NO SAINTS HERE

RINA'S POV I just got back from work and i don't even know how I was still standing. It wasn't just today. Today was just the day my body decided to finally send a memo about everything I had been ignoring for months. There were files still sitting on my desk when I left. Unfinished. I work a nine to five and I had more than enough hours to get through them. I just didn't have anything left inside me to use it. Somewhere between morning and afternoon the day just... slipped. And I watched it go and couldn't do anything about it. Everyone at work could see I was falliing behind. I could feel them seeing it. That look people give you when they've quietly decided you're a problem they're waiting for someone else to solve. How was I supposed to explain that to my boss? That I was tired in a way that had nothing to do with sleep? That I was drowning and had gotten so good at treading water that people mistook it for swimming? Nobody would get it. I grabbed my bag and left before someone could hand me one more thing I didn't have the strength to carry. My feet were killing me by the time I reached the door. Every step felt like a punishment for something I couldn't even name. I twisted the knob and stepped outside. The evening air hit my face and for exactly three seconds I felt something close to relief. Then I heard her. "Hey Rina." Brandy. I stopped walking and turned around slowly. She was standing by the entrance looking the way she always looked, like she had just stepped out of somewhere expensive and wanted everyone to know it. Bright smile. Dead eyes. Brandy was my colleague. She was also a b*tch. And who the f*ck names their child Brandy? An alcoholic drink. A whole alcoholic drink. I didn't need to meet her parents to already know everything about them. "You look a mess today." She tilted her head like she was genuinely concerned. "As always. Are you okay?" I really wanted to pull her hair. I smiled instead. "Yes I'm okay. Thanks for asking." She looked me up and down with that disgusting look of hers. Slow. Deliberate. Then she walked away like I wasn't worth another second of her time. I should have screamed at her. Told her I hated her. Put her in her place so well she wouldn't recover until next week. But I didn't. Who the f*ck smiles at someone who treats her like that? I did. Apparently. I turned back toward the parking lot and kept walking. My car was exactly where I left it, kept in the far corner like it was embarrassed to be seen. Old, tired, with a passenger door that groaned every time you opened it. Just like its owner. I got in and drove home. I took a deep breath before I even touched the door handle. Just stood there for a second preparing myself. Because if my workplace broke me down slowly, my home did it all at once the moment I walked in. I twisted the knob with that familiar fear I could never quite shake. The one that lived in my chest every evening on the way back. The "what will I find today" fear. I opened the door. And there he was. Reggie. My husband. Asleep on the couch with a beer bottle hugged to his chest like it was the most precious thing he owned. I counted about ten empty bottles scattered across the floor. Maybe more. Snacks everywhere. Beverages knocked over. A half eaten pizza sitting on the table like it had given up on life. And the smell was terrible. I thought it was vomit at first. That heavy sour smell that hit you before you even fully stepped inside. It wasn't just the smell. There was actual vomit on the floor. Dried up. I stood in the doorway and stared at it all. Then I put my bag down and started cleaning. I didn't even take off my coat. I grabbed the broom and started sweeping. The only sound in the room was Reggie snoring. Loud and shameless like a man who had done nothing wrong. Like a man who had done nothing at all. I swept around his feet. Didn't wake him. Didn't say anything. I don't know if that made me patient or just stupid. Probably stupid. I had been enabling this for so long I couldn't even tell the difference anymore between choosing peace and just giving up. This wasn't even the worst of my problems right now though. I had applied for a promotion at work. The email was supposed to come today and the official announcement would be tomorrow morning. I had been checking my phone every twenty minutes since noon like that would make it arrive faster. I deserved it. Best worker award. Best punctuality twice in a row. I had given that company everything I had for years. That was before Reggie and the drugs. Not the regular kind. The hard kind. The kind that changed a person so completely that sometimes I looked at him and genuinely could not find a single trace of the man I married. I swept the vomit into a corner and tried not to think about how my life got here. Then I heard a phone ring. It had to be mine. The promotion email, maybe they called instead. I dropped the broom and moved fast, faster than my tired feet had moved all day. I grabbed it and pressed it to my ear. "Hello?" Silence for a second. Then a voice. Soft. Familiar in a way that had nothing to do with me. A woman's voice. And the shock hit me so hard Iike ice water being poured on my body.