Hearts and Guns

The Breakup

Chapter 1

I stared into nothingness, holding a cup of coffee in my hand. This is a much needed vacation for me. After all the s**t I endured just to finish college, I’m here, finally. It finally felt like things are falling into the right places.

My train of thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. I almost dropped the cup but he caught it, just in time. I unconsciously smiled.

"Elyse." he called my name and for some reason, it made my heart leap.

"Chase. Hi, didn’t expect to see you here. This place is kinda secluded." I said, grinning.

He took the cup from my hand and put it down on the table.

"I don’t mean to brag but my mom owns this place." He said casually. "She owns a lot of businesses. By the way, how are you?" He said, starting straight into my eyes.

I’m aware that his family’s filthy rich but not this rich. This is one of the largest chain of hotels in the country.

"Still breathing, as you see." I chuckled and it made him smile. "We haven’t been in touch in like 4 years. You haven’t changed, still looking good." He always looked good but now, he’s smoking hot. I can’t take my eyes off him.

He chuckled. "I can say the same. You look amazing." He didn’t know that I stopped breathing after hearing that. I stared into his mesmerizing gray eyes. It’s pulling me in.

This is bad. I pulled my eyes away as soon as I can but it was too late. It already rekindled the fire inside me. The same fire I thought I put out years ago.

We didn’t need to say anything, we followed our instincts and just let our hearts speak.

He slowly went for my hand and intertwined our fingers. I missed this. His warm smile and his cold hands.

"Can you come to my suite? I missed cooking for you." He said, squeezing my hand. It was enough to convince me. No second thoughts, I just nodded. Like I was in a trance.

I followed him to the elevator, still holding his hand. I still can’t believe this is happening. I never thought we’d see each other again.

Summer of 2021

I stood still, waiting for Chase at our usual meeting place. He’s running late. I’ve been waiting here for almost 20 minutes. My palms are sweating and I keep on wiping them on my denim shorts. I’m nervous and scared of what his reaction will be. He’s special to me and I don’t want him to keep his hopes and end up destroying him. He doesn’t deserve that. I sat down, still feeling anxious. My legs are literally shaking.

I scrolled through my phone to distract myself but it wasn’t helping.

I immediately stood up when I saw his motorcycle fast approaching. He pulled over, took off his helmet and started making his way to me. He’s freaking gorgeous, like a movie star.

"Ely." he hugged me and kisses the side of my head. I wish I could stay here forever, in the warmth of his arms.

"I’m really late. I’m sorry, I fell asleep. We had drinks last night with the boys. I can’t say no." He squeezed me even harder and kissed the top my head. It felt so good that I almost wavered. I almost forgot why I’m here.

His grip loosened and he let go of me and held my hand to walk towards the lake. I feel so guilty. This place won’t be as beautiful as it is after today—after I will break his heart. This place is too beautiful for me to ruin it with a painful memory.

"Chase." I uttered his name, breathy. I mustered up my courage and looked straight into his eyes. "Let’s break up.” My voice cracked as I said those words. I felt a pang of excruciating pain in my chest and I cannot breathe.

“Elyse, baby, what are you talking about? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me so I can fix it.” Hearing those words made me want to tell him that it was just a silly prank—but it’s not.

"Chase, I love you, but my life is too messy right now. I don’t want to drag you into this hell that I’m living. Nothing’s wrong with you. It’s me, I’m never gonna be good enough for you. Please let me go." I sobbed after I uttered those words. It felt like I’m stabbing my own chest with a knife.

"Baby, please don’t do this to me. I’ll do anything for you. I’ll give you everything. I’ll protect you.” He hugged me tightly, not leaving space between us.

I almost regretted my decision. I inhaled the cold air and smelled his perfume, the familiar manly scent etched into my brain. I’m gonna miss him and his warm hugs.

"This is the end for us, we’re never going to work out anyway. Your world is very different from mine. No matter how we want to be part of each other’s lives, the universe will never permit it.” His shoulders started shaking. This is the first time I saw him cry, and it’s because of me.

"I love you so much, I don’t think I can live without you, Ely.” he said in a low voice, almost like a whisper. The tears I’ve been holding back streamed down my cheeks, I don’t deserve this man.

I let go of his hug and held his face with both my hands. "Yes, you can, Chase. Your life will be so much better without me.” I looked straight into his eyes and all I was pain and confusion. He looked so lost, tear-stricken cheeks and soft brown hair looked astray. My hear is breaking seeing him like that.

"I can’t..Ely, please don’t leave me.” he begged. The love of my life is begging me to stay. But I can’t—I just can’t.

"Chase, forget everything about us. If we ever meet again in the future, please walk past me, like a stranger and I will do the same." I let go of his face, turned around and took a step back, walking away from him.

I took three steps away and I felt him hugging my back, his hands on my hips, not wanting to ket me go.

"Please let me hug you one last time, baby. I will let you go if you really want me to, but please know that I will still be here whenever you change your mind. I will still wait for you, Elyse." he whispered on my ear as he buried his head on my neck. I froze on the spot. We stayed in that position for god knows how long, tattooing that scene in both of our memories.

But all fairytales must end and it’s not always happy. I felt his grip loosen and I took the chance to let go. “Please don’t wait for me. I’m never coming back, Chase. You can move on with your life, like I was never in it." I uttered with conviction, my back still facing him.

Without waiting for his reply, I walked a away from him, each step is heavy and the knife in my chest is burying deeper and deeper, as I step away from his world and the man I loved with all my heart.