Traitors of Fate

I have always wondered what I would be and how I would live if I was born in a different family. "Would that be all?" I asked the girl in front of me with a polite smile. She nodded, her eyes not looking at me even once as her perfectly manicured hands rummaged inside a designer bag. "Ah! Found it," she took out a card and handed it to me, "Here you go." After swiping it and confirming the payment, I finalized the transaction by handing over her clothes that were worth an entire month of grocery for me. Then my eyes followed her out of the boutique, where I saw an older man (who I'm assuming is her driver) carry her bags and take them inside a luxurious car. If I became someone else's daughter, would I grow up carefree and radiant like her? I've seen countless girls like her who were raised by a normal and happy family. Some were rebellious, but they were normal teenagers nonetheless. My single wish is to live like that. They did not have to worry about earning money to eat and pay the rent and bills. At their age, all their concerns cycle around friends, boyfriends, future career, and other things that I now find too tiring to care about. But then again, when am I ever not tired? I mean, how can I care when I'm too tired to do so? I do have friends to keep me company. However, I can not be as free to spend time with them regularly. When there are times that we are hanging out together, they always let me know how depressing I can be around. Too quiet. Too sad. Too unmotivated to try anything new. I did try to be none of those things one time. Tried to be interesting. I dressed according to trends, I went clubbing like my friends, and I even tried getting a boyfriend. But nothing changed. I did not feel like I found who I truly am, or who I want to be... I just felt even more lost. And so I began imagining myself in people's shoes, in hopes of finding what I want with my life. "Cerise." I didn't notice that I was daydreaming again until I was called by my manager. A sigh escaped my lips and she threw me a worried look. "Are you sure you're fine?" She asked for the third time since my shift started, then her hand went to feel my forehead. I unconsciously closed my eyes for a second from her cold hands, then opened them again to find her face even more worried. "Goodness, Cerise! You're burning!" She exclaimed before gently pulling me to sit down. I sat complacently while she frantically went back and forth from the staff room to the counter again. Finally, a minute later, she came back to me with medicine and a glass of water. "Have you eaten?" She asks once more, hesitating to hand over the medicine and water. I nodded, thinking to myself how nice it was to have someone to worry about you. "I had Chinese takeout for lunch." She still did not look happy, but finally gave me the medicine. "At least you still had something." "Thanks, Rosa." I flashed her a smile. After making sure that I had taken the medicine without a problem, all the energy my manager previously had deflated. Instead, she began scolding me for not knowing my body well enough, told me that I would end up being a bother to someone if I continued to neglect my health. I was not offended in the least. No matter how harsh her words had gotten over the past two years, I knew that they stemmed from her heart. My manager, Rosa, is the closest mother figure that I ever had. I told her that one time, and she laughed at me saying she's too young to be my mother. But she did not look offended or disturbed, so I was happy. Rosa patted me on the back, before giving me three more medicines that I assumed I had to take after every 4 hours.. "You should take the rest of the day off. We'll handle everything here." She said, just in time to attend to another customer. Everything became blurry after that. When I came back to my senses, I found myself inside the car of one of my colleagues. Turns out, I was not the only one who was surprised. "You're awake already?" He sounded concerned. "I thought you fell asleep fast, but who knew you would also wake up fast." I adjusted to my seat, not minding Jerome's words, and just replied, "Thanks for the ride." "You're welcome, C." He insisted on calling me on the first day we met at work. Jerome said it was an interesting nickname and I didn't understand in which aspect, but I let him. Then I began to wonder, maybe what makes a person interesting are the people that surround them. Maybe I've been looking at it from the wrong perspective this whole time. Or maybe I'm just delirious from my fever and I'm thinking nonsense. I closed my eyes for a second in an attempt to clear my head. Then I leaned against the window, watching the familiar streets of Stathford pass by. Familiarity that is supposed to give me comfort, reminds me of a cage. I may look like I'm unhurried and unmotivated, but I am itching to leave this life I have. This place I'm at. I have to find what I want soon, or else, I might truly find living meaningless. Why should it continue to exist if it's worth nothing? Then in the corner of my eye, I caught something. My back straightened and my eyes stared at one spot, not daring to blink. I sat unmoving for a few seconds as thoughts conflicted in my head. "Stop the car," I calmly said at first, but hurried next, "Stop the car, Jerome!" Jerome stopped the car abruptly, then turned his head to me in a perplexed manner. "What's wrong, C?" Without wasting a second, I opened the door and ran outside towards the small alley that I'd been eyeing. I heard Jerome call me a few times, but I was not paying attention. In my hurried steps, I began panting and my head started getting heavier. But I did not stop. I needed to confirm what I saw back in the car. When I finally reached the location, the narrow alley was almost empty, except for an unconscious black cat. It was not there, the thing that I saw. I wanted to keep looking around when I felt someone pulling my arm. Jerome had caught up with me and he was obviously worried about a sick person suddenly acting strange out of nowhere. "C are you okay? What's wrong?" He asks, but my eyes keep wandering around the empty alley, refusing to believe that what I had seen was just a trick of light or a figment of my imagination. Feeling frustrated by my strange behavior, Jerome places his hands on my shoulders, and says, "C, there's nothing here. Let's get you home, alright? You're very sick." Ah, did he think that I was acting differently because of my fever? However, I did not correct Jerome. He wouldn't believe me if I told him why I ran out of his car. I was also starting to doubt my eyes because he was right, I am sick. Maybe I was so sick that I started hallucinating. "Let's go, okay?" he repeated. After resigning to a conclusion, I gave Jerome a weak nod and he sighed in relief. Just before he started pulling me away, I picked up the cat from the alley and decided that I was gonna bring it to my apartment. Jerome thought it was strange that the cat was not injured and seemed to only be sleeping, yet it did not wake up when I carried it in my arms. It was strange, isn't it? The thing that I saw which resembled a black hole was gone, but a cat had appeared instead. And this cat did not seem like it was an ordinary cat, at least to me. How peculiar indeed. I would have ignored it if it wasn't for the words that rang in my head when I saw it. "I'll come back for you, even if it's from the abyss."