Damaged

New Rules

Daniel's POV:

         “She what!” My brother exclaimed. 

        “Yeah I couldn’t believe my eyes, but she almost downed the bottle. Before I knew I had slapped the bottle from her hand. Scared the s**t out of me,” I crossed my arms. 

        “What happened?” Jeremy asked in disbelief. I didn’t realize he heard what I said. 

        “She tried to commit suicide?” He asked me with wide eyes. I sighed and nodded my head.

        “She tried, but I stopped her. It scared me to think that maybe it was my fault. She probably believed she was the cause of my pain. That probably pushed her over the edge,” I said leaning against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest. I sighed and dropped my head.     

         “Don’t blame yourself. She’s just more observant than we thought she would be. Because of her emotional state she is able to feel others pain as well as her own,” David stated sadly.

        “I know, but there is no excuse for the situation. I couldn’t believe even she thought about committing suicide,” I said running my hands through my hair and scratching the back of my head.

        “I don’t think I ever told you guys about my visit with her did I?” Jeremy asked. We both stared at him in shock. We slowly shook our heads.  

        “Jessica looked like she had totally given up on life. She had this sad look about her. She walked like every step was her last. I just had to keep a smile on my face and to keep my kindness in check because I would have pity just written all over my face. I managed to sway her and she just cried and cried. It hurt a lot just to look at her,” he finished.

        I sighed a deep sigh. I pulled myself from the wall just thinking about what we should do about the situation. 

      “What should we do about this? I don’t want her to become suicidal again, but I don’t know how to deal with a situation like this,” I cracked. I really did just want to run away and just be away from her. Her emotions are too strong that it seems to be affecting me.   

        “I think all we can do for now is just watch over her.  At the hospital if a person has tried to commit suicide and failed they get charted for suicide watch. Which means someone is going to have to be with her at all times,” Jeremy suggested. I didn’t want to put her through that, but it seems to be our only option. 

       “I guess we have no other choice,” David said. “She’s in too much pain and if we leave her alone again she might try again. But what about her bathroom stuff like her shaving razors and other medications?” He asked.

       “I think for now let’s just take all that stuff away until we can be sure she’s not going to do it again. If she needs the medication for headaches or other things we will give to her and make sure to give her just enough. We don’t need to take her to the emergency room again,” we nodded in agreement. I feel bad in doing this, but she needs to value her life more. She needs to know that we all care about her and that there are people here who care so much about her. 

Jessica's POV:

        Both men plus Jeremy came back into the room. Jeremy went into my bathroom with David. I had laid down after talking with Johnny and he left the room concern coloring his eyes. 

           Daniel moved to the side of my bed. He was about to say something, but I lowered my eyes, nodded and looked back into his eyes. I already knew what was going to happen. Every action has a consequence and I already know that because of what I tried to do that I would have to deal with the consequences of my actions. 

           I already knew what the consequences would be. Daniel seemed shocked that I knew what it would be.  

          I grabbed my phone and started typing. I had to really chose my words carefully. When I was done I handed my phone to Daniel. He seemed to read it twice before he just gave me this look of surprise. 

         Both David and Jeremy emerged from my bathroom with a bag full of medicine. Daniel turned toward them with the look of surprise. David came over and took the phone from him and read it. Jeremy left with the bag of medicine. 

      This is what I wrote: 

       “I know my actions have caused you pain. I understand that you all have put in place actions to prevent me from doing any self harm. I do regret my actions, and I’m just going to have to deal with the consequences of what I’ve done. I accept everything and I understand the implications in place. I’m very sorry about what I tried to do, and worrying you all because of my pain.” I averted my eyes as they both stared at me in surprise. But every word I wrote down I meant wholeheartedly. I could see the doubt in their eyes, but that’s to be expected. I know I will have to earn their trust back with my actions.

          David gave me back my phone and left the room. I turned onto my right side and closed my eyes hoping for sleep. Daniel moved back to the desk going through paperwork. It was like sleep didn’t want to come, but I was really tired from what happened. 

        I tossed and turned trying to fall back to sleep, but I just couldn’t. I sighed and got up turning my bedside light on. I went to my purse and pulled out the current book I was reading and just read for a while. I ended up falling asleep reading.

Daniel's POV:

         I finally got all the paperwork done and texted David to come back and pick it up. I noticed Jessica sleeping with a book open facing down on her chest. 

        She seems to be fighting a battle within her. Between her darkness and the light. I just couldn't believe such a young girl has so much pain that it’s affecting her negatively. It’s causing her so much grief and everyone of us has to watch on the sidelines.

        I wish I could do something for her. I wish I could take away some of her pain that she is burdened with. 

        I sighed getting up and moved to the side of her bed. I gently and slowly picked up the book without waking her. I put her bookmark in the spot and closed it putting it down on her nightstanding. I pulled the blanket up to her chin. She turned to her right side. I held my breath thinking that she was waking up. I stroked her hair gently just wishing the impossible.  

         I turned off her lamp and moved back to the desk. I sat quietly for a bit waiting for David. 

         A light knock on the door and David quietly came in looking at Jessica’s peaceful sleeping face. Then came into the room.

        “What do you want for dinner?” He whispered.  

        “Whatever your having,” I whispered, unable to decide.

        “The question is what should we get for her. She might be hungry when she wakes up,” I whispered. 

        “Yeah being that this morning she was hungry, but we have no food. She was in utter and total shock about it. I guess we’ll either have to wait till you wake her up. Or we’ll have to make the decision for her. But we’ll be getting Chinese tonight,” he said.

        “From  what your saying I don’t think she will want to have take out, but then we’ll decide for her.” I looked down frowning from this entire situation.

         “What’s wrong?” David asked me.

         “I just wish we could do something for her. She’s in so much pain that it’s causing her so much distress. It’s probably what drove her to try to commit suicide,” I said.  

         “Most likely,” my brother said deep in thought. “After dinner we’re going to leave Johnny with her tonight. He offered to stay with her tonight. Charlie offered for the night after that. Jeremy will do it the night after that, then it’ll be you again. I’m taking the kids to the council meeting and will be gone for a week. I just got the letter yesterday that one of us and the kids need to be at the meeting.” He looked peeved by this. These kids are just not cooperating with us ever since they found out that Jessica was coming to live with us. We’ll also have to report the fact that she is living with us. 

           It’s going to be tough. Having a normal human girl living with us, but not only that. We also have to make sure she doesn’t find out about us and what we do for a living. We do get paid for each job we take, but because we are also taking care of orphans we get paid for that too. Some of the money is put in an account. We save it and then when they go their own way they will have money to get them started on a new life.  

          We do this so these kids don’t leave here with nothing. They also come on missions with us so they also get paid for that. If they so choose they can put the money in the account or they can hang onto that money for things.

           The only reason we’re going to have a problem is because of the council. The council knows about the promise we made and that she would only be here till after she graduates. They are still hesitant about her being here. They don’t like it and I can’t blame them, but we made that promise and we are going to keep it.

           “Just do the best you can,” was all I could say. David gave me my book and I started to read it.

          I kept waking her up a couple more times. The first time though I did ask her what she wanted for Chinese and she did give me an answer and made sure to get it to David.