Impossible Love

6. I Love Her

Jay’s pov

I got off work, worked up about Mira. She seemed unhappy talking about her boyfriend earlier. I can’t keep her out of my mind. She’s all over. I always think about her. Everything is about her lately. I went straight home for a shower.

After taking a good long bath, I remembered it had been a while since I talked to Ratty. I decided I should give her a call. While at it, I went down to the memory line. Thinking about Ratty took me back to a conversation we had some time back when she had introduced me to some girl I didn’t really like.

I remembered how I had refused to get into another relationship because the one I was in had ended a few months back. In the relationship I was in, I realized I wasn’t in love. It started off on the wrong foot, and we tried to work ourselves around it, but unfortunately, it didn’t work, and we decided it was for the best if we ended things. So I didn’t want to get into another relationship until I was sure of what I wanted, and I was in love with the person.

Flashback

I’m with Ratty at our favorite pub. We had a long day, we wanted to let off some steam. There is this girl at the counter. She’s lovely and different. She doesn’t throw herself at the guys like the other girls in this place do. She’s reserved in her actions. I find her attractive, so I throw her glances once in a while. She’s the one who always serves us our drinks when we are here. I bet she finds me attractive too.

I always found her stealing glances at me. Often, we accidentally lock eyes and exchange smiles. She has a beautiful smile. I like her in a way. Maybe one of these days I can lower my guard a bit and have my way with her.

“Buddy, there is a way you look at that girl.” Ratty’s voice gets me out of my thoughts. She was pointing to the girl at the counter.

“Who, me? Dude please!” I said, knowing she caught me staring at her. I just rolled my eyes.

“She is beautiful, I wouldn’t blame you,” she smirked at me and continued, “maybe it is time you asked her out. I have seen how you two have been on it for a long time. Stop checking her out and go get her already.” I just laughed at her. She is crazy if she thinks I will get my ass into another mess. I’m not dumb.

“Damn man, just stop it. I don’t even know what you are talking about.” I dismissed her claims on a serious note. I wasn’t in the mood. She raises her brows at me.

“Why are you in defense mode all of a sudden? Wait! Do you like her?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

“I don’t like her that way, but she is amazing and beautiful for sure.” I decided to end this crazy thought she has.

“Maybe you should try your luck dude, she likes you.” The more reason I should keep away from her, she will want something with me and I cannot give her that. Ratty was excited about all this, and I wasn’t even a bit.

“Can we just enjoy the night without you trying to hook me up please?”

“You know almost all the women who have been hitting on us, it's not me they want, it’s you.” She said and I had had enough.

“Woman, you are high already. We had just started drinking. Will you be able to live through the night?” I was getting annoyed with this bickering.

“We both know I’m right. You are a single hot lesbian. You will be laid soon or later. Cheers to that," she emptied her glass in one go. I just stared at her. Unbelievable! I don’t want to be laid aggrr

End of flashback

Taking my phone and I scrolled to her name and hit the call button. In 2 rings she picks up.

“Hi bruh, did you get laid already?” comes the voice from the other side.

“Hi, I’m fine thank you for asking,” I replied sarcastically. I can’t believe this, all she thinks about is for me to get laid. I rolled my eyes at that. Dumbass.

“Oh sorry man, I just thought you got news (laughing). How are you?”

“I’m doing great. How have you been with your girl?”

“We are fine bruh, you are missed. What’s up?” she already knows I want to talk to her about something, nice. Wise ass you are, at least for once you ain’t dumb.

“I miss you guys too. Dude, I am in big trouble.”

“Wait, what! What happened?” she asked, concern laced in her voice.

“I think I am falling in love man,” I said softly. All these were weighing me down more than I wanted to admit.

“Wait, man, that is huge!” She was surprised. I have never really been in love. I have never told her I loved anyone. I understood why she was shocked.

“You are in love?” she asked me when she realized I was quiet.

“I think I am, and it scares the hell out of me,” I confessed to her.

“When did you start falling in love, it’s been forever.” She sounded shocked and confused like I was.

“I don’t know, I’m afraid and confused too,” I paused for a few seconds “But I love her,” I said softly. I, for once, had accepted how I felt about Mira. All this happened so fast it scared me honestly.

“Dude chill, I think you should talk to her.” She waited for me to say something which I never did. When I didn’t respond to her advice, she continued.

“She is straight, isn’t she!?” she questioned softly. I like her when she’s this smart. She already knew that is the only thing that can make me so worked up about a woman. She knew straight women were out of the question for me. And now here I was in love with one.

“Yes she’s straight as they come, dude, she even got a boyfriend.” Now I was whining.

“s**t Jay, that is messed up. Does she at least have an idea about same-s*x relationships?” Her question makes me wonder, what if she doesn’t have an idea.

“You know I was starting to like you all-wise, how am I supposed to answer that dumbass? I was venting my anger at her, I know.

“Chill man, I was trying to understand the situation so that we could come to the best way to get around it.” She sounded concerned. I had never snapped at her before.

“I am sorry Ratty, I’m frustrated with this situation. I have never been in love, but now I am, and it had to be a straight woman. Not everybody is as open-minded as me and you.” I said that feeling defeated.

“I understand you perfectly, jay. First find out if she has a problem with the queer community before we start figuring out a way to tell her about you,” There is the wise-ass I like. “And dude make sure she forgets about that boyfriend of hers.” She was laughing, I ended up joining in on the laughter, this is why I loved her.

“Hell yeah I will, you can bet on your girlfriend on it joker.” I teased.

“So it’s a deal, you are going after her, right?”

“Of course man, it’s a deal.” I made the decision that had been bugging me. It is a deal.

“Good luck man,” it was a sincere wish.

“Thanks, man.” I felt much better.

We continued chatting and catching up until we were sour from laughing too much. We ended the call with a goodnight. I was smiling alone thinking about my friend and the girl who was driving me nuts.

As I ended the call, I had already made up my mind, I would go after Mira and I would have her even if the odds were against me. But first I need to know how she feels about queer persons, I really need to know if she was homophobic.