Dark Silence

23 days (2)

A windless autumn evening quietly descended on the forest. A young moon has risen above the dark menacing trees. Its ghostly light was hardly dissipating darkness, distorting its usual outlines, and heating the imagination. Darnell went out onto the porch to smoke. The plume of the cigarette rose slowly upward, not disturbed by the wind. The man thoughtfully looked at its whirlwinds, uninterruptedly flowing from the red tip of the cigarette, and dissolving somewhere in the darkness. The light from the windows of Fanny's house snatched out the pathway and a part of the flower bed, sprinkled with bright autumn flowers. Jack walked along the yellow square of the light and disappeared into the darkness of the garden, making his every night round. Darnell grinned at the waddling animal. Even at such a venerable age, the dog stubbornly continued to carry out his service. 

Darnell was smoking and thinking over what Fanny had said about Madeleine. It wasn’t in the demon’s style to pull out human memories. They could destroy them, they could cast a spell - but not remove them. Of course, there were cases when they were taken as a payment, but Madeleine paid with her voice. One particular case came to Darnell's mind. Once, the Agency caught a loser who learned a forbidden book on the summoning of especially dangerous demons of the seventh level and higher, who could not pass through the Portal by themselves being too powerful, by heart, and was going to share his knowledge with everyone who wished to learn it too. At that time, the Agency had to call for the inscribers for help, and they provided an artifact, created by them, and which they called "a vessel for memories." They pulled everything that the jerk learned out from his head, and the Agency took the book. Could it be that someone got one of these vessels and used it on Madeleine? In this case, it wouldn’t hurt to visit the Inscription Society.

The burned-out stub went to the jar that was kindly provided for Darnell by Fanny. He leaned against the carved wooden railing and took a deep breath of the night air, smelling of autumn leaves, but suddenly started to cough.

“Too clean air for an urban dweller?” Fanny laughed behind him. Darnell didn’t hear her coming up to him, being deeply absorbed by his thoughts.

“Yeah, I suppose so,” he chuckled, listening to the forest's nightlife. An owl hooted somewhere nearby and immediately fell silent as if being scared that it had broken the night quietness. “Why did you overfeed poor Jack like that? He can barely walk, his belly drags along the floor.”

“Oh, he deserved it,” Fanny replied, walking to the railing next to Darnell. “In his past life, his soul suffered so much that in this one it must rest and live for its own pleasure. Enjoying every minute of a calm happy life.”

“How interesting,” the man snorted in response. “Then, apparently, my soul in a past life caused a big load of trouble?”

"I… don't know," Fanny shrugged her shoulders. She turned away from Darnell in an awkward manner, as if hiding her eyes, not willing to continue this conversation. He looked at her in surprise.

“What do you mean? You can see the dog's soul, but not mine? How come?”

“I'm not sure… that it is there,” the old woman answered guiltily. “I never felt it in you. It's like you are... an empty shell.”

"Is that so..." Darnell's shoulders dropped with fatigue, and he regretted asking about it at all. He was just an empty dummy, nothing more.

“Well, I can’t say for sure,” the old lady started to jabber, seeing the effect her words caused. “Maybe I can’t feel it because the walls around it are too firm and thick. The world is such a unique and surprising place, especially with the demonic one by our side, and you are unique as well. Maybe there is something inside you unseen even for my sight…” 

"Do demons have souls?" Darnell asked with his last hope and completely missing the monologue Fanny told him.

“Of course they do,” Fanny replied. “Their souls differ from human ones, but everyone has it.”

"I see," Darnell exhaled. He wondered how he managed to live without a soul for so many years.

“If you differ from the others, that doesn’t mean you’re worse than them,” Fanny said, placing a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort and console him. “You are the one and only to decide whom to be and what to do or how to act. You are overthinking. Thinking too much over the things that don't matter. You try to erect a wall around yourself and close off from everyone, even from those who would be happy to help you and be by your side. And you don’t want to notice that you are, in fact, not alone.”

"Yeah..." Darnell replied indifferently. He didn't really listen to Fanny after she told about his soullessness, so he was not even sure if he answered appropriately to her words.

“It's late. You'd better go get some rest,” Fanny suggested, preparing to return to the house.

“Okay, I'll just smoke and go,” said the man. He took out the pack and gripped a cigarette between his teeth.

"Oh that bad habit of yours!” the old woman waved her hands indignantly. “You haven’t spent a day at my place, but managed to stink out the whole house!”

"Yes... I’m sorry..." Darnell muttered, flicking at his lighter.

He stared into the darkness that looked back at him from the forest. There probably were some spirits who lived in there, but right now Darnell didn’t pay attention to what was going around him. He felt like an empty shell Fanny had described him. It seemed to him that not even a single thought passed by his mind, and right now the only thing that filled him was the bitter smoke of the cigarette. Even his inner demon quietened, disturbed by the witch's words. 

“Are you coming?” Fanny’s voice made him come to senses and stop zoning out. Darnell gave a little shiver from the cold and put out his cigarette. “Will you sleep in the attic as always?” she asked.

“No, of course not. It’s cold there, and bats are squeaking all night long, and I plan to drive tomorrow, so would like to get at least some sleep,” Darnell grumbled.

“Oh, look at you, you confessed in this for the first time in so many years!” Fanny jokingly waved her hands. “I’ve been telling you this each time you came here, and you never agreed to live in my place like a normal child!”

“Probably, I’m getting too old for such insolence. This time the couch will do,” Darnell snorted. He entered the house and followed Fanny to take a pillow and a blanket she took out from the wardrobe, and to put them on the couch. “Speaking of children, where’s Madeleine? Wasn’t she causing troubles?”

“Not at all,” Fanny smiled. “Come, you’ll see by yourself.”

Darnell shrugged his shoulders but followed Fanny to the second floor where she had her and the guest bedrooms. She carefully opened the door showing Darnell that the girl was peacefully sleeping in bed. Jack suddenly pushed by his legs and went inside. The dog squashed under the bed and sighed loudly like an old man.

“He never slept by my side,” Darnell whispered.

“Probably because you slept in the attic, and Jack can’t climb ladders?” huffed the old lady. She looked at the girl and added: “She’s such an angel.”

“She’s a little devil!” Darnell exclaimed, and Fanny hissed at him, making shut up.

“Hush, you’re gonna wake her!” 

She quietly closed the door, leaving a small space in case Jeck decided to go out and went down the stairs.

“So, where did you find this girl?” she asked sitting at the table where three cups of tea and a small hot kettle were standing. Darnell sat opposite her.

“The Agency. Found her in the orphanage, and shoved her to me. Such a pain in the neck.” Darnell sighed and sipped hot tea. Although he preferred coffee, he never refused from Fanny’s tea that was made from herbs she gathered by herself.

“Madeleine is a really good girl. You just need to listen to her more,” she made a comment.

“No one ever listened to me,” Darnell snapped.

“I understand,” Fanny sadly nodded to him. “You can’t give what you don’t have inside yourself. There’s no compassion in you, but does that mean that she can’t receive it only because you didn’t get it?”

Darnell froze for a moment. However, it didn’t take him too long to think, and he answered bitterly:

“She had much more than I did. She had her family, she knew how her parents looked, heard their voices, spent time with them, had her years together…”

“...but she lost as much as you did. And maybe even more,” Fanny interrupted him, making shut up. How did he dare to nag on Madeleine? She was rough only because she was lonely and didn’t trust anyone. But she could quickly open. Like with the big old dog that scared her at first, and then they almost immediately became best friends. Madeleine was friendly and nice. It was him who didn’t want to see this and do at least something to let her show this to him.

“I sounded selfish, right?” Darnell smiled a sad smile, feeling ashamed for his words addressing a little girl.

“It is fine to have feelings, even if they differ from those that are socially acceptable,” Fanny smiled and took his palm lying on the table trying to comfort. “There are people who can give what they don’t have by themselves, and those who can’t do this. You don’t have compassion inside you, as you didn’t receive enough of it when you really needed it. So you can’t give it out. I, for example, can give compassion to those who need it. You are angry at the world, but this girl is not one of those who caused pain to you. You can become for her the one whom you never had the moment you needed. Don’t you think that would be nice?”

“I… suppose?..” Darnell mumbled. “I just don’t know how to.”

“Do and say what you would prefer to receive at the hard moments. That’s it,” Fanny smiled and patted him on his arm. “At least now you are not as lonely as you always are!”

“I used to have a girlfriend,” Darnell bubbled into his tea as if excusing his bachelor life.

“I’m pretty sure that she wasn’t the one destined for you.”

“As if you are sure in anything concerning my destiny,” the man growled.

“Oh, look who decided to snap at the old lady!” Fanny pointedly flung her hands up and shook her head. “Finish your tea and go to bed, young man, you do need to think over your behavior!”

“I surely will,” Darnell smirked, stirring his herbal tea.