Hearts and Guns

I stood on his bedside, stared at his face and all I feel is guilt. I didn’t even realize that that I was slowly letting go of the rope I was holding on so tight for the last 5 years—the hope that he’ll wake up and come back to me. I sat on the chair and held his hand firmly, tears rolled down my cheeks as I kissed his hand. "I’m sorry, Love. I broke my promises. I became weak. I succumbed to the temptations. I’m sorry." I cried as I confessed everything to him. I don’t know if he heard me but I don’t wanna lie to him. I loved him, and that’s the truth. He was the greatest love of my life and it makes me sad that I’m closing this chapter of my life and leaving him behind, along with our dreams, hopes and vows. "I’m the only one you have and now you’re losing me. I hope I meet you again in my next life and I promise I won’t ever let go of your hand." I said my last words to him and I let go of his hand to wipe my tears. I stood up and something happened. Was that a hallucination? I saw his hand move in my peripheral vision. I heaved a deep sigh. No, that’s impossible. It happened several times before and all it gave me were false hopes. I prayed that it wasn’t real. I blinked multiple times to wake myself up. I came straight from the office and I feel exhausted right now. That must be it. I grabbed my bag from the bedside table and planted a small kiss on his forehead to say goodbye. I straightened up and stared at the love of my life for one last time. Then I turned my back on him. My whole body felt numb. It felt like someone poured a bucket of ice on my head. I felt something in my hand. No, this can’t be right. I slowly looked back and his eyes were wide open. He’s awake. My husband, who’s been in comatose for five f*****g years has finally opened his eyes—but instead of happiness, I felt anger. He smiled at me and I just felt tears gushing out of my eyes. "Love…y-you’re awake." I muttered. It’s vague. It felt like the sky fell on my back. I could hardly breathe and my hands are shaking. What a perfect timing. Just when I was ready to let him go, he woke up and ruined all of my plans.