Jaded heart

Little break

Gabriella pov

Being back in the field is something I have looked forward to since I was shot and then sidelined till I got the all clear from my doctor which did take time but now that I am good I have tried to book the field to train on deactivating bombs but I couldn't get the field till now and I look forward to getting my head into my work, with the way the bombs are improving I need to make sure I am updated with the new techniques people are using, the sneaky bastard are getting clever which means I have to up my game more and more. I remember the first time I almost got blown up as the timer wasn't correct and now each time I work quicker not wanting to rely on the timer that is ticking down, I almost lost my fingers that time and I definitely wont be making the same mistake this time. Strapping myself up with the equipment I have I make sure everything is strapped down completely as these may be practice ones doesn't mean that don't go off and create a mess, the smoke is real and theres a little bang that makes me ears ring. Checking myself over and over again I finally head down to the field where the fake bomb is placed ready for me, I have my radio in my back pocket incase of an emergency but no one really interrupted me when I am in the field. 

Looking at the bomb the first thoughts that are running In my mind is that I'm in love, just the sight of this beauty and I am already falling for the thing, its just my type; deadly. Standing there for a second I get a good look at it before stepping closer and moving wires around needing to know which wire connects to what, the last thing I need is to cut the wrong wire. Unscrewing the timer I look at the wires underneath trying to judge if the timer is correct as I am not making the same mistake but as I cut one wire I hear voices on my radio and suddenly I am on my arse in the middle of white smoke. 

"f**k" the word slipped out my mouth as the bomb went off knocking me straight onto my arse, I cant believe that just happened I knew I should have turned the radio completely off but I guess that was my mistake which I'll definitely wouldn't be making again or anytime soon. Climbing back feet I kick the bay that the bomb is sat on annoyed with myself and the fuckers voice I heard on the radio, the dickhead knew I was with a bomb, who makes someone jump when they are cutting wires. Removing the helmet I roll my eyes as I walk back towards everyone feeling pissed off I got myself blown up, this hardly happens to me, feeling more annoyed at myself I strip the protective gear off and head back to base needing to run this annoyance off, I don't know whats wrong with me or know why I am jumpy. I am always calm and collected but today I feel off like I am missing something, I am always being watched and judge knowing I need to keep improving myself so the stress isn't new to me but I cant pinpoint whats wrong with me.

Kicking the floor and everything I can as I walk back to base I still feel the angry in me wanting to be let go and the only thing that helps is running laps around the bases track, I love deactivating bombs but today can kiss my arse. Reaching the track I start stretching loosing my muscles before I start running, the last thing I need right now is picking up an injury which I don't need as I want more action however theres nothing happening as of yet its like the world is quiet or secretly plotting underground. Jogging around the almost empty track I keep my head down and towards myself needing the space to run this frustration off or I'll snap at someone when I don't mean too. I don't know how many laps I have done but I feel the sweat pour off me it doesn't help that the sun is above me as I run but it feels good just to run everything off without having a distraction in front of you but as I think I have a zero distractions, one walks over with a smirk on his lips, Donte. 

"Back to training are we, the weekend must have been good" the smug bastard says with a smile knowing just what happened this weekend but he acts like love struck puppy sometimes, looking at Donte I find myself smiling also as he's right it was a good weekend, every time we spend the night together its good and he knows it but the chemistry between us is only physical as I cant afford to commit or have a oops moment like we did at the weekend, the last thing I need right now is a child, theres nothing wrong with children and having a career but I don't want to be someone who will be absent majority of the year, I want to be part of my child life when I have one, maybe in a couple of years but right now I am happy. I am an army brat so I know how it is and lucky me it was only my father, I couldn't imagine having both parents in the army. Moving around constantly isn't something I want to do if I decide to bring a child into my life, and I have no plans to, I am really happy where I am and I still want revenge still to this day. 

"Little smug aren't you" I say stepping up to him knowing full well he will close the gap so I can drop him on the floor, he will then know how it feels to fall on the floor like he watched me on the circuit. Placing my hands behind my back I give him a little wink before moving closer in and before he knows whats happening Donte is on the floor still with a smile, I don't even have time to think as he drags me down with him, I should have known the i***t would have done that. Laying on the floor we both just look up at the sky watching the cloud as neither of us want to move, I don't know what his response is but I need to catch my breath from the laps, my fitness has dropped slightly but nothing a little more training couldn't do. 

"I best get back to work" I finally say breaking the silence between us which has never been awkward, the silence between us has always been a calm one as sometimes we just enjoy each other company without words, I never let anyone close enough to me expect Becca but it feels good to just spend time with Donte even if its only for a couple of minutes. 

Donte is first to his feet as he helps me back to mine without a problem, letting go off his hand I give him a smile before turning around, I am fighting against myself to turn around but that would be a girlfriend move and we are just friends with benefits right now, neither of us are wanting anything more. Walking back to the fields I am ready to deactivated another bomb hoping this time I don't get blown back on my arse, however this time I am leaving my radio with everyone else like I should have done before. Strapping the overprotective gear back on I am ready for round two with the bomb, this time I am taking this round.