It's ok for an Alpha to cry
1232 Words
Chapter 9
Alpha Erubas
"You can't keep staying like this without a mate, Alpha. You need to find another mate, or better still, let's choose one for you. Thank the gracious lord that one can always have a chosen mate," Lemuel, one of the chiefs utters, and I groan frustratingly while rubbing my forehead. This is the reason I detest coming to the castle, I prefer to live as a CEO peacefully amongst the human, but I can't deny the fact that I also have responsibilities here, right?
"We even went as far as hosting a birthday party for you yesterday and invited the maidens from the pack and other neighboring packs in a bid to get you a mate, but you didn't show up Alpha. What is really going on?" Lucas, another one says as he stands up to his feet, and I sigh briefly.
"Alpha, other Packs are going to mock us, and may even call our Alpha a weak impotent man that can't satisfy a woman which was why he hasn't gotten one in his life," Lucas further says, and that is it. How dare he call me impotent? How dare he insult me right in front of me?
"Do you want to die?" I roar angrily as I spring up to my feet and slam my hands hard on the long table, making them flinch.
"How dare you say that to me, Lucas? Do you have a death wish?" I slowly clench my fists and stare into space. My blood boils in rage like it'd just been set on fire, and my heart beats rapidly against my chest like it's going to force its way out of me soon. I gulp down nothing, trying so hard to control the anger that keeps trying to consume me because the sight of these fools is making me irritated.
I can feel Raul struggling inside me to take over and make them pay for the insults, but I try hard to tame him because it'll be a disaster if I should let him have his way.
"Forgive me, Alpha... I was just..."
"This meeting is over. You may all leave," I cut him off before I storm out of the meeting hall, heading to my study where I usually spend time whenever I feel infuriated.
"Ahhh!" I thunder angrily once I storm into the study, slamming my hands on the table and breathing heavily. My eyes itch badly as tears brim in them. I have never been so humiliated all my life, and what hurts most now is the fact that I can't even react to the insult because I can't hurt those bastards.
"Ahh!" I roar for the second time as I throw my head back, finally letting my tears fall freely down my cheeks. Yes, I'm the Alpha, I shouldn't be like this because it'll make me look weak, but you know an Alpha can cry, right? A man can f*****g cry when he's pained, and that is how I feel right now.
"Damn you all! Do you all know what I'm going through? Do you all have any idea about the pain I'm suffering and still trying to look fine? How dare you call me that filthy name in front of me?" I hit my hand on the table continuously as I mutter to myself. As much as I want to scream my lungs out and tell the world the pain I'm feeling inside me, I also have to endure everything. If I cry my pains out, who do I want to comfort me? Who will my people cry to if I'm crying to them?
The sound of my ringing phone pulls my attention, and I quickly bring it out of my pocket. I didn't know that I brought it here with me.
Seeing Sophie's name displayed on the screen, my anger miraculously fades away, replaced with excitement that I shouldn't even be feeling since I want to distance myself from her.
"Hello, Sir," Her voice sounds through the phone as soon as I answer the call, and my heart flutters in excitement.
"Hey," I reply to her casually.
"Uhm... I just wanted to ask if you got home safely," She asks, her voice quivering slightly, and I wonder what is wrong with her.
"Are you okay?" Worried, I ask her instead.
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just a bit... nervous," She replies to me, and I slowly nod my head although I have no idea why she's nervous. I feel like I shouldn't pressure her to tell me things like that, knowing that it may make me look like a chatterbox or an irresponsible young man that doesn't mind his business.
"Alright. Anyway, I got home quite early. I'm about to sleep now. You should also get some sleep," I reply to her, and she hums.
"Hmm. I will hang up now," She whispers before the call drops dead, and I sigh deeply.
"Have you gotten a girlfriend already?" I turn around to see Noah leaning against the wall, and I sigh briefly.
"I didn't ask you to come inside, why did you?" I ask him as I pull out the chair and sit on it, pretending everything is fine.
"I don't really need your permission to do that, Erubas," He replies to me sarcastically before he walks over to sit on the chair across from me, and I turn my gaze away from him. Unlike some other Alphas that are best friends with their betas, my case is different. Although Noah and I were quite close before and you can call us best friends, but everything changed five years ago after the death of my first mate, Emily. I found myself drifting away from not only him, but every other person I used to be close to, and I eventually became an introvert that now hates the presence of people.
"I want to be alone, Noah. Can you go, please?" I ask him, even though I know he won't listen to me.
"And what makes you think that I will leave you alone because you want me to? What has come over you, Erubas? I've tried so hard to keep up with this, but it's driving me nuts each day. Even if you're going through some shits, why don't you just share it with me and stop being like this?" He snaps at me angrily as he slams his hands on the table, and I shut my eyes. Noah has been the friend anyone would ask for, he has tried his best to be close to me like we were even if I kept pushing him away. I just hope he understands that I just want to be alone in this difficult time.
"I told you to leave me the hell alone, Noah! Just get out and stop bothering me, is that too much to ask?" I yell at him this time, intending to get him pissed so he can leave, but he rather stares at me calmly.
"This is not you, Erubas... What is wrong with you? Just talk to me," He utters calmly, and I bite my bottom lip before I stand up to my feet.
"I think I would have to leave this place for you. Excuse me," I say to him before I stride out of the room, slamming the door behind me...
- Writer
