Forbidden Baby

Chapter 15 – Honesty

Thia’s POV

Everything went back to normal, well, as normal as things were ever going to be for me while I was stuck in this place. Although I would never complain about it here, I felt lucky I wasn’t left high and dry. I wouldn’t have put that past my parents if I was honest.

I considered it may have been better if they had just kicked me out and disowned me, at least I could keep my little girl, but then, what kind of a life would I have ever been able to give her? It was a battle I had with myself daily.

I was excelling at school, despite my ever-expanding stomach, to the point where it had been advised that if I thought I could handle it, I could take my exams early. I was doing all my lessons online in a virtual classroom, and to be honest, I was bored.

With no distractions in class, and nothing else to occupy my time, I was already massively ahead of the national curriculum. I agreed to do it, I figured it was better to have my exams completed before the baby comes. Finding time to study, wasn’t an issue. It would keep my mind occupied.

If I passed them all, and I could increase my study schedule, if I was ready in May, I could take my finals and have completed my education a year early. I liked the idea of this, it would mean I would be ready to go to Uni the same time as Freddie and Zeke.

If we were all at City Uni together, things would be so much easier for me. I hoped Freddie would forgive me for the mess I had gotten us into and our plans to be together would happen so much sooner. We could see each other every day.

It was this that had gotten me through the last two weeks and would get me through the rest of my time here. I tried not to think about the impending birth, giving birth scared me, doing it alone petrified me and having to give her away was slowly eating away at my soul.

Today I was 25 weeks pregnant. I have passed the 6-month stage and so whatever happens from now on, I know this baby is being born and there is nothing my parents can do about it. I relax a little as Lilly and I head toward the car to make the journey for my follow up check.

When we arrive, I am a little more confident, I book myself in at the reception desk.

‘You seem more settled about the appointment today’ Lilly says as we make our way to the uncomfortable plastic seats in the waiting area.

‘Yeah, I guess I know what to expect this time’ it was a complete lie ‘Will I have the same midwife?’

‘I don’t know, possibly, but not guaranteed’

‘Oh, ok, I liked the last one’

Lilly smiled ‘That was my Mum’

‘NO WAY! I thought her eyes looked familiar, sorry; I can’t remember her name’ I said a little guilty as an afterthought.

Lilly chuckled ‘It’s Rosa, and yeah, she’s my Mum, we see each other lot here, because of our jobs’

‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’

‘Wasn’t sure if it would make you more nervous and if you were uncomfortable with her and knew she was my mum, you wouldn’t have told me’

‘What made you tell me now?’

‘You said you liked her, It’s the most I have heard you talk since you arrived a month ago, and well, I figured you probably wouldn’t mind that she was my Mum. We never discuss things we shouldn’t, and we only ever talk about work, in work’

‘I knew there was a reason I liked her, she is kind, and caring, just like you’ I really liked Lilly, she always made me feel safe and I trusted her.

She smiled awkwardly ‘Thanks Tabitha, That’s really sweet of you’

‘Promise not to tell anyone, especially my parents, but my brothers and friends call me Thia, when we are on our own, I miss my them’

‘They don’t like it?’ she questioned ‘Thia is lovely, and that is a small secret I can keep’ she winked, she then looked at me with a more serious undertone, ‘Why don’t your family and friends visit?’

We were getting into dangerous territory. But before I had to think of how to answer my name was called ‘Tabitha Mathews’ It was Lilly’s Mum, and I was really glad.

‘That’s me’ I called out and smiled as I walked towards a surprised but happy Rosa.

‘Well Tabitha, you seem much brighter today’ she said happily as she gave Lilly a small look and we headed to her treatment room.

‘Yes, I am, I am looking forward to seeing how my baby is doing’ I smiled.

‘Great, in that case, take a seat, I need to check a few things with you and then we can measure up’

‘What do you need to know?’ I asked still feeling positive about the appointment.

‘Your GP’ she paused and considered how to finish the query; I knew what was coming ‘he didn’t have record of your pregnancy’

‘Hmmmm, no, well, I may have been a little less than honest about a few things’ I shifted my eyes towards Lilly and pursed my lips. I knew I had to tell them a few truths at this point. They were going to find out soon enough.

‘Okay, well, tell us in your own time Tabitha, It’s important you tell us the truth so we can give you the correct care’

‘I know, I’m really sorry, I have just been so scared, and I panicked, and well, I thought, I don’t know what I thought, I just, didn’t want my parents to convince me to get rid of her. I already loved her’ I said truthfully.

It was the most truthful I had been since I had been in Lilly’s care, I thought they would be mad, but Lilly held my hand and gave it a little squeeze ‘You won’t be the first, or the last Tabitha’

‘Okay’ I sighed ‘I had my scan at the family planning centre here in the city. I am 25 weeks pregnant. My scan is in my room back at the house’ I waited for the onslaught, but it never came.

‘Well, that explains a lot’ Rosa spoke softly, ‘I will get the information I need and scan from them, you can keep yours’ she smiled ‘Now, if you get yourself ready on the bed behind the curtain, we will do a more accurate measure today’

She wasn’t angry or mad, and it made me feel worse than I did before. But I knew it had to be done, there were some things Lilly couldn’t keep secret for me, and that was one of them. I made my way behind the curtain and got onto the bed.

‘Ready’ I called, and they both came to my side ‘I’m sorry Lilly, I should have told you’

‘Don’t worry about it now, but I am going to have to report it to Mrs. Radcliffe, who in turn will have to tell your parents. It will mean a longer stay here’

‘I know’ I said a little more sadly, knowing that they were going to lose the plot with me, if they hadn’t already.

I mean, I had been here 5 weeks and I hadn’t heard from them once. It was like I had died or something. I had no idea what they were thinking or feeling about all this, or me and I was about to make it worse.

Rosa did what she needed to do, and she smiled wild ‘She’s doing really well Tabitha, but I think I would like you to have another scan, just to be sure, as you have only had one’

‘Sure, do I have to book it here?’

‘Go to reception and they will give you the next available date, it will probably be in a week or so’ she left my side a shut the curtain so I could get myself sorted and off the bed.

I came back to her desk ‘Is there anything else?’

‘No, your urine is clear, your blood work is normal, and I won’t need to see you again for a few months unless you need to see me’

‘Thanks Rosa, for everything’

‘Your welcome sweetheart, you take care of yourself now, you hear’

‘Will do’ I picked up my bag and coat, and Lilly and I left the room and made the scan appointment before going back to the car.

‘Thia’ Lilly sat down and hesitated before starting the engine.

‘Are you ok Lilly?’ she seemed distracted, and I worried I had upset her.

‘Yeah, I am going to do something I shouldn’t, but I get the feeling it is just the right thing to do’

‘Oh’ a slight dread filled my heart.

‘I am not going to tell Mrs. Radcliffe yet, about the dates, I will come with you for your scan, and I will tell her then. It just gives you a little bit of breathing space. But Thia, you can’t tell them I knew, I could lose my job’

I lent over the car seat awkwardly with my bump in the way and hugged her ‘Thank you Lilly’ even just an extra week gave me a little more peace, I had no idea how Mum and Dad would react and the thought of them finding out, petrified me.

We made it back in relative silence, but it was comfortable, and we were both deep in thought. When she switched off the engine, she turned to me.

‘Thia, I’ve been thinking, what if we say they got the dates wrong? That you didn’t know, that way, well, you won’t get into so much trouble’ I was floored by her willingness to help me.

‘Will you get into trouble?’ I didn’t want her to lose the job she loved and was so good at because of me.

‘Only if they find out, but Mrs. Radcliffe would understand, if I explained. She’s a good boss. But let’s just keep it too ourselves if we can’

‘Thanks Lilly, your really are amazing’

I considered telling her the truth about my situation, maybe she could help me, but I chickened out, I didn’t want to cause more trouble and end up regretting it. I could lose my chance to be in Baby Girl’s life altogether, and It wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.

We headed inside and I went straight back to my classes.

I had a week before my exams and after my last exam I had my scan, it would then be the Christmas break, but I knew I was in for a lonely Christmas, If Mum and Dad had planned on seeing or calling me, they would soon change their minds when they got the news about my due dates.

I tried not to think about it as I concentrated on my revision and prepared myself for my exams. I really needed to get through these. The difference of pass and fail, was monumental, and an opportunity I was not prepared to ruin.

As the week went by and the exams edged closer, I wondered if my parents knew I was taking them early, they never called me, so I wouldn’t have the chance to tell them, but I wondered if Mrs. Radcliffe may have.

If not, this may be another blow to them. If I passed both these and my other final exams and was ready to apply for Uni, they may actually blow a gasket. I hadn’t considered this before, and now that it dawned on me, I started to panic, perhaps I had done the wrong thing.

What if they didn’t let me go to Uni? What would I do then? I didn’t want to anger them! Keeping them on side was the only way I would get to have a part of my daughter’s life. I knew what ever deal they had made with the couple waiting for my baby meant nothing to them.

They wouldn’t care if they broke the hearts of these people, they would just whatever they could to keep this a secret, not caring one iota who they hurt in the process. I knew that when they threatened me. I wasn’t naive enough to think their word meant anything. I just hoped that it did.

I had nothing else to hold onto.

As I drifted off to sleep my mind was consumed with over thinking everything that may be happening on the outside word, like always, it was never ending.