EIRIAN FROST

Back to childhood

It was uncomfortable. 

Waking up panting heavily like an ox, my hand out, my pyjamas wet in sweat and my hair stuck in my face, it was very uncomfortable. 

I get out of my bed, still half-asleep and turned the lights on. At that moment, I wasn't aware of what had happened. My eyes trying to adjust to the sudden brightness, my consciousness that was still asleep awoke. 

Standing in a white-black-grey room, it took me a while to realise it was my childhood room. A bunch of books lay on the small bed, taking up more than half of the space. On the bedside table, game cards were scattered messily on the small table. Nearby, a small cabinet full of books were arranged neatly in alphabetical order. 

I dragged my body stumblingly to the full-length mirror. 

A tall young boy with a small face, sky-blue eyes, thick long lashes, small nose and full rose-like lips. His shoulder-length white hair fell gently and his white as snow. 

Was that a dream?

But I knew better, however, to prove it, I pinched my cheek and bit my right hand. And that proved it because I felt the stinging pain. 

It's real!

After that, I didn't go back to sleep. Too afraid that If I close my eyes, it all be a dream and I'll be dragged back to that nightmare. 

Waking up at five in the morning, I prepared a small breakfast and hot beverage for the twins and I. Thereafter, I bathe and got ready for school. When I went to the girls' room and saw two adorable white bears curled up together, unwanted tears streamed down like a river. 

I'm usually not like this, but I'm just too overwhelmed. 

These adorable bear cubs would change for the worse in a couple of years. That must not happen! Not this time. It got so bad to the point where Mom got a heart attack and passed away. 

I have a feeling things will work out this time, I'll make sure nothing repeats itself.