Forbidden Baby

Chapter 11 – My Girl

Freddie’s POV

It’s funny how things work out. When I was younger, I was so insecure, that I often played clown in class to get other kids to laugh, hoping they would like me. Sometimes it worked, but not often. Yet I continued to do it anyway.

As I got older, I fell into an easy friend group with Jenson and Lewis, they were misfits in their own right and somehow, we ended up hanging out. Zeke on the other hand was anomaly in our group. It wasn’t that none of us disliked him, but he was different.

I’m not entirely sure how he ended up befriending us, unlike us, he was quiet, insular, and bloody smart. I wondered if he did it to piss off his parents, who were super strict religious nuts. Although I had hoped over the years, he actually had grown to like us.

When we didn’t have an audience, we were actually alright and could hold a decent conversation. If I was honest, I liked Zeke the most, Jenson and Lewis could be irritating. But then again, so could I.

He could be super secretive, and sometimes I just wish he would trust us enough to open up a bit, well, mainly to me because I didn’t really trust the others either. I guess he had Hannah for that. Hannah was his best friend, but she never hung around with us.

I figured it was because we were too annoying for her. I didn’t blame her; we hardly gave her a reason to want to join us. They lived in the same village, so in school they hung around with other people and outside of school they had each other. I was a little jealous they were so close.

Zeke didn’t really seem to get on with his brother or sister, and he hardly ever talked about them. I found this strange, as they all had to deal with the same overbearing and obnoxious parents. I would have thought they would have wanted to stick together.

I didn’t have any siblings, so maybe I just didn’t understand. I had always wanted a brother or a sister, or both. I thought it would be great to have someone so close to share things with, and always have a friend and ally no matter what.

Maybe I was just being naïve and having siblings wasn’t like that at all. I would never know. I did, however, notice that his brother and sister, Gabreil and Tabitha were close. I often saw them walking home together, talking animatedly with one another, while I looked on from the window of the bus.

Gabriel went by Gabe in school to everyone bar the teachers. Zeke the same, the teachers refused to call him Zeke under his parent’s request, much to his annoyance. Tabitha, however, didn’t seem to mind her name, although I found it quite old fashioned.

I could barely judge, my parents named me Frederick for Christ’s sake. Quickly I became known as Freddie, although I still didn’t like it, it was better. They liked it too, which was a relief. I couldn’t imagine being forced to be called Frederick.

Gabe and Zeke were both good looking and often had girls swooning. I was a little envious, I had mousy brown unruly wavey hair, I was average height, average build and had dull blue eyes. There was nothing special about me.  

Tabitha on the other hand, was stunning. She had natural sleek platinum blonde hair that shone in the light. Her bright blue eyes sparkled, even on the dullest of days and her smile could light up a room. She didn’t smile enough, I thought.

She was also stuck up. She dressed like she was on a 1950’s tv show, she hated boys, seemed to have a natural distaste for anything remotely fun or funny and she always looked like she thought she was better than everyone else.

I wondered if this was why Zeke didn’t have much to do with her. He had secrets, I didn’t know what they were, but I knew he had them all the same. I for one wouldn’t trust that girl with my secrets, she seemed far too much like her parents if you asked me.

She always threw us dirty looks, but she didn’t know us. I found her rude to be so judgemental considering she was meant to be a devout Christian like her folks. But there was something about her that intrigued me.

Despite her captivating looks, which she seemed not to notice, she never once dated anyone. I questioned if this was because of her parents. I assumed they wouldn’t be overly happy about their little girl being involved in a high school boy romance.

She often did things to please them. I wondered if she actually enjoyed doing those things or not. It always seemed like she did. No one could be that good an actress, could they?

But the biggest confusion about this enigmatic girl, for me, was that her best friend was Loretta.

Loretta was my kind of girl. I didn’t fancy her, but I could see us being friends, in another life. She was funny, bright, and openly a little rebellious. She was also definitely not religious.

She didn’t seem to fit in with Tabitha’s social standing. Which is why I found it so odd that they were so close. How did that even happen. Tabitha did not seem to be the kind of girl who would choose a friend like Lorretta.

Not unless she was hiding something. I knew Zeke was, but I never pushed him to confide in me. But the more I thought about it, the more I had convinced myself there was more to this girl than meets the eye.

It wasn’t until that night at Loretta’s party that I finally got to know the real girl behind the mask. It would appear I was wrong; it was possible be that good of an actress. This girl had it down to a T! That is, my girl, Thia, who after one evening together, quickly became my everything.

I had always known I wasn’t a player. It had never been in my interest to mess girls about or be ‘that’ guy. I wouldn’t and couldn’t do it. That’s part of the reason I pretended to the lads I wasn’t interested in any of girls, because I knew they would soon figure out I wasn’t who I pretended to be.

I don’t know why I still acted the way I did around them, I figured it was because I had done it for so long, I didn’t know how to be any different around them, and they would think it strange if I suddenly changed personality.

I wanted to be in a proper relationship with someone who I could care about, dote on, and spend quality time with. I was old fashioned in that sense, I guess. I wanted something meaningful and equal. The lads would never have understood.

They would say I was too young and should sow my wild oats, live fast and free and enjoy my youth and freedom. But after seeing my parents go through a messy divorce and my Dad behaving that way as a grown ass man, there was nothing about that lifestyle that I wanted.

He once told me he wished he had never cheated on her. He thought that he had missed a whole world of experiences when he settled down so young and craved, during a midlife crisis, fast cars, and fast woman.

She left him, when she found out he was cheating on her, and he didn’t even seem that bothered. But the truth was, that she was the best thing he ever had, and his stupidity and foolishness made him lose her.

He now remained forever alone and unhappy and regrets all his life without her, this made me never want to be like him. I despised him for he did and look where it got him. Wishing he had never done it to begin with.

Thia and I had become incredibly close since that new year’s eve party. As well as my girlfriend, she was my best friend.  We could tell each other anything and although I knew she had her insecurities about me, I tried to reassure her that I would never hurt her.

I was her first boyfriend, but she had seen Loretta go though heart ache, so I understood her reservations. I wanted nothing more than to prove to her how much I cared.

We had lost our virginity to each other, and I hoped, when I kept my word, that it would stay between us and I continued to reassure her and show her affection, that she would start to believe how much I loved her.

In fact, I wanted to tell her I loved her because I did, so much. But I didn’t want to scare her. When she told me last weekend that she loved me, I felt like I was on top of the world. My heart swelled and I thought it may burst with my emotions.

I loved our Friday nights together; I would be lost without them. I never felt like I got to see her enough. I wished things would be different and we could be like a normal high school couple, but I knew It couldn’t be like that.

Only this Friday, she was meant to come to my house, and she never showed up. I was sick with worry. I wanted to call her and check she was okay, but I knew if she was with her parents that would cause no end of drama which we didn’t need.

I didn’t want to make things difficult or worse for her, but not knowing why she didn’t show was killing me. I was anxious I had done something wrong or upset her. I was desperate to know if she was okay.

Soon after 9pm, when I had given up hope that she was going to come, I had a weird message from Gabe of all people. He told me not to contact her on her mobile over the weekend and all would be explained on Monday.

This concerned me no end, firstly, what had happened for her to even tell him? I knew she hadn’t told anyone about me. But why was he messaging me and not her? I barely slept the entire weekend, stressing about it, a million scenario’s playing out in my head.

On Monday morning, I was already on the bus when we reached their stop. I was desperate to ask her what had happened, but I knew it would have to wait until we would meet in private. I would have to find a way to get a message to her to meet me after school.

However, as we approached the bus stop there was no sign of her. Zeke and Gabe got on and the bus drove away with no sign of her. My stomach lurched and I tried to hide the panic from my face. where is she?

‘Gabe, How’s Tabitha feeling?’ I heard one of her fake friends Sarah ask Gabe as she got on the bus. I tried to listen in, but the lads were being annoyingly rowdy as usual.

‘She’s doing okay’ was all he said. Then Sarah looked like she was going to burst into tears. This was so weird.

I couldn’t help but now ask Zeke, I had to know what was going on. I knew it was a risky move, but the not knowing was slowly killing me, and I was sure I would give something away if I didn’t get some information soon.

So, I turned to look at Zeke, ready to ask him where Thia was. As I opened my mouth and spoke, I didn’t miss the look Gave shot me as he shook his head ever so slightly to indicate for me to shut up. It was too late for that though; I had already asked.