When Returned My Remaining-Love

What a fancy night with all these glinting lights and warmth of the crowd! It's the best, the merriest night of my life and I already know it because I am bliss and bliss is me. As I look up at the overcast sky I undergo a leaping sensation that my life is gonna change for good. These clouds seem to have built the craze of the jag but I don’t care. Watching the darkness is a treat; only that it’s not actually dark but I know rain might pour any moment and I’ll be drenched with wishes and greetings from all these people around me, and I’m mentally preparing myself to not stop smiling for the next couple of delightful hours. Will it rain? Hahhh… I don’t know. The music is raving loud and I can’t focus on anything in particular… not tonight at least. The neon lights want all the attention for them. It’s okay babies… I’m not complaining. You can hold on to the spotlight for another 15 minutes I suppose. Oh, look it's a war between the thunder and the DJ. Don't know who'll win... Gosh! Definitely the DJ, he just turned the volume up challenging nature I guess. It’s quite a wild party but with a lovely feeling. I’m literally struggling to keep my eyes off my clean-cut Robert, yeah my boy. When did he shave? I was too busy in the preparations that I had not noted his sprouting follicles until now AND he looks remarkably SEXY…. A-oh, time to look away! Our eyes have met. Every time I look at him, I fall more deeply for him. His eyes mirror my feelings and my lips twist with his gaze. There’s nothing new but it always makes my veins wobble and my blood gush. Wait…did he just beam at me? Does he already know what I’m up to? But how can he? I guess it’s just one of his replete looks and I have to be honest - when he looks at me like that in a crowd I forget everyone and everything. It’s just me, him and love. But his smile has narrowed and his eyes are shining more than ever. Okay… he’s just looking at me without a clue that he’s looking at me. Silly us! He doesn’t know how madly we’re gonna dance tonight. It’s still a mystery that which one of us will be cheering louder… It has to be him. My voice is high pitched and as for him I can’t say, sometimes he’s loud and clear, sometimes it’s husky which I totally love and he uses that when I’m mad at him and… and occasionally he speaks like he’s struggling to give words to his emotions. The mermish jabbering however has started since the past couple of months and it only tells me that I mean a lot to him, more than I can ever imagine. I love him and I’m ready to love him more but silly boy is still oblivious to the surprise. No one would have told him for even his closest friends swore to me to not tell him until it’s time. And it’s time. I have watched the clouds enough. Right now, right here I have to do it. But why is he smiling at me like that? I’m so nervous. Had it been only my decision I’d never do this so openly but it is going to be an adventure and a treat to all our friends. And as for me, I’ll be beginning a new chapter. Oh my God! I’m highly strung right now but it feels warm and exciting. Oh No! Here he comes. I clear my throat in advance. Robert – Are you okay? [It’s his husky tone of speech but I’m not mad at him and… …. Did you really have to ask this? I’ll be more than just okay shortly my love.] (I sigh deeply.) Robert – I’ll be back in a couple of minutes. [He pulls me closer. Ah! My heels just lost their balance and this purple dress is really short, I mean it rises an inch every time I move and Robert doesn’t look so happy about that. Oopsy] Robert – Aren’t you cold? Me – A bit! [Hadn’t I cleared my throat? Why is my voice so low?] Robert – Then why did you wear this dress? Me – Because you like purple… don’t you? Robert – I don’t see much purple here. I can see your bare thighs and they are not purple. [Meanwhile he glances around and opens his jacket and WITHOUT asking me he drapes it around my shoulders. OMG! His coat is longer than my dress but he isn’t so tall after all.] Robert – That happens when you wear heels all the time (smiles). Me – So you can read my mind? Robert – No, I can read your eyes, your breath, your lips, your warmth, your EVERYTHING. I can read you My Heartbeat. [Okay Okay. I’m sure my heart is now beating much faster than ever.] Robert – Why don’t you sit for some time? I’ll be back soon. Gotta confirm my ticket and then we’ll leave this disturbing place (He kisses my forehead) Me – Sure! [I watch him turn to leave but as I’m about to recline he looks at me with a naughty charm.] Robert – That will indeed be a relief to your racing heartbeat. (He smiles and finally walks away wearing his grey shirt tugged under the black jeans I picked up for him. Why does he always look so presentable?) I’m as amazed as always about him speaking out my thoughts. Yes, he does this more often now and I’m still surprised. But I’m in no mood to sit and wait for him because I have my plans and this is the best time to uncover the spot for him, er- for us. What could be better than this re-union party to propose him? Besides ours is the only relationship that survived after college got over. I always knew it would, and everyone else too was optimistic about us because we’re old enough to know the difference between true love and whatever else it is. A voice – Hey Alice! Step out of your wonderland and come stand here. It’s all set. I turn back. That’s David, one of our closest friends. He was the one who helped Robert propose me in college and today he’s helping me propose Robert to marry me. Yes, we’re still young and perhaps the first to get married in our entire friend circle but when everything’s smooth you better get hitched. My mother knows about him. She also knows all about today that I’ll be proposing him publically. To be honest, I’m the princess type so I’d have preferred Robert to do it. But then dear David suggested me to take this step for Robert has always made the first move. I at once agreed to David still he went on with how ME proposing ROBERT would teach other girls to break the stereotypes and maybe one day girls wouldn’t at all hesitate to propose boys. Funny thing! My mother too advised me to follow this advice as she takes it as women empowerment. Cheers to her. What else do you expect from an activist focused on emboldening girls? Anyways, the point is that at the end it actually was my own free will to do this and right now I feel more than just super ready for it. The corner is ready. It feels so special. I guess Robert already knew about all this and that’s why he gave me some time to prepare for this surprise. So considerate my boy! I’m just an inch from starting a new journey and all these people around me are adding on to my strength. But Robert is taking his time. Great! I’m that patient so I can wait but all these people won’t wait for so long but also Robert wouldn’t take so long. I take a look at the gallery of photos that David has arranged as a backdrop of the little podium which Robert and I will be sharing shortly and marking the new beginning of our lives. It’s beautiful. I already love it. It’ll be the first thing I post on f*******: ‘Us standing before our memory lane to create more memories’. Nice caption! Of Course I’ll be thanking David for everything. Meanwhile David leaves to fetch Robert. Oh! Isn’t it all so romantic? I’m lost in thoughts snuggling in my boy’s coat, watching the sky with a dry throat; only if it could rain and wish me luck… and, hah he finally comes in. My eyes are fixed on his even though we are quite distant. Ooops, I’m getting nervous again. I mean who gets nervous in proposing a boy whom you’ve been dating since four years? Well, Alice of course. Yes that’s my name. Tik-tok, tik-tok, tik-tok… Robert is talking to David and I’m not patient anymore. I’m obliging him by all this and he hasn’t even noticed this little special corner. I really need to drink a little. I grab Abigail’s glass, my bestie, and slurp it in one go. Abigail – Since when did you join the drinking club? Me – Since now. (I grab one more glass and there I go watching Robert having a heart to heart conversation with David. Now I’m kinda losing my cool but I’ve to smile for all these idiots… Haha!) (After some minutes of waiting I feel little unstable) Abigail – Had I known you’ll marry him I’d have never EVER… (with a slurry speech) … Forget it… You’re both just FINE. Me – Thanks Abby! (I wail slyly) Abigail – You’re welcome for the drink. No more advices to you. Me – What are you saying? [Abigai’s voice is intoxicating me more than the beer and I so wanna speak like her “Hu-A”] [Abigail imitates my hiccups] Me – Not fun-A-nny! What Advice? Abigail – About dating other guys… Forget it. Now you’re gonna commit to a single stupid guy for your whole life. A guy who makes you wait for….. Nothing – Here he comes (forces a smile) - FINALLY Me- Is he looking at me? Don’t make it obvious that I asked you to check if he’s looking at me by looking at him. Abigail – Alice! We’re not in college. Wake up. Robert and you are already an item. Me – I don’t feel good. [The weight of my body is fluctuating from high to low. I try my level best to stand straight.] Abigail – Welcome to the drinking club. He’s looking at you. Act normal and go on the dais. I’m sending him there. (Abigail walks to the bass and unplugs its wires.) David – The switch would do Abby! (yells) Me – Haha! She’s not in her senses [I laugh franatically] David – And so are you (confusingly) Me- Ah… My head [Abigail pushes me on the dais and warns me to be steady and then my eyes meet with Robert’s. He’s trying to say something but I’m not sure if that is meant for me. David and Abigail are bringing him towards me.] Abigail takes to the mic and announces “Gather up people. You’re gonna see something which you’d have never expected all your life… Just kidding… (Twitches) SOMETHING which was evident from the very first day they got together. Robert and Alice… Sorry… ALICE and ROBERT! Abigail looks at me “Love you”. Then she throws a stare at Robert “You better take good care of her” Robert – What is all this? (Whispers beamingly) [He’s still exploring the backdrop] David – You’re gonna figure it out soon. (Robert steps on the podium dubiously and moves his hand on my forehead.) Robert – You did all this? [I can see his eyes are wet. Oh! Did I hurt you? No, you’re emotional right now. Sweet Lord] (Suddenly the crowd starts screaming in chorus) Crowd – C’mon Alice Say it to him. C’mon Alice! Abigail whispers “Propose him girl” [Alright] Me – Robert, Will you be my boyfriend? (The crowd bursts into laughter and I don’t understand why. Robert too is smiling.) Robert – Nice prank guys. I think Alice and I should start dating each other. (sarcastically) Me – What? You like me? [I feel fluttery. It’s a victory. I did it. Thank you clouds! Now you can shower some rain.] Robert asks Abigail “She’s drunk. Isn’t she?” To which Abigail nods. He pities my condition and smilingly holds my hand. “Let’s go on a date Alice” and steps down the dais. Abigail grabs me towards her and reminds me “You moron. Robert is your boyfriend. You have to ask him for marriage. Go now.” [Oh Yes, something’s fuzzy. Okay marriage, marriage, marriage. Let’s do this then.] Robert - Don’t say a word. We’re going home. Come on. [I look at the backdrop. It’s full of Robert and me. Oh yes, I remember everything. That bloody drink got me drunk.] Me- Wait…. Mr Robert, WILL YOU MARRY ME? [There’s a loud hoot but I feel dreamy and tired. I wish it is over soon and I get back home in his arms. I know I can yawn anytime but I won’t. I have that much self control. I’m a girl after all.] Robert freezes for a moment and then says “Let’s first know each other. You just asked me out. Remember? Come on.” Crowd – Answer her boy. We can’t wait. Robert – She doesn’t even know what she’s saying. She’s not well. She’s drunk. Let me handle her. And thank you everyone for this lovely setup. Now kindly excuse us. [In his loud voice] David – Robert, She’s drunk but she actually proposed you. I mean we planned this. It wasn’t a random thing. Robert stays quiet and looks around and asks “Do they all know about it?” This time it’s a whisper. Abigail – Yes. You have to answer. We weren’t expecting ___ THIS. Me- Come on. Let’s go back to the stage. I was having my moment. [I drag Robert and he doesn’t move an inch] Robert – Alice, You need to get home. Don’t create a scene. Abigail - She’s not the one creating scene. (yells) Robert – What do you mean? Abigail – You should know. Me – FOR GOD’S SAKE ROBERT WILL YOU MARRY ME OR NOT? JUST ANSWER IT. WE HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO. WE HAVE TO DECIDE THE VENUE FOR OUR WEDDING AND YOU DECIDE TO PLAY IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. I DON’T APPROVE OF SUCH STUPIDITY. (Angrily) Robert – Are you coming home or not? Me – NOT WITHOUT AN ANSWER. Robert – Alice, we’ll talk about it. (Turns to David) You should have told me. Abigail – Talk about it? I now doubt that you’ve been playing with her all this time. Robert – Don’t you tell me that. Me – WHY NOT? THE TRUTH HURTS. RIGHT? I’LL MAKE EVERYTHING EASY FOR YOU. (I start plucking all the pictures from the backdrop. I feel dizzy. David pulls me back. I feel sleepy but wait… Robert is running away from… No! Someone wake me up. The drink sucks!!!) David – OKAY EVERYONE. THE PARTY’S OVER. EXTREMELY SORRY FOR THIS. We’ll sort it out and of course you’re all invited in their wed… Er… Thanks for coming… (The crowd starts to move away with their quips and taunts and only close friends stay. Robert gets down and sits on the dais sinking his face in his palms.) Abigail – As expected (claps and shrugs as if she’s watched a brilliant performance) [Robert does not reply. He’s still not lifting his face. I’m taken aback. David walks to him and finally Robert lifts his head with bloody eyes. He looks at me but quickly shifts his focus on Abigail.] Abigail – It’s me who offered her the drink. She didn’t knowingly embarrass you. It was supposed to be a Nice proposal... A sweet- She wasn’t in her senses. Robert – She didn’t… She can never embarrass me but… (takes a deep breath) Take care of her. (sighs) David – We’ll plan it again. This time just some of us. Cool Rober- Robert – Stop it Dave… It’s not what you all are thinking. I’m going home. Sorry! Abigail – What do you mean? Robert – Take care of her. I won’t be able to do it any longer. [Robert’s words fill my ears like a sharp sword directly plunged into my heart. I start crying. I just can’t take it anymore. No one’s waking me up. I shake my head and wiggle my toes. I’m still here. I’ve to tell my Robert about this nightmare. Okay one more try and I’m up I know, but as I try to breathe, a water droplet falls on my right cheek. I look up at the starving sky. It’s real… It is... Oh No! Robert is really dodging from…. Noooo!] Me – Never ever we will sort it out Robert. [Robert looks at me and gets up. He comes to me but hesitates from touching me as if it’s not morally right to do so.] Robert – Stop crying please. (inhales) I’ve nothing to say anymore. [He looks guilty, he should be but what’s the matter?] Me (sobbing more and more) – Why are you doing this? Am I really worth it? Answer me. (I try to hold him) Robert – I’m really sorry. (Steps back) [For a moment I still can’t say what’s happening. The place was full of people, I proposed Robert whom I was dating for four years now and he loved me more than I did to him… and? And he doesn’t wanna commit to me! I process it again and again and then burst after his repeated apologies.] Me – And I’m really thankful that you brought me out of my wonderland. [Robert turns aback and starts leaving without a word. I stop him at once.] Me – Can’t you see how much I love you? Why are you breaking my heart? Why are you breaking me? Robert – I am sorry. Me – Are you serious? (I can’t control my tears. I look at David) Me – I thought you’re my side. You pretended to help me only to blow me up like this… with this really really stupid prank. (I’m crying I know but I give a senile smile shaking my head) David – It’s nothing like that…_____ ABBIGAIL! This really isn’t funny. ROBERT! (He looks at both of them) [Abigail gives David an angry stare and then marches to hold me infuriated at Robert. I look at her with hopeful eyes sloshed in tears but her expression tells a different story which I can’t even listen to.] Abigail – Maybe Robert planned this prank on his own with some other girl. “SHUT UP” I snap on Abigail. I feel like the ground just moved so fast. “Nothing like that… It’s not… ROBERT… TELL THEM… Tell me”. I’m totally trapped in this nightmare. Robert – Alice, I would have told you soon that we need to…. To let go of each other but… [His eyes still sparkling red. He can’t face me? This has to be a bad dream] Me – That’s all you have to say? You never thought about marrying me. Why? [I don’t even know if I’m audible because I feel like throwing up] What kind of girl will be your wife? Robert – I have to go. Please forgive me. Alice, we had to separate one day but I never thought it will happen like this. Me – Oh! So when I was busy planning to marry you, you were busy thinking about breaking up. (I feel giddier than before.) Robert places his hands on my shoulders to which I instantly repel and wipe my tears then everything gets blurry and darkens. I let out a few ceaseless wails and perhaps pass out with the loud thunder above me. I can sense being carried by some people and then………………… I don’t know. . . . . . .