My ex is my soulmate

Chapter seven - Being mean

Ally's POV:

It has been a month since Austin and I were living in the same dorm. I won't lie that sometimes this is a struggle for me, but most of the time, I deal with it. We don't talk much, but somehow we managed to keep the good relations. I just don't know what to tell him. Someone will say just tell him and stop with the drama, but it's not that easy. Looking from the outside it is, but not when this is happening to you. We haven't talked about what is going on with each other, because this is something sensitive. I have to admit that Austin got the attention of a couple of girls, but he never did anything. I'm not going to lie that I feel bad about him. I don't know what these girls will want from him, but it's worth a try. Well, I won't try on a boy, because I just can't. No matter if Austin gets a girlfriend, I will still care about him. My feelings won't go away just like that. I swear that if he had broken up because we wanted it and this relationship was not working, it wasn't going to be so complicated. I wonder how other people are dealing with this. Well, I'm not desperate to go back with him, but I won't lie that I would love to do it. I hope that when I decide to be brave and tell him what I feel, it won't be too late. 

Today we have only two classes, and both of them are in the morning, which means that I am free all afternoon. Probably you think that I don't study, but it's not true. The thing is that we'll have more projects to do than tests. One of them is from our practical course. I won't lie that I am a little bit excited about this. I love drawing and to do a whole project about this is awesome. My only hope is that it's not a group project. There is a chance that I have to work with Austin, and I don't think that I can do it. Up to now, we have had a huge luck to do everything together. I would say that what has happened to us is a coincidence, but I don't think that it is. 

I woke up and saw Austin laying in his bed. I guess that this time he woke up earlier. Well, I don't mind waking him up. I gave him a small smile and went to get ready. I got scared when I walked out of the bathroom because Austin was staying in front of the door. This boy will kill me. If he plans to scare me so I can run back to him, it won't work. I carefully passed by him and went to change my clothes. When both of us were ready, we walked to class. Sometimes this is awkward, but today it was fine. 

- Can I sit with you? Toby and Macy will be together as always and I don't want to sit with someone else. 

- Um... yeah, sure. 

- Thank you. 

- Austin, are you ok? You look upset. 

- No, I'm just tired. I couldn't sleep much last night.

- Oh, I'm sorry. 

- It's fine. I'll get a drink, which will wake me up. 

I'm sure that he lied to me, but I wonder why. Did I do something? Last night he fell asleep before me. I wasn't that tired, so I played some games on my phone. Maybe he has a problem, but I don't think that he will tell me. Well, I can ask, but since I know him, I know that he won't answer or will deny it. After this class, we have a short break. It's enough only to go to the toilet and for the next class. You can't go eat or do anything else. Both with Macy went to our next class. The boys said that they would come later. Maybe Toby will understand what is going on with Austin. After all, they are friends. 

- Ally, what is going on with Austin? - Macy asked me

- Honestly, I don't know. He told me that he didn't sleep much last night, but I don't believe him. Austin fell asleep before me. 

- Maybe he has a problem. 

- Whatever it is, he won't tell me. 

Macy was about to say something, but the boys came. For this class, we decide to sit girls and boys together. Soon the teacher came and he said that today we would inspect Mona Liza. What we'll do is to see what supplies the author used to draw her. After all, this is one of the most famous paintings of all time. For its time, maybe it wasn't, but nowadays, everybody knows it. 

After an hour, this class finished and we walked out. I noticed how a couple of girls looked at Austin, but he didn't care at all. There is something wrong here, but I don't know what. I walked to my dorm to get changed. Toby and Macy said that they would go into the backyard with Austin. I hope that they can make him feel better. If he doesn't want to share with me, he can share with them. They might tell me, but I won't do anything. 

When I was done, I walked out of my dorm. I was about to go to my friends when I saw a girl coming. I didn't move and waited to see what she would do. I don't know her name, but I know that she is from the ones who are looking after Austin. She gave him a piece of paper. A classic trick from school. Write your number on paper and give it to the person who you like or want to call you. What surprised me was Austin's reaction. He took the paper, tore it into small pieces, and gave it back to the girl. That was mean. Even if you are not interested in someone, there are more polite ways to cut them off. I can't believe that he did that. The girl walked away, visibly disappointed. Austin did the same. We made short eye contact before he walked who knows where. I went to my friends and gave them a confused look.

- Can someone tell me what just happened?

- I don't know, but that was rude. I'm not saying this because I am a girl. - Macy said

- I can try to talk with him, but I don't expect to receive an explanation.

- It's visible that there is a problem. - Toby said

- Yes, but this doesn't mean that he can treat girls like that. 

- Not all girls. - he said, which made Macy and I look at him

- What do you mean? - I asked

- If it was you, he was going to act differently. 

- I agree with him. With you, things are different. 

- You know what? I will go and find him. 

- Yeah, go after your man. - Macy said

- Shut up! - I said and walked away

I walked to our dorm, but Austin wasn't there. Usually, he goes there when he wants to be alone, but I guess that it won't be today. I walked around the building, but I didn't find him anywhere. I called him, but he didn't pick up. What is going on with him? I went back to the backyard. Our friends were still there. I was about to go to them when I saw Austin. He was sitting alone under a tree. He was looking mad. I want to help him so badly, but I don't know what to do. I walked up to him, but he refused to look at me. This won't be easy. I sat next to him without saying anything.

- Hey, are you ok? You can tell me if there is a problem.

No answer. In that case, I won't talk. Both of us were sitting without even looking at each other. This is horrible, but if I do something, he might walk away and I don't want it. I rested my head on his shoulder. To be honest, I expected him to move, but no. Instead, Austin wrapped his hand around me and pulled me for a hug. Sometimes, I really can't understand him. One day he is happy, on the next one, he is mad. I know that it's not because of me, but it hurts me watching him like that. I felt tears in my eyes but blinked a couple of times to make them go away.

- You don't need to be sad. I'll be fine. - he said, which made me look at him

- I know, but I wish that you would share more. At least with me. 

- Trust me. I have many things to tell you, but now it's not the right time. 

- Well, I can wait. When you feel ready, you can tell me. 

- I'm sorry that I'm always upsetting you. 

- You are not upsetting me. What you are doing is making it hard for me to understand you. 

- I know, and I'm apologizing for that. 

- Why were you so mean to this girl?

- Because I am not looking for a girlfriend.

- Couldn't you reject her politely?

- She won't understand. 

- Why are you so sure?

- Because I know it. These types of girls never listen. 

- You can't treat people like that. Especially girls.

- Hey, I don't treat you like that. Neither Macy. 

- Because she is your friend. 

- Look, I don't want to talk about this. 

- But...

- Get over it Ally!

- Ok, don't get mad. 

- Then don't make me. 

We stayed under the tree for a while. I noticed how a couple of girls looked at me. I wanted to get up, but Austin didn't let me. Instead, he held me tighter. Sometimes, he confuses me, but I won't lie that I feel comfortable. We might not be together, but this doesn't mean that I won't enjoy the time which we spend together. I was feeling bad for the girl who liked Austin, but I couldn't make him like her. I looked at him and he smiled. It's visible that he has zoned out. I wonder what he is thinking about. Probably it's not me. 

- Hello. Where are you? - I asked, chuckling

- What?

- Nothing. You zoned out.

- I'm sorry. I was thinking about something.

- Yeah, I noticed. It makes you happy. 

- And it still does. - he said and looked into my eyes

I haven't blushed since last year. I was doing this at the beginning when we started dating. Later, I calmed down. Now, I feel the same way as before. Maybe there is a chance for us, but I wonder when it will happen. Austin is right for one thing. Now it's not the moment for confessing feelings, or whatever it is. 

- Do you want us to go for a walk? - Austin asked me

- Sure, I would love to. 

- Should we invite Toby and Macy?

- I think that we have to leave them alone. As I see, they have a great time together. - I said and looked at them

- Best friends. 

- One day, they might get together. 

- Maybe they will. 

Both of us walked out. As we were walking, some boys looked at me. I noticed how jealous Austin was, but I didn't say anything. I only chuckled, which made him look at me. I can't believe that he still acts the same way. Before, I was going to get mad, but now, it's fun. People are right that you appreciate something when you lose it. I grabbed one of his hands and wrapped it around my neck. Nobody knows that we are not dating. Austin looked at me confused, but I only pointed to the boys. At least he is clever. He quickly understood what I was doing and followed the lead. We won't kiss or anything similar, but it's fun to watch their reactions. 

- You are evil. 

- Said the mean guy. 

- Ok, can you stop with this?

- I will if you stop calling me evil. 

- Deal. 

After the walk, we went back to our dorm. I don't know why Austin was in a bad mood in the morning, but I'm glad that now he is ok. Also, we managed to keep our good relations. The rest of the day, Austin and I spent it inside. We watched a couple of movies on his bed. I won't lie that I want to cuddle with him, but I don't want it to be awkward. There are so many things that I want to do with him, but I'm not sure that he will want that. Maybe I have to wait. I still don't know what he feels about me. I don't want to ask him directly. Well, I can make Macy or Toby find out, but I don't want to mess them with that. This is my problem, and I have to deal with it alone.