Love Beyond Anxiety

Chapter I-I

Arend sat in the kitchen and he watched the snow falling outside and then turned when movement caught his attention and he smiled at Skye. “Hi princess.”

“Hi dad.” Skye said. “I thought you were going in to work early.”

“Not today.” Arend said. “The land is covered in at least three feet of snow.”

“In that case, I am going back to bed.” Skye said and she took the water from the fridge that she came down for and then went back up the stairs and she climbed into bed behind Ty.

“We need to get ready for school.” Ty said turning to her.

“Deep snow. Not happening.” Skye said and she looked at him when he sat up. “Are you going to keep on making milkshake of me?”

Ty smiled while leaning down, and he kissed her full on her mouth before lying his hand on her small belly. “I love you.”

“I love you more, even when you're shaking my guts up, making me feel really sick.” Skye said and she turned on her side away from him.

“You two are hilarious.” Micah said.

Skye groaned and she sat up before looking at her sister. “Why?”

“You had a court thing when dad suggested it, but still you prefer to pretend like you are still boyfriend and girlfriend.” Micah said. “And you come up with the weirdest things to say.”

“She only pretends to be my girlfriend when she is upset with me or when she gets fed up because I am not paying attention or moving the bed too much.” Ty said. “And in actual fact, I pay attention even when I am not looking at her or responding right away.”

“Well everyone else is going back to bed but I feel like building blanket forts and playing PlayStation.” Micah said.

“I am in.” Skye said wide awake and she scurried off the bed and before long the entire room was void of any form of bedding.

Ty smiled at Micah and then stood up and he took their phones before he followed his wife down to the playroom and began helping her to build the fort. He frowned when she began crying and he got her out of the fort and held her close.

“I bumped my head and the blanket does not want to go right.” Skye cried into his shoulder.

“It is okay.” Ty said and he rubbed her back, and before long he was helping Micah to finish up while Skye was lying curled up on two of the bean bags; and they ended up spending the entire morning getting the fort just right while Skye would tear up at the slightest issue. He looked at his wife when it became really cold in the play room and then took the aircon remote from her. “Are you trying to freeze us to death?”

Skye shook her head and she got into the fort and within a few minutes she was crying again.

“She is undoubtedly pregnant.” Micah said.

Ty smiled and he climbed into the fort and got Skye sorted before he started up the PlayStation and played games with Skye and Micah. He smiled when Skye climbed on his lap and made herself comfortable between his legs. He moved a little when she battled to get her sit and smiled when she looked up at him with a smile. He kissed her head and then carried on racing against Micah and he frowned when the game got paused.

“Dad!” Micah exclaimed.

“I can always leave.” Arend said coming in with a plate of cookies and a couple of packets of chips.

Skye looked at her dad and then buried her face in Ty’s shoulder while peaking at her dad.

“What is that look supposed to mean?” Arend asked.

“She has been trying to convince me to see if I could walk down to the little shop the lady down the street opened, to see if she has caramel crunch ice cream and fresh floppy chips.” Ty said. “And I said no because it is still snowing and I am not going out while it is snowing.”

“Mom can make some chips too.” Arend said.

Skye shook her head and she looked at her husband when he held a cookie in front of her nose.

“I will eat it then.” Ty said and he took a bite of the cookie.

“There comes the pout.” Micah said when she saw her sister’s face changing.

“There are some hot ones coming out in a few minutes.” Arend said.

Skye scrunched her nose up at her husband and then climbed out of the fort before she went to the kitchen and crossed her arms over her chest.

“What did they do now?” Cartia asked.

“Ty gave me a cookie and then ate it himself when I looked up at him.” Skye said.

“Tyler Junior.” Cartia said.

“Just leave him.” Arend said coming in. “I would have eaten it as well. She did give him an uninterested look.”

“She is pregnant.” Cartia said and she took two cookie trays from the oven.

“It finally stopped snowing.” Eden said coming in with a large pot. “The puppies are safe and warm, and satisfied.”

“Great.” Arend said.

“I am not.” Skye said.

“What are you looking for?” Eden asked.

“Ty does not want to walk.” Skye said softly.

“Because it was snowing.” Arend said. “Go tell him it stopped snowing and ask him nicely. Do not whine in his ears, because you have been doing a lot of that and I know you are pregnant, but you really do not have to whine and nag and cry like a child of three who has no manners.”

 Skye nodded and she rubbed her eyes and then left the kitchen. She went to the play room and went down only to find Ty was missing. “Where is Ty?”

“I have no idea.” Micah said. “He mentioned getting cold or something.”

Skye nodded and she turned the aircon off before she went back to the kitchen. “He is not in the fort.”

“Boo.” Ty said catching her waist.

Skye turned and she smiled up at him and frowned when he pulled her hat over her head.

“I am not braving the cold alone.” Ty said. “And besides, I am not buying something just to get send out again because I got too little or the wrong thing.”

“We do not exactly have a big budget.” Skye said.

“That is where you are wrong.” Ty said.

“You are not getting your monthly income from your parents’ life insurance investment until this mess is sorted out.” Skye said.

“Frans sent me a message about five minutes ago at the same time I got a payment notification.” Ty said handing her his phone. “Lawyers have approved our marriage certificate, the letter your father had to write them and the letter from Pastor Engelbrecht stating that we are legally married and that they approve of our marriage even though it was done in a rush because we messed up.”

Skye looked at the message on his phone and then smiled up at him. “Have you done tithes, your board and lodging for mom and the savings?”

“Yes.” Ty said and he showed her the proof of payments. “And I paid the cat rescue center so your kitten should be arriving as soon as they can come out this far, and I paid the pet insurance we took out and I have paid for your maternity order and I have sent the confirmation letter to the pharmacy to get your medicine delivered.”

“You have been busy.” Skye said and she kissed him softly before she took her parka and pulled it on before turning to her mom. “Do you guys want anything?”

“If you can find some more M&Ms, sure.” Cartia said.

“Okay.” Skye said and she kissed her mom’s cheek before she took her boots from Ty and pulled them on.

“Be careful.” Arend said.

“I am always careful, dad.” Skye said and she took Ty’s hand before she left the kitchen with him. She giggled when Ty took her scarf from the peg at the door and wrapped it around her neck and her mouth and she pulled it down and then took her gloves and pulled it on. “You are so funny.”

Ty smiled and he pulled his gloves on and then left the house with her and kissed her cheek while they walked down the road to the elderly lady who was running a shop with her grandson.

Skye knocked on the door once they got to the shop and she smiled when the young man opened the door. “Hi JJ.”

“Hi Skye. Hi Ty.” JJ said. “Nana is busy making some chips in the house and there is soup too.”

“So you have picked up my wife’s cravings as well?” Ty asked.

“Nana said she thinks you guys will appear here as soon as it stops snowing because Skye has stopped here every afternoon after school for chips and sometimes ice cream.” JJ said and he unlocked the door and then let them in. “We are only opening in about thirty minutes for normal customers.”

“Right.” Ty said and he kissed Skye’s cheek. “Go get what you want so JJ can get back to work.”

Skye nodded and before long she was back with a basket full of stuff.

“Do we really need twenty tubs of caramel crunch ice cream?” Ty asked.

Skye nodded and she took a couple of his rainbow ice cream from the fridge next to the counter before she began unpacking. “We might get snowed in.”

“Sounds like a valid reason to me seeing her condition.” JJ said and he opened the small ice room and took a very small tub of ice cream from the room and handed it to her. “Salted caramel crunch. New flavor we just got in last night.”

“You are going to be the downfall of my finances.” Ty said.

“I will not let her ruin your budget, at least not yet.” JJ said.

Skye giggled and she opened the tub and gave Ty a taste before she had some and then handed him the tub.

“Disapproved, funnily enough.” Ty said.

“Very well.” JJ said and he rang the stuff up and then fetched a large box and a small box of chips and the salt from the main house before he rang it up.

Ty paid and he smiled when his wife snuck a chip from the box after putting salt on. “You are the hero for the next five minutes, if that much.”

Skye giggled and she took her box when he took the bags and small box. “Thanks JJ.”

“You are welcome.” JJ said. “Have fun.”

Skye nodded and she left the shop with Ty and then walked back home with him while eating her chips. She giggled when he began taking her winter clothes off once they got into the house and she squealed when he gave her a solid smack on her bum.

Ty smiled and he went to the kitchen and unpacked all the groceries before he handed the packets of M&Ms to Cartia.

“How much were they?” Cartia asked.

“I have no idea.” Ty said. “I was just watching my wife unpack a basket full of stuff that she gathered in like five seconds flat.”

“Right.” Cartia said and she smiled when Skye came in and gave her the receipt before taking a tub of ice cream and turning to leave.

Ty caught her around her waist and guided her back. “What do you say?”

“Thanks bubby.” Skye said and she kissed him softly. She gave him an annoyed look when he pulled his hoodie over her head to expose her crop gym top.

“Give baby some fresh air and hopefully then we will have to freeze less.” Ty said.

“You hope so?” Cartia asked and she smiled when he shrugged.

“I guess.” Ty said and he rested his hands on Skye’s small belly and made spiders over it.

Skye smiled up at him and then opened her ice cream and got her hands on a spoon.

“Someone can come and do whatever they want right now, and they will be safe as long as they leave her ice cream alone.” Arend said coming in.

“Totally.” Ty said and he smiled when his wife shrugged before sticking a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. “I am going to start calling you puppy.”

“Why?” Skye asked.

“Because belly rubs and snacks are what makes you happy.” Ty said and he placed a kiss on her ear.

“That is a pretty accurate description.” Arend said.

Skye shrugged and she scooped some more ice cream out and gave him a death stare when he whispered something in her ear before the ice cream got rubbed in his face and neck. “You asked for that.”

“Never supply a woman with ammo.” Eden said having just come in.

“That is freezing.” Ty said.

“It is ice cream.” Skye said and she rinsed her hand and then closed her tub before placing everything in the freezer. She looked at her dad with a frown when they heard a helicopter coming in low and she went out the door and then squealed when both her older sisters got dropped off with their luggage. She hugged them once they got to the back porch and then waved at the helicopter pilot before she went in with her sisters.

“Now who owns a helicopter that you girls know?” Arend asked.

“The hospital.” Kendri said and she took her gloves and jacket off before hugging her family one at a time. “Where is Ty?”

“In the shower.” Arend said.

“Why?” Kendri asked.

“He was saying something to Skye in her ear and she obviously did not agree with it while she was eating ice cream.” Arend said.

“He was saying stuff in my ear that I do not want him to say.” Skye said.

“Like?” Kendri asked.

Skye shook her head and she laid her hand on her belly.

“I think I see what the problem is.” Cartia said and she handed Kendri the oven mittens and then placed her hand on Skye’s lower back. “Let’s get out of this really hot kitchen.”

Skye nodded and she went with her mom to the main bedroom and frowned when her mom closed the door.

“Do not frown at me like that.” Cartia said and she got a gift box from the wardrobe and then sat down on the bed with her daughter before she began brushing her hair out. “Open up the box.”

Skye looked at her mom and then opened the box and she looked at the lacy black and white pieces that came out along with some extra moisturizing cream for pregnant women and a harsh chemical free hair dye. “Mom, you are aware that all this will have my husband swooning over me and wishing he could just let our vacation happen all over again?”

“Yes.” Cartia said. “You guys have been legally married for a month. How much of that have you spent in your husband’s bed?”

“In total, I would say probably around two weeks.” Skye said. “It was easier to keep on sleeping in my own bed when he was studying and I was waking up in the middle of the night sick as hell.”

“Fair enough.” Cartia said. “But in the last two weeks you have spent the night in your own room if you got upset with him.”

Skye nodded and she tucked her hair in behind her ear.

“How many nights, or mornings, have you spent in your husband’s arms?” Cartia asked.

“He does not allow me to not let him cuddle up.” Skye said.

“Which is good.” Cartia said. “But you are both always wearing your pajamas.”

“Yeah.” Skye said.

“I am talking about in his arms, or should I say in his eyes?” Cartia said and she smiled when her daughter’s eyes and smile softened. “When last did you give him that in the morning or in the evening? Your vacation?”

Skye nodded and she pushed her hair back. “I do not feel comfortable enough to strip in front of him.”

“Yet your eyes silently strip at least his shirt on more than one occasion.” Cartia said. “And he knows exactly when you are wearing your gym shirt and then removes whatever you are wearing over it because he knows you are not getting cold yet, and he craves to see your body but he settles for just seeing your belly bump and feeling your belly even when his hands go all over in his mind, because he is afraid of your retaliation because that is all he has been getting.”

“He is the one who said we will wait until I am ready.” Skye said.

“And when will that be, Skye?” Cartia asked. “Three months from now when you are not feeling huge anymore or at least do not have to work around a baby that is sitting in your midsection?”

Skye shrugged and she wiped her cheek. “I do not know, mom.”

Cartia turned her daughter to look at her and then put the hairbrush down before she wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held her close for a few minutes. “If you are going to wait until you feel the way you felt when you made this baby, you can go and sign up for a divorce now because your husband is craving intimacy on a level I do not think you understand right now and that is what leads men to cheat on their spouses. He loves you and he is still young enough and in love enough that he feels he can wait for you to be ready and he does not know what to expect with you being pregnant because it is your first pregnancy. You need to go and do some research on staying intimate with your husband while you are pregnant, you need to go and do some research on how you feel postpartum, you need to go and do some research on how your love life is going to change the further you get into your pregnancy and how it is going to change when there is a little bundle crying her eyes out at two in the morning when you have to be at school at eight in the morning and then get home with homework, your chores and a husband craving your attention. You also need to learn how to communicate with your husband and how to be firm about sharing duties regarding baby, but you also need to remember that he is studying a little harder than you because he is not going to be allowed to study one grade over eighteen months like your school is doing for you because you have been their best student since you started there. He is going to start working at the end of the summer vacation, and he is going to be working eight to nine hours a day whereas you are going to be a mom twenty-four seven while studying, and again, the school is allowing you to do your senior year over eighteen months to give you a fair chance to succeed while you have a baby to look after, and they did not have to do that. They could have actually just suspended you for absence from school.”

Skye nodded and she wiped her cheeks and then took the tissue from her mom.

“And I am not being a grumpy mom or something like that, I am telling you the truth so that you can think before you retaliate in the way you did in the kitchen. Yes I understand if whatever he said, he did out loud to try and embarrass you, but whispering something intimate in your ear is his way of telling you that he loves you and you are on his mind, and giving you hints that he wants you and not some other woman in his arms.” Cartia said. “And smashing ice cream in his face when he did it privately even though you were in a ‘public’ place, is telling him to bug off because you are not interested, and if that keeps happening, he is going to cheat on you in the next two to five years, especially if your communication level is still where it is now, and it is not because he does not love you, it will be because he does not feel loved.”

“And the greatest two needs of the human race, is to feel loved and to feel accepted.” Skye said softly. “Aunt Robyn has been giving me these ‘online’ courses because I want to be one of the counselors on the weekend camp we went to when I was six, but this one is for risky kids. Teachers have been asked to find out which kids are bullies and get bullied, and which kids get no parent ‘visits’ during school games and so on. I saw the pamphlets on my teacher’s desk and asked for one of them. The camp I want to go to is just six to nine.”

“So remember that, angel.” Cartia said. “Your husband’s needs as a man are not less important just because you are currently carrying his child and feel uncomfortable and moody and a whole bunch of one million other feelings. His craving for you is just as important as your craving for the chips and ice cream. If you get home from school and want to drool all over your husband or have a need for him to drool all over you, which will come, when he is not even home yet, go take a bath and pull on some intimate stuff for him and make yourself irresistible for him. If you do not feel like you have the energy to put some effort into getting him to go crazy for you, pull one of his shirts on, send him a picture with a message with it that will make his head go into overdrive and take a little nap to get your energy levels up a notch.”

“I am still seven months pregnant, mom.” Skye said.

“Intimacy is not just him undressing you and climbing into you.” Cartia said. “You need to learn how important touch is in your marriage. How many times have you walked somewhere with him and he sticks his hand into your back pocket or he gives you a smack on your bum if you go the opposite direction of him, or walk a little further than him?”

“He probably does it at least once a day.” Skye said.

“Or I have seen him sneaking up on you just to grab your bum while placing a kiss in your neck.” Cartia said.

“Usually in my room or the bathroom when I am finishing up for school.” Skye said.

“And how does that make you feel?” Cartia asked.

“Depends on my mood.” Skye said. “If he has been at school and then lets me know that he is going to go and play hockey or something with some of his friends and only gets home at five or six in the evening and especially after a shower, when he has already said hi and stuff, it feels like I am important to him on a different level. Like he knows I am his and he is not afraid to show it, especially when he does it when we are around his friends or my friends or even just in the mall.”

“Have you tried doing the same for him?” Cartia asked.

“No.” Skye said. “I do not like it when my friends grab their boyfriends’ bums while we are walking in the mall, showing such raw affection in public for each other when they are not married.”

“You do not have to do it in public with your husband, but he will definitely appreciate it when you do it at home or even if you start doing it when you have a date night.” Cartia said. “Baby steps. You have seen me and dad do it with each other, and dad will even stick his hands into my front pockets in public, and it is one of the ways they tell us that they need some TLC because it is close enough to not be awkward while in public and in some way it is tell you that they are battling to keep their hands off of us. It is not wrong to enjoy your husband’s hands on your skin, and all over your body, and it is not wrong to want his hands all over your body, or to get your hands all over his body. In fact, it is needed to keep your marriage alive.”

Skye nodded and she smiled when her mom made spiders over her belly.

“And that is the reaction your husband dies for.” Cartia said when she saw and felt her daughter relaxing and getting a faraway look in her eyes. “And it is the kind of touch I know you need, but I think it is time someone tells you that you are actually craving his touch in more places than just your belly.”

Skye smiled and she looked at her mom when she undid the back of her gym top.

“Your dad knows he should not come into the room until I am done talking to you.” Cartia said and she took her phone and sent a quick message. “Go have a shower and then I will do your hair.”

“With the dye?” Skye asked.

“If you want me to.” Cartia said and she smiled when her daughter looked at the package before nodding. “Go on.”

Skye smiled at her mom and then went into her parents’ bathroom that had a more homey and slightly more ‘romantic’ feel to it with the softer light and fancier layout and stuff. She enjoyed a nice hot shower and turned when the door opened and then bit her lip when Ty waved at her while peaking past the door. “What are you doing here?”