UN-BROKEN

PICKING UP THE PIECES

“Why is he calling me?” I ask myself and pick up the call.

“Hi Olivia” Tayo says sounding so cheerful as ever.

“What do you want Tayo, I don’t have all day” I say sounding extremely irritated.

“Sorry to bother you but I’m outside your place I want to get my stuff. I’m with a bunch of your stuffs too.”

“Sure you can come get them” I say and hang up the call.

The nerve of him. How dare he sound like he is having the best time of his life? I grit my teeth in anger. The doorbell sound bringing back to reality. I check myself in the mirror making sure I look flawless. I grab the hoodie from where I kept it and head to the door.

I open it and for the first time I look at Tayo I begin to see his flaws, I’m two inches taller than him, his eye balls are slightly crooked, it looks like something we Nigerians call 4:30 eyes and his front teeth are kind of huge too.

“Damn love can make you date rubbish ooo” I whisper underneath my breath.

“Here are your stuff”. He says handing me a box containing my stuff and bringing me back to reality.

“Thanks, here is your hoodie” I hand it over to him. He was about to turn and leave but then stops.

“You don’t want to know why I ended things with you.”

“I’m listening, humour me” I cross my hands, waiting for what he is about to spew out.

“Well, for starters, you love your work too much. Ever since you got your job that is all you talk about. You don’t fail to rub it on my face that you are being paid 950 thousand naira per month just because I am a technician that fixes solar panels and other electrical installations. You are very overzealous, always wanting to pay for our bills when we go out. You are a selfish person Olivia and I’m sure no other man will tolerate your bitchiness” He is breathing heavily by the time he finish speaking.

“Wow Tayo, I never knew you were a man child. Thank you for pointing out my fault but let me correct you, you are the selfish one here. I was jobless for a year plus before I finally got this job you are saying s**t about. I kept paying for dinner bills because I was just trying to be an understanding girlfriend, I never looked down on you. I was always proud of you, but who am I kidding? It’s time for you to leave,” I say, anger seeping through. It is taking everything in me not to land a slap on his stupid face.

“Where is my toothbrush? You didn’t give me all my things?”

“Well, Tayo, whatever you didn’t see there is out in the trash where it belongs”, I hiss and walk into the house, banging the door on his face.

“That guy must be a bastard. I should have seen the sign all along. How dare him! Me? A selfish b***h?” I let out a laugh. I don’t blame him.

⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕

After the encounter with Tayo, hours blurred together in a haze of silence and unanswered calls. I headed into the kitchen to bake and prepare the meals I’d eat through the week. Cooking helps me anytime I feel stressed out or overwhelmed. I prepared meat pies, cupcakes, muffins and banana bread for leisure snack or breakfast while I cooked jollofrice and fried meat, stew and Oha soup for main dishes. I still could not shake off what Tayo said to me. Am I really a bad person? What if I’m controlling? Maybe I wasn’t paying attention to his feelings and emotions.

I lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling, resting from my cooking activities. It was already past 8. I just wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep off, it has been a really long day. My phone vibrated beside me, but I ignored it. I already knew it was either Zoe or Becca. My mind kept on lingering on what Tayo told me in the afternoon. They had been calling, texting, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer. What was there to say? That I felt hollow? That I still wanted the world to pause as mine did? I just went to the showers and crawled to bed, switching off my phone. I still wasn’t totally fine from the breakup.

By Sunday evening, Zoe and Becca had had enough of me. It was 2 in the afternoon, and I was still curled up in bed, sleeping. I heard a loud banging on my door, forcing me to wake up abruptly. I rushed to the parlor to know who the person was.

“If you don’t open this door in five seconds, I swear we will break it down!” Becca’s voice rang out, firm and impatient.

I sighed, dragging myself to the door. The second I unlocked it, my two friends pushed their way inside, their eyes scanning the apartment.

Zoe clicked her tongue. “Babe, what is the problem? Why was your phone switched off?”

“I’m fine, I was sleeping and I didn’t want to be disturbed”, I muttered, with sleepy eyes.

“No, you’re not,” Becca countered. “Do you know what the time says?”

“I don’t know, probably ten in the morning”

My two friends looked at each other and shook their heads. Before I could protest, Zoe grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bathroom. “Shower. Now. We are taking you out.”

“I don’t want to, it’s too early”, I grumbled.

“Madam Olivia, this is afternoon, 2:30 to be precise. Take your ass to that shower now or I will beat you up.” Becca said in a very stern voice.

“Okay, mommy”, I say with an eye roll, surrendering and heading to the bathroom.

“No arguments,” Zoe interrupted. “You’ll feel better.”

I didn’t have the energy to fight, so I obeyed. The warm water washed over me. I stared at my reflection afterward, noticing the dark circles under my eyes and the dullness in my skin. When had I started looking like this?

Dressed in a simple but presentable outfit, I let them drag me to a restaurant, not Bistro Bliss, of course. That place was now off-limits.

As we sat down, Becca and Zoe chatted about random things, careful not to mention Tayo. They made me laugh, even if only for a moment. But then I caught sight of a couple in the corner, their fingers intertwined, whispering and giggling like they were in their own world. Just like Tayo and I used to be. My stomach twisted, and before I knew it, I was excusing myself and rushing to the restroom. I locked myself in a stall, gripping the sink to steady my trembling hands. I wasn’t ready for this. Pretending to be okay when I wasn’t.

When I came back, Zoe and Becca didn’t say anything, they just squeezed my hands in silent understanding.

“Tayo came to my place yesterday….” I say.

“What?” Zoe and Becca said in unison.

“Is he mad? What does he want from you? What did he say” Becca asks looking very pissed.

“Well, he came to return a couple of my things I left at his place”, I said, sipping my margarita.

“The nerve of him. How dare he show his stupid face at your place?”

“That’s not all, he said I was the cause of the breakup. He said I was always selfish and that I always boasted about the money that I earned at Zephyr Holdings.” My two friends looked at me in astonishment.

“He is just trying to play the victim. How dare he say such? Please don’t let what he said get to you,” Zoe replied.

“No wonder your mood changed. I suspected it. That guy should not try me. It’s like he wants me to run him over or send boys to end his stupid life,” Becca says.

“Ah, it has not gotten to that Becca,” Zoe says laughing.

“What he said struck a nerve, though. Maybe I’m not a good person.”

“Forget that guy. He is just trying to justify his actions for the breakup. Let’s talk about something else and order food. All this talk about Tayo is making me hungry.” Zoe says, changing the topic.

⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕⁕

The next day, I tried to distract myself with work. I had a lot piled on my desk. It was a really busy Monday morning. I took my laptop to a quiet café during lunch break, hoping the change of environment would help. But my mind kept drifting, my fingers frozen over the keyboard.

“You look like someone who’s either writing a bestseller or plotting murder.”

I blinked up at the voice, startled. A man stood beside my table, his eyes warm with amusement. He looked familiar, though I couldn’t quite place him.

“I… what?” I ask, caught off guard.

He grinned. “You’ve been staring at your screen for the past fifteen minutes without typing a single word.”

I glanced at my laptop, embarrassed. “Oh. Yeah.”

He tilted his head. “Mind if I sit?”

I hesitated for a second, then nodded. Why not? It was just small talk. A distraction.

“I’m Desmond, by the way,” he said, setting down his laptop bag by the side of the table.

“Olivia.”

“Nice to meet you, Olivia.”

As we talked, I realized I had seen him before he was a friend of a friend, someone I had met at a gathering months ago. Our conversation was light, easy. I was still on guard. I wasn’t ready to dive into anything with a man yet.

“My lunch break is over. I need to head back to work. It was nice meeting you Desmond” I gave him a smile and offered him my hand.

“The pleasure is all mine. See you around then.” We exchange pleasantries and I rush back to work.

That night, I did something I had not planned on doing. I opened my journal and started writing. At first, the words came slow, hesitant. But soon, they spilled out, raw and unfiltered.

I wrote about the good times with Tayo, about the love we had shared. I also wrote about the things I had ignored, the times he had made me feel small, the moments I had questioned his love but pushed the doubts aside, our breakup and the reasons he gave for leaving me.

By the time I was done, I felt lighter, as if putting it all on paper had lifted something off my chest. I stared at the necklace on my nightstand again. This time, I picked it up and placed it in a small box, tucking it away in a drawer. Maybe I wasn’t okay yet. But I was starting to believe that, someday, I would be.