Well, wishes to your new love

Opening my eyes, I see the cracked ceiling, familiar and depressing. It had only been a few days since I found out how big a fool I must be to everyone. I want to cry, I want to remain in my bed crying till nothing pours out, and all the hurt has become a dull ache. The memories from the previous night play over and over. The sounds blaring into my head like a police siren. How could he betray me, hearing my phone vibrating on my bedside table. I pull myself out of bed and lean over to see the cute nickname I'd set as his name. scoffing in disgust at my past self. I yank the phone off the cord and slide my thumb, I don't hesitate to reject the call. I need more time to center myself, dropping the phone on my bed. I decide to make myself something to eat, maybe after I'll know where to go from now. reaching the kitchen, I pull out a pot and start filling it with water. I state at the water, filling up, and soon, old memories return. I was young when we met, he wasn't my first love but he was someone that came after a huge hurt. Noah healed me and showed me something outside of work and school. I had forgotten how to enjoy life, and he said I helped him when he was going through more or less the same thing. pouring the oats into the water, I stir mindlessly, remembering the happier times. moments swimming in the ocean, cheap tickets to plays in the park, quiet nights at home. I'd never felt this warmth before, I'd grown up in a cold home. my parents didn't care about me, too lost in their own problems. The first person I loved was the same, I only served as a side comfort. He knew he could always ask for more from me, that I'd never be able to stop giving. I kept giving till he thought I had no more to give. I believed him, just felt like a lifeless corpse, walking among the crowd. silent, ignored, like the trash that had fallen into the gutter. We found each other, and naive I believed in fate.