My ex is my soulmate

Chapter six - Expressing my feelings

Austin's POV:

Living in one room with Ally is not easy. I don't know about her, but for me it's weird. Seeing her every day without being able to do anything is awful. We used to spend a lot of time together, but now this is awkward. I would love to do the same things with her as before, but I don't know how she will feel. In the beginning, I thought that it was a coincidence that both of us are here, but I started to change my mind. To be in the same place is understandable, but in the same classes and room, it's too much. It's visible that both of us feel uneasy, but we have to deal with it. I know that Ally has told Macy and Toby everything. If I have to be honest, I'm not mad. They are our friends and deserve to know everything. Toby told me what his best friend's plan was and I hope that, since she knows everything, she won't do something like that again. Ally and I already feel bad about it. Macy doesn't need to make it worse. I know that she did it with good intentions, and I appreciate her help, but if something is meant to be, it will happen. Maybe not soon, but one day. I won't lie that I would love to fix my relations with Ally. I still have feelings for her and no matter what I do, I won't forget her. To be honest, I don't want to do it. She became a very important part of my life, and I am happy that I met her. If only I hadn't said all those things to her. 

Today is my first practical course. Last week, every teacher explained to us what they will want from us this year and what we'll do. This week we'll start working. I won't lie that I am more excited about the practical courses than the rest of the subjects. After all, that is why I am here. I don't know what exactly we'll be doing, but I'm sure that I will learn something new. At least this will distract me a little bit from Ally. I need to occupy myself with something different than her. 

I woke up and saw that she was already ready for class. We still have more than half an hour. She looked at me, and we made short eye contact. I got up and went to get ready as well. When I came out of the bathroom, I noticed that my bed was made. She doesn't need to do this, but I appreciate it. I changed my clothes and sat next to her. Ally didn't even look at me. It will be harder than I thought.

- Thank you for making my bed. 

- I didn't do anything.

- Then who did it? The fairy godmother. - I said, sarcastically

- Maybe. 

- Learn to lie before you do it. 

- What do you want?

- Nothing. Only to say thank you. 

- Ok, you said it. Now you can go. 

- You know that we have the same class, right?

- So? This doesn't mean that I will go with you. 

- Then enjoy being late. I'm out. 

Why does she have to be like that? One day she is nice, the other she acts like I did something. Maybe I did, but how am I supposed to know when she is not talking with me? I walked out and went to class. Toby and Macy were already there. At least I have someone with who I can talk. It's not like they will understand me completely, but it's better than nothing. After fifteen minutes, Ally decided to come. She sat far away from me. In this classroom, all of us are in a circle. I don't know why the teacher chose this position, but I don't mind it. Soon she came. 

- Hello everyone. It's nice to see all of you again. Today we'll start with our exercises. I want to get familiar with you and get to know you better, so I picked one easy task for this lesson. I want you to think of something and draw how you feel about this. Express your feelings about that thing. 

- Does it matter what it is? I mean, can it be a person or an animal? - Toby asked

- Everything. The first thing that comes to your mind is what you will draw. Five minutes before the end of the class, I will come and check what you have done. You can begin. 

- Does it have to be exactly the first thing? - I asked

- Yes. I don't want you to choose between many things. No matter if it's bad or good, you have to draw how you feel about this. 

- Ok, thank you. 

You have to be kidding me. Now I have to draw Ally and not only her. I have to express my feelings. How does she make me feel? Mad and upset. Ok, she can never make me mad, but I wish that we could understand each other better. I know what I will draw, but I don't know how the teacher will react to this. Ten minutes before the end of the class, I was done. I looked at Ally who was still finishing her drawing. I wonder what she was thinking about. My drawing was of a sad boy, laying on his bed and thinking about a girl. This is how I spend most of my summer vacation. Well, I went out with my friends, but in the beginning, that was what I did. 

Soon the teacher started walking around and checking everybody's drawings. I'm not proud of my art, but this is how I feel. She came to me and looked at my drawing. Don't tell me that she didn't like it. I put in a lot of effort. It's not every day that I express my feelings through art. 

- Don't you like it?

- Oh, no. I think that it's great. It just reminded me of something.

- Really? Of what?

- I will tell you later. Also, I want you to stay after class for five minutes. 

- Ok, no problem.

We waited until everyone was gone. I noticed that Ally was there as well. I thought that miss Cheryl would only talk with me. She made a sign for both of us to come to her desk. 

- Can I know why we are here? - Ally asked

- I wanted to know how your relations are. 

- Why? - I asked

- Because of this. 

Miss Cheryl took our drawings and put them next to each other. I can't believe it. They are identical. The only difference is that Ally has put a sad girl on the bed thinking of a boy. I don't know how this happened. So Ally was thinking of me. After all, she might not be mad at me, no matter that in the morning she was acting differently. I guess that both of us are not over each other. 

- Look, I... - Ally started saying

- Don't worry. I am not accusing you of copying. Both of you were sitting far away from each other. I just wanted to know if you two have good relations. It's visible that there is something... how to say it... a little bit off. 

- It won't happen again. 

- Why? There is nothing wrong with that. Your task was to express your feelings and this is what you did. I suggest both of you sit and talk. This is the best way you two will solve your problems. 

- We will. Thank you, miss Cheryl.

- No problem. Now, you can go. 

Both with Ally walked out of the classroom. I was walking next to her, but she refused to look at me. I don't know what is going on with her today, but she is different. Since the morning, she looks mad at me, and I don't even know why. Maybe I did something, but as I see, she won't tell me. 

- Look, Ally...

- I don't want to talk about this. - she said and walked away

Why do you have to be so stubborn? I walked back into our dorm and saw her searching for clothes. I guess that she will take a shower. I need to talk with her. I don't care why she drew this, but I want to know why she is mad at me. To be honest, I thought that we could keep good relations, but she is making it impossible. I don't know what to do with her. Then an idea came to me. Ally was about to go into the bathroom, but I went in front of the door and didn't let her.

- Can you move? I want to take a shower. 

- You will take it when you talk with me. 

- No chance. Now, go away.

- I won't do it. 

- Just move!

- Not until you talk with me. 

- Why do you have to be like that?

- I want to know why you are mad at me. 

- I am not mad at you. 

- As I will believe it. The whole day you are ignoring me and pretending that I don't exist. I wanted us to keep good relations, but you are making it impossible. 

- So now it's my fault. 

- I didn't say that. Just tell me if I have done something.

- No, you didn't. Now, will you let me take my shower?

- Yes, you can go. 

I swear that in the beginning, everything was easier. Now our relations are complicated. When she came out, we made eye contact, but I pulled away. I don't want to deal with her anymore. It's visible that we can't understand each other. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Maybe I have to forget her. Soon I felt a hand over mine. I looked up and saw that it was Ally. She gave me a small smile.

- I'm sorry. I just feel weird the whole day. I know that you have nothing to do with this. 

- Do you hate me?

- What? No, I don't hate you. I just feel strange. We haven't talked for months, and now we are in one room. 

- I understand you, but we can't keep arguing. I don't like it. 

- I know, and I'll try to be a better roommate. 

- I would love to see it. - I said and she chuckled

- Do you want us to watch something?

- Like what?

- I don't know. Don't worry, it won't be After. - she laughed

- To be honest, I don't mind it. 

Ally grabbed her laptop and put it on a chair in front of my bed. She chose a movie and sat next to me. I want to cuddle with her, but I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. I wish that we could do all the things which we did before. Ally rested her head on my shoulder and I used this as a chance to hug her. I was about to move my hand, but she didn't let me. In the middle of the movie, she fell asleep. I kissed the top of her head and held her tightly. Now it's my chance. Who knows when she will let me do this again? 

I must have fallen asleep because I heard someone calling me. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Ally. She looked at me with a smile and I returned it. 

- Good morning. 

- To you too. - I said and she laughed

- Can you let me go? I need to use the bathroom.

- Why didn't you do it?

- Because I didn't want to wake you.

- Ok, you can go now. 

Ally went to the bathroom and later came back next to me. I thought that she would stay away from me, but no. I won't lie that I like that. I appreciate every moment which we spend together. This is from the moment we started dating. I hope that one day we can get back together. 

- Hey, do you want us to go outside?

- Yeah, why not? The weather is nice today. 

- We can call Toby and Macy.

- You read my mind. - she laughed

Both of us walked outside and went to take Toby and Macy from their room. All of us went into the backyard or whatever people call this. We were talking, mostly about how our day was. Ally and I had to tell our friends what happened after class. All they did was laugh. I hope that we can keep the good relations. It's easy for me to talk with Toby and Macy, no matter that I met them like two weeks ago. With Ally, things are a little bit more complicated, but I feel like soon we'll go in the right direction. What I will do now is to enjoy the time with her and our friends.