Impossible Love

My name is Jay, and I’m a masculine-presenting woman. I have a child. Her name is Isa. I’m 28 years, 5”6. I work in a hospital where I met Mira. She was an intern at the hospital. When I was posted here as a Public Health Officer, I didn’t know my life was going to take a different route and change completely. Flashback Jay’s pov I’m having a conversation with Ratty, one of my best friends. Earlier that week, I received a call that I passed my interview and I had been posted in one of the hospitals in the lake region. I was happy because I had looked for work for a long while. This was my dream come true. I had gone with Ratty to look for an apartment where I would be living because I was posted outside my native town. We got a nice place and since Ratty was working she helped me settle the rent and helped get the necessary things for me to settle down easily when I moved over. We are back to my place in my native town. She was helping me pack my bags. “God answered your prayers dude,” Ratty says to me. We call each other dude or bruh because she identifies as a masculine woman too. “I thank God for this, I was hoping for this,” I said with a small smile. She looks at me unsettled. I looked at her, wondering what was wrong. “Yoh bruh, what is up with you?” I asked her. “It’s nothing bruh. I am just wondering about how far we will be from now on. We are used to being close.” “Honestly, I am happy, but again I feel sad,” I said to her. She looks at me with confusion written all over her face. “Girl, you know we have been close for so long, I have a feeling. This long distance between us, we won’t be seeing each other as often”, I continued. “Dude come on,” she jested, “You will be fine, we will be fine. Stop being a crybaby.” She joked. I just smiled back at her. Over the weekend, for us, the weekend started on Friday evening. Since it was the last one I was spending with Ratty before I reported on Monday to work, she suggested we go out. I didn’t feel like partying as I was happy to get the job and sad to leave, but Ratty encouraged me to go out and at least celebrate and kill the boredom. We had been drinking buddies for a long time, so tonight we were going to drink our asses out. We always had each other’s backs if anything. We walked into our favorite club at around seven that evening. The music was already booming. A lot of people start their weekend on Friday. Although the night had already started, the bar wasn’t full yet, so we got ourselves a table at the corner of the club, far from the speakers. Ratty went to pick up our drinks. We had already had shots at the counter before we picked our table. As the hours moved slowly, we were getting tipsy, and we started dancing around our table. We didn’t like dancing on the stage because of all the sweat there plus the alcohol, the place didn’t smell appealing. The major thing is that the males on the stage tend to take advantage of the crowd on the stage to touch or grab the ladies, who we dislike with passion. We always fought with men because they weren’t our cup of coffee. This always landed us in trouble with the male who always wanted to hit on us or try to touch us, taking advantage of the crowded bar. That is why we preferred to dance alone at our table to avoid all the drama. As the night was moving, some guys tried to hit on us as always, not only guys even a few ladies were trying to flirt with us. In a country where being queer is illegal, it was awesome to see there are so many people in the community than the government wanted to admit. The good thing was, that most people there knew our table was a no-go zone. It didn’t take long before the ones hitting on us were being told to get their asses somewhere else. We party and drink up until around 3 am, our clubbing time is over, and we have to get back home. We were wasted, but we are heavy drinkers, so it wasn’t that bad. We could still walk. We hopped in a taxi and headed back home. I struggled to open the door to our apartment and the moment the door was open, we staggered inside and didn’t even make it to bed. We passed out in the living room on the couch. It’s Saturday morning and the sunlight wakes me up since we blacked out without properly closing the curtains. I woke up with a throbbing headache and a hangover. I scramble to the kitchen to fix a coffee with some hot water with lemon to ease the hangover. Ratty must have heard me, and she woke up groaning her hands on her head. I held a cup to her, and we took our hangover remedy. It felt much better, and we went back to lying down. Sleep took us over again now that the headache had subsided. After a long sleep, I woke up at around 2:30 to the sound of movement in the kitchen. It was Ratty’s girlfriend making us something for lunch. She made some hot soup because we looked like zombies as we were eating. An idea crossed my mind. “Dude?” I called Ratty. “Wassup?” she asked me, looking up. “Will you accompany me to my new place for a few days?” I asked her. “Really dude?” she chimed. “Yeah, it would feel better man.” She looked at me as if thinking for an answer. I was hoping she would go with me and come back after I had settled down, maybe like three days. After all, her girlfriend wouldn’t be around. She looked at her girlfriend, who nodded to her. “Yes, of course. I will go with you. When are we leaving?” She asked. “We leave tomorrow.” “Okay then, I hope you are packed and ready?” “Yeah, I am all set Ratty,” I said as I stood leaving them at the table. “See you guys later,” I said, patting Ratty on her back. I walk to the sink to wash my dishes and then to my room to finish packing. I was ready to take the next step in my life.