Better the Devil you know

Tony Three years earlier I think I have found a reason to live! I met a girl, not just a girl, a woman. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was like an angel. I have known her the whole time I have been at uni but today she shines like the sun. My therapist has encouraged me to make friends so I finally approached her for a coffee. The crazy part is she instantly puts me at ease and we fall into an easy casual friendship. All at once I dont just want to be friends, I want her  to soothe the rough edges left by my childhood. Everything I have done to this point just felt like a band-aide had been whacked on and the wound was weeping through into my life.  I took her on a fantastic date, dinner was perfect. We continue to watch a movie and before I know it we end up in my room at my mother's house, naked and exploring each other with desperate need. The second I entered her, I was lost. Nothing should feel as good as she does. We move together lost in the heat of the moment. Her orgasm tore every bit of emotion and energy from me as I followed with an orgasm of my own. I no sooner caught my breath when the feelings of guilt and shame started to seep into my consciousness and I felt the dark shadows creep into my memory. I run to the bathroom and throw up violently trying to hold back the breakdown I can feel edging closer and closer. Rita tries to soothe me but I can't handle her seeing me like this so I yell at her to leave. She dresses quickly, tears threatening to spill down her face. I feel like crap sending her away like this but it has to happen. Once she has left I pack my bags, get in the car and never look back.