The Drowned and the Living

Damn that Bobbie. Accusing me of stealing his lunch. Again! For the record, I didn’t steal ANYTHING. I found that piece of frozen reindeer meat from the ground. There were no name-tag. Finders keepers, you know. But maybe I should have given him a small piece of it, after all, Bobbie is my best friend. Best friend-s***h-enemy, in fact. If only Noona wasn’t so attracted to him. Ok, I admit, I’m jealous. But that’s not why I dashed for that piece of meat, no. Blame it on hunger, our everyday condition here in Two Lovers Island. I should tell you about Two Lovers Island, our safe haven. But before that, let me describe you Noona, since I mentioned her. We refer Noona as ”her”, although no-one’s a hundred per cent sure if she’s a girl, or a boy, or something in between. She’s one of those mutants with whom you can never tell. Strong, beautiful, charismatic, has both of us young guys (me & Bobbie) absolutely stunned. My money is on she’s being a girl. If I had any money, that is. Nobody has any money anymore. There’s no shops, and nothing to buy anyway. This is the new world now. Noona has a beautiful face, long hair, and impressive biceps. Curvy body, shiny horns, and a tail. She’s the most perfect creature I’ve ever seen. And boy, have I seen a lot of them. ”Max, you lousy thief, I’ll get you for this! Just wait.” That was Bobbie, all words, no action. I hope. My real name is Maximilian von Beauregard, by the way. I hate when they call me just Max. But they all do. So call me Max. Whatever. Back to Two Lovers, our safe haven. Our last resort. Or something like that. It’s actually an island that got its name from mountain tops that are shaped like two human heads together. But the mountain is now all but sinked, us all in top of it, ready to leave. (I actually thought the mountain look more like a human’s naked butt, but ”The Butt c***k Island” wasn’t very popular suggestion.) We found our way here a month ago, me and Bobbie. We were the only ones that survived from the sinking ship somewhere on the sea formerly known as Atlantic. Now all of them, the Pacific Ocean, Atlantic Ocean, Mediterranean Sea, and the smaller ones form one, huge pool of salt water. Two Lovers is slowly floating, like all the islands that are left. We only have one day before the moon goes up and brings the tide. Then it’s good-bye, farewell, Two Lovers. See you again, never. Adios, sayonara, dasvidaniya. Besides. it’s getting colder day by day. ”Winter is coming”, as the Old Ones use to say. Where do they get all these stupid sayings? All should be ready for our departure. Our boat is patched and packed, it’s not a beauty, but it floats and it’s firm. It’s actually an old life boat from an unknown ocean liner. It has oars, a small sail, and just enough room for all of us and our supplies. That boat is the most valuable thing we own. It keeps us alive. Yeah, and it’s yellow. We have enough food and water for maybe a week, possibly two. In that time we must find another island, hopefully one that has some fresh water, and maybe even plants. I can’t even remember how fresh fruits taste. So we are heading South. There should be a lot of dry land in higher areas. For sudden hostilities we pack our swords, spears, clubs, and other weapons. We are killers, after all, and if we face agression from other groups, we defend ourselves. Off we go! There’s absolutely nothing to fear, except maybe sinking or keeling of the boat, rains and thunderstorms, giant 100 meter long boat-swallowing sea monsters, and running out of food so we start killing and eating each other. So wish us luck.