seemed to be that I lost all my courage and became a person full of cowardice. Aunt Mary exclaimed. "No wonder you ruined all your proposals." Uncle Dwyne gritted his teeth. " Full of Idiocy." Still, I should take this chance. It’s now or never. I’ve been keeping this for several years. I should let my self free. But, I still weigh on the consequences that my betrayal results in. Such as, Being kicked out of the Wynes family. Or worse, If My father cuts ties with me. “Astrid. Is this true?” Mother asked. The look of anxiousness is in her eyes. I knew she was hoping that it’s not. “I’m-“ I let out a big sigh before continuing. “I’m dating Giovanni Riofrer. "Everyone let out a big noise of disappointment. Harriett even stood up and thud his knuckles to the dining table. He screamed “Seriously, Astrid!? What are you even thinking?” Astley dragged the edge of Harriett’s coat. Trying to stop him. He’s dangerous when mad, afterall. Benedict looked at me fiercely while Gwynetthe whispered at his ears. Probably badmouthing me. My mother can’t believe it. My father’s expression hardly changed. His lips only pursed a little. I was scared. I don’t want to disappoint him. And yet, I did. I would not careless if I lost my reputation among these other Wynes. But, "F-Father..” I stood up and came to hold his arms. He will forgive me. He will. I hope. He looked me in the eye. How could someone do nothing and be very scary. A tear escaped my eye. “I-I’m sorry..” I kneeled. “ I-I’m sorry.” I kept apologising. My tears dropped like a rainstorm. It was unlawful to love Giovanni. But, A heart wants what it wants. I was always the best at disciplining myself. I just don't have any clue, Why must a stong heart soften because of love. Loving Giovanni is a betrayal to my family, Mostly, To the man I respected the most. He was the son of Harriett’s stepfather, Gideon Riofrer. Gideon and my father had an ongoing feud for almost four decades now. To add more fuel to the fire, Gideon was the reason of the blood bath that happened to Wynes clan, 26 years ago. The extermination took-away almost half of the Wynes that my dad had. Resulting fiery rage beneath my father's heart. I almost cried blood and scraped my knee while apologizing. I knew it was wrong, But the guilt only crept in my heart completely when I looked up and saw what's on my father's eyes. I would've accepted it easily if it was anger. But it was not it. He felt pain. I turned and tried to look at my mother. And it shattered me more when I saw my angelic mom's face sobbing with her palm on her mouth. "M-Mom" I called. She eyed me. I thought she will help me. I thought she would protect me. Instead, She reached the door and turned back at me. "You are nowhere near my daughter Astrid." It struck me. Being compared to myself. I lost hope. I didn't know what to do. I lost have my biggest supporter. I lost mom. Uncle Hutch stood straight. "Pardon my interuption, Treigyllo. But your daughter comitted such betrayal that shall affect our clan. What consequence it may be.. But, It shall be clear. There will always be.” He looked like he made a petition to punish me. “P-Papa” I called my father. He fixed his tie. “Stand up.” I lit up with hope. He might be forgiving me. When I was about to lift my knees to stand, He let out a big announcement. Clear enough to the whole room. “You are to be wed with Giovanni Riofrer. You are no longer part of our family since the day you chose his likes.” He turned his back off me and made the same exit as my mother’s. But he made it clear. “You are no longer my daughter.” Harriett’s expression soften. Astley let go of Harriett’s coat. Although Harriett might be a huge obstacle in my life. He loved me as his dear sister. “Sir- That’s too much—“ Papa eyed Harriett coldly. “She’s too much.” A tear drifted down my cheeks as all the Wynes stared at me with mixed emotion. Anger, Disappointment, Disbelief and Disgust. I was once the brightest candle that shined. But, The brighter a candle shines. The fastest it’ll burn. The faster it’ll burn, The more its wax drippings are messed up. I am a candle. And I am already messed up. The beloved heiress had fallen from her throne.