Forbidden Baby

Chapter 9 – Gone

Thia’s POV

I was ushered back into the car with speed. The door shut firmly behind me and when Mum got in, she flicked the child lock on. Great. I was now captive. It had crossed my mind to run, but even so, I thought this seemed a bit excessive, I had nowhere to run too!

Dad pulled off the driveway and we started on our journey to god only knows where. We had barely left the village when Mum spoke.

‘Well, you seem to have put us in quite the position, Tabitha’ she spoke with such distain It made my skin chill ‘Your father and I can’t quite comprehend your behaviour. You disgust us’

What was I supposed to say to that?

‘But what is done, is done, and of course, it is now up to us to sort this mess out. We have come to a decision about what will happen, so I want you to listen very closely. Do you understand?’

‘Yes’, I saw no need to elaborate.

‘Good. We are taking you to a facility that houses young expecting girls. You have really given us no choice with your deceit. We have no other option if we want this to go away’ she seemed so cold.

‘It is costing us a fortune, so you had better appreciate it and stick to rules or so help you!’ my Dad’s quiet but firm tones filled the air and sent more chills down my spine.

‘In order to stay you must tell them you are keeping your baby’

‘I am keeping her?’ I said, eyes wide with relief and glee.

Dad laughed, but it didn’t reach his eyes, it was low and menacing.

‘No. You are not’ My mother stated, all hope and happiness seeped away to be replaced with a deep despair ‘But you will not tell them that, or you can’t stay. There is nowhere else for you to go. You will follow the rules, or you will be on your own and we and your brothers will disown you’

Dad spoke ‘Worse than that Tabitha, we will ensure you have nothing, and no one. Believe me, we can make it happen’

I was more afraid now than I had been when I found out I was pregnant. They were like cold hearted robots. I had never seen them act so sinisterly. It was almost like they had completely detached themselves from the reality. This was their granddaughter.

‘We have agreed to an open adoption with a family not too far from here. Your baby will go to them when you are free from the facility. This means, you will openly agree and sign your baby to the couple who in return will allow you to occasionally visit. BUT this is all under the agreement that you remain anonymous as her mother to both them and everyone you know. Do I make myself clear?’

‘Yes Mum, I understand’ I was trying to take in everything she was saying. It was all too much, but this gave me a small amount of hope, I could still see her, be a part of her life.

Mum seemed to soften a little as she said ‘Tabitha, you are too young to handle this, you have no idea how hard it is to bring up a child, and at your age, it will be a real struggle. Your father and I are in no position to help you. They are expensive, hard work, time consuming and they are a constant’

Maybe she was right, maybe I was naive to think I could do this alone, and too young take on the responsibility of being a mother.

‘If you fail to comply with any of the rules, or the adoption, we will have no choice but to put the baby into care or closed adoption. You will never see or hear from it again. So, I suggest you play by the rules’ Dad seemed so cold and calculating, and all my previous thoughts of acceptance seemed to dissipate.

I didn’t miss the look Mum shot Dad after he spoke. He seemed to return from his reprieve as he added more gently ‘Tabitha, we don’t mean to be so harsh, but we need you to understand the magnitude of the situation you have gotten yourself into and how important it is you comply. We are trying to help you, but first you must help yourself’

‘Okay’

‘Okay?’ my mum repeated, I assume for confirmation of what I meant.

‘Okay, I’ll do what ever you need me to do’

A small smirk of victory played across her lips, and I could see the relief flood Dad’s eyes before they glazed back over and became cold and dark once again.

‘Good girl’ Mum soothed ‘Just a few rules from us for when we get there. Nothing bad, it’s just for your own benefit’

‘Right, okay’ I spoke quietly.

‘They allow free access to the internet and mobile phones. We are allowing you neither. You don’t need any more distractions and crazy strangers giving you ideas of grandeur. They do not know the reality; it is fake news and will upset you’

‘Right’ of course this was Mum’s obvious reaction to the real world. Dad agreed.

‘They allow phone calls and provide a landline. But we will get the Bill, so we will know who you called and when. You call no-one, not even Ezekeil or Gabreil, they do not need to be involved in this drama as much as you do not need the involvement of them. You all need to accept and learn to move on in your own ways. This is happening, and the sooner everyone is on board and compliant the better’

‘I understand’ I hoped there wasn’t much more.

I felt like I was agreeing to sign my own death warrant, they were completely taking away anything that would allow me any freedom of contact with the outside world.

It was still only really early, but after the lack of sleep last night, and all that had happened so far today, I was exhausted and drained.

‘You will be living in the accommodation on your own, despite being encouraged to share. Most of the self-contained appartements having two rooms, we advised them you are a quiet and insular girl and sharing would not be good for your mental health. Socialising with these unruly, wild, and irresponsible girls is not going to allow you to accept responsibility for you actions or allow you to learn from your mistakes. We do not want you fraternising with them. At all.’

And there goes my only chance of social interaction gone.

‘Anything else?’ I asked softly, trying not to anger them or sound insulant, but just wanting to get this over with.

This time Dad spoke ‘You will keep up with your religious education, pray for forgiveness and remain devote in your approach to Christ. You will complete your studies; take your exams and we will be back a month after the baby is born to collect you. I will be in touch with the facility twice weekly minimum, to check on your progress and your behaviour’

‘Okay’ at least I will get to complete my exams.

‘Tabitha, we will know if you defy us, and if you defy them, you will be kicked out with nowhere else to go. Do you understand and accept all of this?’ Mum asked, almost too sweetly, it was creepy.

‘Yes Mum, I understand, I will do what you want me too, I won’t let you down’

We had driven to the outskirts of the city by now and turned into a slightly more rural area. We took a sharp left turn onto a small driveway lined with lush green trees, and in front of us was looked like a large redbrick manor house.

It had an open green either side of the driveway on the other side of the tree lines and in front it had two flower beds, blooming with colour and scent.

It looked welcoming and warm. It didn’t seem like an overbearing awful place, like the prison or institution I was expecting it to be. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Dad pulled in front of the house and shot me a look ‘Don’t forget yourself Tabitha’

‘I won’t Dad’ I sighed and waited for Mum to open the car door for me to get out.

‘We are counting on your discretion, don’t forget our agreement’ she added as I stepped onto the gravel and took my bag from the back seat.

Dad knocked on the large wooden door and it was opened relatively swiftly. I was suddenly very nervous, feeling small and insignificant behind my parents.

A smartly dressed, intimidating woman opened the door. She worse a grey dress suit and black Mary Kate shoes. She had slightly greying hair tied back into a neat bun and wore slim gold framed glasses. She had soft eyes, and a welcoming smile, but she undoubtedly held an air of importance.

‘Welcome, Mr and Mrs Mathews?’ she presumed correctly.

‘Mrs. Radcliffe’ My Dad held out his hand and she shook it.

‘And Tabitha?’ she questioned. I moved from behind my Dad, so I was in her line of view ‘Ah, hello there, don’t be afraid, please, come in’

We walked on through to the large open hallway and as I looked around my eyes landed on a large warming smile, from a younger woman who now stood before me. She was quite short, a little rounded and had a very welcoming aura.

I began to feel a little more at ease.

Mrs. Radcliffe turned to the young woman, ‘Ahh, Lilly, glad you are here. Would you take Tabitha to her room as we discussed, so she can get acquainted with her room and I will take Mr and Mrs Matthews to my office to discuss affairs’

I looked at Mum and Dad with wide eyes, was this is, where they just going to leave me here and be done with it?

‘Don’t look so worried Tabitha. We will only be about an hour; they will come back to say goodbye and see you are settled before they go. It’s not forever and visitors are welcomed outside of lesson times. When they have gone, Lilly will show you around and tell you everything you need to know, answering any questions you have’

‘Thank you’ I said quietly with a little trepidation. I tried to relax but I was internally a mess.

‘Come on sweetie, let’s get you to your room’ Lilly smiled ‘is that all you have with you?’ she asked.

I looked over my shoulder to see Mum and Dad give me a look before walking off in the opposite direction.

I turned to Lilly ‘Mum will drop some more things off for me, I don’t have anything that fits’

‘Not to worry, we have plenty of spares if you don’t mind hand me downs, a lot of the girls leave things behind, I’m sure we’ll have something for you’

I smiled at her kindness ‘Thanks you’

She led me up some stairs and there was a corridor to the right and one to the left. She led me down the one on to the right, where there were 6 doors. 3 either side.

‘This one’s yours’ she handed me a key and kept one for herself after opening the door ‘We keep a master, but we don’t use it unless we absolutely have too!’ she assured me.

‘Okay’ I appeared to have lost the ability to form complete sentences.

‘Try not to worry Tabitha, you’ll soon settle. Why don’t you unpack and I’ll hunt some clothes out for you? I will go over everything you need to know when you have said goodbye to your parents’

She turned and walked back through the door, shutting it on her way out.

I stood on the spot finding it difficult to take everything in. I went over the conversations from the car and what I could remember of them, in my head. Mum and Dad said so much. I was struggling to process everything; they had completely confused me.

They were like Jackal and Hyde, one minute they made my blood run cold, and the next minute they were making me believe they were doing this for my benefit.

As I looked around the small self-contained apartment, I realised, at this point, I had little choice to accept what they were saying and go along with it for now. What else was I going to do and where was I going to go. I was isolated, scared and alone.