Damaged

Please Let Me Go

Jessica's POV:

         I didn’t dream at all. It felt really odd not dreaming while sleeping. I did get this weird feeling though. Like somebody had their hands on me. Not like the touchy feely perverted, but like somebody was protectively touching me. 

          It was oddly comforting. At dinner I ate in bed. I got a container of beef lo mein.

         “Are you finished?” Daniel asked me. I nodded my head still feeling sleepy. He grabbed my container and utensil. “Johnny’s going to watch you tonight.” I just nodded my head understanding.

        Then we heard a knock on the door then Johnny poking his head in.

        “Ready for bed Daniel?” He asked nervously. 

        “Yeah,” Daniel said yawning and stretching. “Reading that book tired me out. I managed to finish it. Thanks for loaning it to me.” Daniel patted the book on the desk. “Well I’ll leave you to watch her.” He stood at the door. A gentle look crossed his face. “Goodnight Jessica,” he said gently and left Johnny and I alone.

          I didn’t notice, but Johnny had a thick book tucked under his arm. I looked at it curiously trying to see the title. He caught me looking. He just grinned.

          “You like to read?” He asked me curiosity coloring his tone.  I nodded my head really fast. I kept pointing at the book. “What is it that you want to know about this book?” He asked me puzzled.

          I grabbed my phone and started typing away really fast. He came and sat down at the edge of the bed. I handed him my phone. He read it and just averted his eyes embarrassed that he didn’t realize it.    

       “Oh sorry. I’m reading ‘The Ceremony’. It was found in the house. The author though is unknown, but I’ve read a little bit and so far I’m liking it. But it seems a little gruesome, so you are not of age to read it. Not until your eighteen.” I thought about and pouted because I was going to ask, but he beat me to the punch.    

        “Sorry, but I don’t need to get in trouble with those brothers if you start having nightmares about the book.” He actually thought of that, but if it is that gruesome then I guess I’ll wait to read it. I nodded my head in acknowledgement. 

        I yawned and stretched my arms and legs. He seemed to catch the hint and moved to the light switch turning off the overhead light. He moved to the desk. The desk lamp was still on. He sat down and opened the book and leaned on his left hand and was using his right to flip the pages.

        I turned onto my left side and put my right arm underneath my pillow. I fell right asleep.

Johnny's POV:

         I read even further into the book. It was very graphic from the words. I was picturing what the book was saying. I could hear Jessica’s low breathing. At least we can let her sleep the whole night through. Just as a precaution someone needs to stay with her just because if she stops breathing or tries to kill herself again.

       It really hurt knowing that she actually attempted. Even though she failed doesn’t mean anything because if Daniel hadn’t come in at the right time, nobody would have known and she would’ve died in her sleep.

        I just hope she can find happiness. Losing everyone around you and then you are in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. In her sleep she seems at peace, but when she wakes up her pain will take over again. She’ll have a sad look about her.

Jessica's POV:

        I was standing at a cliff side. The white dress I was wearing swayed in the wind. The crashing of waves filled the air with a salty scent, gray clouds covered the sky. I was not close to the edge, but I looked towards the edge to see my mom standing at the edge. She looked at me with a look of helplessness.

       “Let me go,” she whispered into the wind. 

       “I can’t do that,” I shook my head violently.

       “Yes you can. Jessica, he doesn’t hold your heart. He can’t control you. Everything will be okay with them.” She whispered calmly.

       “But I don’t see a future without you. I love you mom. Nobody can ever replace you!” I yelled.

       “You have more of a future than you might think. People you can create memories and happy times. More importantly a family awaits you.” I looked at her not really understanding what she is telling me.

       “Look behind you,” she whispered. I turned away from the cliff to see several dark figures standing ways away. The man ahead felt very familiar. I couldn’t even understand it myself. 

       I walk toward them, but before I realized it, I stopped and turned around. Mom was gone. My heart aches, but I turned and walked toward the figures, but no matter how close I got it seemed that they were getting further away.

        “Why can’t I reach you,” I said.

       “Your not ready for us yet. In time you will learn of your true nature and who you truly are. I felt warm though listening to that voice.    

         “When will that be?” I asked desperately.

         “Only time will tell,” the voice whispered. The figures disappeared. The clouds dissipated leaving the gleaming sun over the endless ocean. The sea green water vibrantly dances and sparkles in the sun. It was so beautiful.

         I felt peace showed me leaving me breathless at the feeling. I considered wanting to just stay here, but I must move on. I have to let go, though what happened has scarred me leaving me with pain, but I guess I can’t let it overtake me. It will be painful for awhile, but what she said still confused me.