The last night

Its 2:15am. i woke up out of nowhere. i am fari. a restless sleeper, and a future songwriter. whatsoever, my life is a disaster! im trying to find my airpods, because my neighbors are so loud! their noise is haunting me in my dreams, and i hate it now. currently am just scrolling on i********:, watching everyones story, because its entertaining, no? There's this guy i once had a crush on when i was pretty young. you know what they say, younger ones are so in love sometimes? his name is zuzie. zuzie and i have never even talked before. i recently started following him on i********:. he's my ex boyfriends best friend. i ended up replying to his i********: story and guess what, HE REPLIED! He replied so fast as i replied him back. so strange that hes awake right now? i would pretty much like if i let the readers decode what we talked about, but honestly i wouldn't even share. its a little PG13 if you know what i mean. all of the sudden i started telling zuzie all my deep secrets, i can't believe i did that? i didnt really expected a guy who is my ex boyfriend's best friend to actually talk to me and for 60 minutes? anyways, time passed so quick i didnt even realized and that its 3am already? im very anxious person, i have everyday dying thoughts, so i shared them with zuzie and he just became a therapist to me. i guess a therapist needs a therapist too. all this chit chat and i totally forgot, BEHIND HAPPY FACE SESSION IN MORNING AT 9AM, AND I AM THE MENTOR THERE! behind happy face is basically a session which is based on mental health. in all this chatting with zuzie, i told zaafir that i was picked out of the trash can on 17 august 2008 so zuzie said "disagree with the trashcan part, youre beautiful as f**k" he called me beautiful, can you believe that? a girl barely gets to hear these type of compliments from random guys and its such a great feeling! i can sense the butterflies in my stomach and he can sense the slippers from his brown mom, because apparently in a desi family you're supposed to be asleep by midnight and its way past that. i can tell zuzie never talked to a girl more than 5 minutes, and im the first girl he ever talked to more that 1 hour. he told me his crush never gave him this much attention like i did. say goodbye to your crush, zuzie puzie. i continued ranting to zuzie. honestly i have never ranted to someone, and now ranting to zuzie felt like ive known him for years even though we just started talking. fari says, "be my personal therapist" zuzie replies, "you dont need therapy, fari. only self control" that actually hits me hard. ive never really thought about having self control. i cant seem to handle my emotions and nobody understands that, i think zuzie did? this got me thinking way too deep about the situation i was in that it was almost 5:30am. i kind off feel like im starting to gain feelings for zuzie, or maybe i dont know... ive just started talking why would i push it to the conclusion so fast, what if he doesn't feel the same thing about me? theres no stop button for our chat to finish, because its 6:15am now and i have to sleep because i have a session to attend. let me not spoil this, but my ex is gonna be there. this night, me and zuzie spend a good time together just ranting to each other and sharing music taste. like have you ever found a guy who is interested in taylor swifts music? did i just found my soulmate? is it really him, or is this a dream? "a note to zuzie from fari, i know you'll never read this, but i just want zuzie to know youre the best guy ive ever met. you should i love you even if we are not dating (yet).. forever and always, fari."