why me?

BANG! the sound echoed through the kitchen and made me Jump! I quickly spun around, and in a flash he was infront of me, I knew I should never have turned around, I could see his dark black eyes looking so devilish, and not in a good way I try to open my mouth and advert my eyes, but I couldn't I knew what was coming. I knew it wouldn't be nice either, the way he was standing, his heavy breathing, the glare that showed me he was not in control of his body, but it was his wolf, even though they both treat me the same, I just thought wolves would be caring and take care of their own packs, BUT not him, not Alpha Blake. "Why the F**K are you in here?" he yelled that shook the windows, I was trembling my breathing becoming fast and short. "I'm just finishing the preping Alpha for the guests, ill be done soon" I replied, trying not anger him more. SLAP! My face swung to the right, I could feel the burning already, im trying to hold back my tears so he doesn't do it again, see when I show emotion it makes it worse. "I told you, to be done 45mins ago guests are arriving and I don't need them to see such a useless, disgusting thing like you in my pack" he said. yeap your right this caused pain, but I was use to hiding my hurt, and the bruises, this was a daily thing, id get bullied from the whole pack, beaten and treated like a slave, even the Omegas treated me like crap, my so called friends aswell. "Sorry Alpha, there was an issue with the oven, so I had to fix it and...." before I could finish he threw me against the wall, and I slid down it, knowing he'd broken something, when I hit the wall I heard a crack and can feel a sharp shooting pain up my spine. During not to look at him again, I quivered and said sorry again. His eyes a roaming my body, he had an evil smirk on his face, but all of a sudden Jason walked in, he was the Beta of the pack. "Alpha, our guests have started to arrive" he said in a monotone voice, he looked at me a scoffed, and under his breath he muttered "useless piece of s**t", while looking at me. Alpha Blake bent down raised my chin, and whispered " Get the Hell out of my sight. I'll punish you later". I knew exactly what that meant, i knew what his punishments were, I dreaded it every night. They walk out of the kitchen, and I hear them greeting their guests, different Alphas and Lunas from other packs all around the world. You see every year different packs hold a Moon Ball which is held on the 1st night of the new year, this is so Pack Members who have turned 18 can find their Mates. Will I ever find my mate? will he love me? and treat me right? laughing to my self, if only fairytales were real, I slowly get up open the secret door to head up to my room, my room was hidden so nobody from outside the pack could find me, I didn't have much in my room, just a ratty stained mattress, a bag that contained my clothes, I mean rags, a sink that only gave me ice cold water, and a broken half of a mirror I found in the bin. Feeling the pain getting worse, I decided to try and sleep, lieing down on my bed, I look out the small cracked window I had looking at the stars and listening to the insects chirp, before I knew it I was asleep.